sa14 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 My boyfriend and I started dating in seventh grade (ya...lonng time ago haha). We broke up by 9th grade because he started flirting with other girls and you know when you're young and real jealous it gets to you. So I went up to him to confront him and he turned right around and said " I lied to you and cheated on you for three years". Being so young and hearing something like that can be traumatizing. So I went through high school still loving him but I tried dating other people. Just wasn't the same feeling. He dated one other girl and that wasn't for about a year or two after we broke up in 9th grade. I can't believe I remember all of this but it must have really had an impact. So we started talking again our senior year, and eventually started dating again. We love each other, but I know I have a hard time trusting him. I feel terrible about it, but in a way I guess he brought it upon himself for telling me he cheated on me and that our relationship meant nothing when I fell for him way back then. He gets upset when I question things he does like why some girl calls him or texts him. He thinks I don't trust him and the little issues blow up into huge issues where I feel bad and I feel like it's my fault. There's another problem. His ex girlfriend doesn't stop texting him. Or calling. In essence, he really only went out with her to try to get over me because he didn't ever think I'd want him back. I guess he told me he lied and cheated to make me hate him (worked) because he couldn't deal with a friendship- it was either i was his girlfriend or his enemy. So this girl is obsessive and very emotional. She calls my boyfriend about issues she's having with her new boyfriend and what not. But she's always there. always. Today I was at work and I got a text from an unknown number. It was her. she asked if he and i were back together and i said yes. she then proceeded to tell me how he lies to me and hes always talking to her and telling her he doesn't love me and that we aren't together. now i brought it up with him and he got upset with the situation naturally but then he told me why did you even text her back that wasn't the best way to handle it. but what do i do? do i trust him? i want to, with my whole heart. it tears me apart to want to trust him and know that i love him, but there's still that little voice inside saying, well- he's done it before, why would he stop now? what if he is talking to her? and what if there are others? I know i love him, i know he loves me. I know he's planning to get engaged soon, (but shh i'm not supposed to know) but i still get so upset over this. HELP!
Author sa14 Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 I need some advice...this is driving me crazy
Javelin Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I need some advice...this is driving me crazy You don't need advice, because you know what everyone is going to say. What you should do is step out of the picture for a second and look at your relationship from a different point of view. Seriously, take a moment and ask yourself, 'should I really feel like this in a relationship?' Obviously, if you're here questioning it, then something is wrong and you need to build the strength to see it. That said, you can stay with this boy, but will you truly be happy with someone you can't really trust? Keep in mind, trust is what makes or breaks a relationship and without it, there's nothing left. P.S. - There are better guys out there for you! Guys that you can love, trust, and respect without the extra baggage and they'll send those feelings right back at you!
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 P.S. - There are better guys out there for you! Guys that you can love, trust, and respect without the extra baggage and they'll send those feelings right back at you! Exactly! Don't think this guy is something special just because you dated him in the 7th grade. It's time you re-evaluate the relationship. How honest is he?
batterup788 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I agree... look at my thread, if an ex is always hanging around like that, its definitely not a healthy thing for the relationship. I think Javelin put it perfectly, step away for a few days, maybe even a week or two, and actually assess everything. Just by being away from mine for 11 days I can see the situation in a different light, it hurts right now, but I know I'm better off.
Author sa14 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 thanks everyone...ya it hurts and i don't know if he sees me for more than physical assets. i mean i hope he sees me as more than that, but i don't know. he's very i guess demanding and controlling by the sounds of it, isn't he.. but if i step away, i may lose him. he would flip out. like totally flip- cry, not eat, etc. he's very emotional. a little tooooo emotional i guess. but when i am with him most of the time i love it. i love talking with him we always have fun he isn't boring or anti social or socially awkward. i love watching his sporting events and being very supportive of him. maybe i'm just a good girlfriend haha ugh this stinks. i'm never letting my kids date in high school haha they'll only get their hearts broken
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