babsluvsyou Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I met my bf four months ago, Im 30 he is 39. We both have been married before and finally we felt like we found our perfect match in each other. He did a few things to me that were inconsiderate and rude, so last Sunday I said I wanted to talk about some stuff. He text me & said "oh great" I said its not that bad dont worry about it and after work I text him and asked him if he sometimes wishes I would break it off with him so he doesn't have to dump me. That was probably my biggest mistake, now he will not return my calls. Will not answer when I call. I got him a card and wrote him a letter, pouring my heart & soul out to him and when I got in return was a bunch of texts saying he is better alone, wants to be alone, dont have a perfect match...etc. This is killing me. I miss him. I only ask questions to further our communication and be able to have a strong relationship. All of this he said is why he loved me so much. Said he never felt this type of love even in his marriage. Im so very in love with him. What do I do now?
sa14 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 if he really loves you in my opinion then he wouldn't respond to your action in such an (sorry to say this) immature way. or maybe he saw you were thinking in that way and he was afraid of losing you so he did it himself. my boyfriend did that to me, he told me he lied and cheated on me for three years and then he asked why i would want to be with him. it really hurt. but a few years later he told me that was all a lie just because he couldn't take being just my friend- so he only wanted to love or hate me. I dont know why some guys do this. maybe because of an insecurity they feel when they get a feeling of doubt from their significant other. girls do this too though because as soon as my boyfriend told me those things i wanted nothing to do with him, even though inside i knew i still loved him.
bella16 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Wow felt like I was reading my own post. I say one thing to my bf about why he doesn't wanna make plans with me or ask me what Im doing on the weekend and he took it so wrong and broke up with me. Telling me I deserve better, that I'm always complaining about him, he doesn't make me happy. If I was truly unhappy I would have broken up with him...but I didn't because I was happy and I love him...and he ends up dumping me! Wow, what we get for being honest sometimes! Sorry you are going through it. Me and him have been together only 5 months, I am 23 and he is almost 30 years old...you'd think he'd handle things more maturely! I am on Day 4 of NC...been going out with friends and not sweating it like I was when he dumped me (I was a mess!). He'll realize what he did and I won't give him the time of day! Hope everythings works out for you.
Author babsluvsyou Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Its day two for me, just the beginning. Luckily I have to work the next 5 days straight. GOod luck.
LisaUk Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Perhaps he cannot handle the idea of braeking up, if he was hurt in his divorce, the way you came across with the comment, may have triggered something in him? Not your fault, you couldn't have known if this is the case. Then again, perhaps his marriage failed because he is unable to resolve conflict and be mature? Back off, right off, give him some space for a few weeks, then tentatively contact him and ask if he would like to get a drink as friends. If he agrees you can broach the subject from there?
Author babsluvsyou Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Well Im on day 6 of NC, and I feel right at this moment, that I dont wanna speak to him ever again. My feelings are subject to change any minute tho. I m just gonna keep being strong and keep doing NC, it makes me feel better.
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