ON MY OWN Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 My fiance broke up with me a little over 2 months ago. It was a traumatic breakup for me because he went back and forth with me, not wanting to really end it but questioning things because I wanted to establish rules for his children which I came to love as my own and they called me mom. their mother had abandon them for a life of drugs/criminal activity. I have made much progress since I moved back in state. However I feel I have a great 7 days or so and then like 2 real bad ones, almost in a depressive state with alot of crying. I will never go back. I cannot just turn my heart off. I know in time it will get better, or am hopeful that it will. My question is how long and is this normal? It is the worst breakup I have ever had because he couldnt make a solid decision and stick with it one way or the other, even an ending where we both walk away wishing eachother luck. My question is how long am I looking at feeling this way? I have heard the theory that it takes about half the time you were with someone to trruly get over them? According to this though it would take someone that was married 14 years nearly 7 years to get over them? That cant be!! I am moving forward and doing things to keep busy as well as improving my life. I am tired of this and am not the type of person to dwell or feel sorry for myself. I consider myself a strong woman, and would like to know if there is anyway to speed the healing process up at all. Guys, why couldnt he do the wishing me well thing? Anyone that can elaborate on any of this would be most appreciated. My heart feels like it is healing, but at a snails pace. We were together nearly a year and a half. Thanks in advance for any guys feelings on this as well as anyones experiences/thoughts on this.
Author ON MY OWN Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Trying to get some insight on this. Another late night full of thoughts and hating the way this is making me feel. This will become my late night :(diary maybe... Hope I feel better soon......not understanding this............ Thanks.....OMO
adamt Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I'm about 7 weeks down the line. During the week i keep myself busy with work and going to the gym, so i can blank it out. Although i do wake up about 5:30-6am every morning. I occassionally get bouts of sadness and tiredness of the whole thing. Questions going through your head and how you could have done things differently.Sundays are the worst because they are the quiet times and we would have spent all weekend together. On saturday i usually get active and bike or walk during the day and on a night go out with friends. Basically there is no quick solution but you have to want move on. All you can do it not contact them and just fill your time up with things that make you feel better and improves yourself confidence. Spend as much time as possible in teh company of friends. Everyone heals at different pace.
joseffrost Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Spend as much time as possible in teh company of friends. Everyone heals at different pace. So so true - I'm at just over a month now. I spent the first three weeks completely withdrawn, just sitting on my own in my flat, thinking far too much, drinking far too much and writing far too much bad poetry... As soon as I got out and started socialising it made a huge difference. It's surprising how understanding old friends - who you neglected for the sake of the relationship - can be. I'm not saying that you should go straight out and try to forget about everything, it's not possible. But being around other people is certainly the best way to move on.
Author ON MY OWN Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Thank you for the feedback and I am definitely keeping my eye on this thread. Some of this I have been doing...also want to KEEP doin to make sure I dont regress and trying to SMILE , if possible this:laugh: or:lmao:, lol. Hear ya on the bad poetry, lol.
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