so gutted Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I am back into my old ways. I went to meet a man at his home - that I had only known 5 mins on msn and 2 mins chat on the phone. I met him solely because I found him attractive on webcam and because he could fulfill my needs. He delivered 1000%> Problem is I turned up to his home - I was unconcerned as to what would happen if he turned out to be a madman. It was all part of the danger. I know deeep deeeeeep deeep down that this is crazy but i cannot stop myself at all. Help me to understand why the quiestest ones are the worst. (me that is)
bean1 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Well, just looking at your previous posts (wondering if you can get pregnant from the tip of a penis & saying you are addicted to online dating sites), sounds like you need to go see a therapist. What is it that you want? A relationship? Random casual sex? Is your self esteem in the gutter?
Author so gutted Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 i know what i do not want - that is to miss out on sex because i cannot find a proper partner. What really gets me is that this was a real council estate place. I didnt even feel scared stepping into this fantasy world. i do not feel low about this, it feels good but how can it be when its so out of the ordinary? I am behaving like a man. I dont get it. I think i have actually got to a stage where I am so driven by attraction i am not even looking for a real relationship, i just want lust.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I am back into my old ways. I went to meet a man at his home - that I had only known 5 mins on msn and 2 mins chat on the phone. I met him solely because I found him attractive on webcam and because he could fulfill my needs. He delivered 1000%> Problem is I turned up to his home - I was unconcerned as to what would happen if he turned out to be a madman. It was all part of the danger. I know deeep deeeeeep deeep down that this is crazy but i cannot stop myself at all. Help me to understand why the quiestest ones are the worst. (me that is) It seems as though you may be mentally ill.
13arkansas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 You're not acting like a man...what a strange thing of you to say. How normal is it for a man to go to some dingy project to have sex with a girl he met 2 minutes ago? A man can go after sex quickly but if he is a catch he will look for a girl who is sexy and hot, who he meets in a classy bar. Sure, its just one night but why would it have to be truly skanky, like you're saying a man would be? So you see, you are not acting like a man. You are acting like someone who has absolutely no self respect whatsoever. One day something very bad is going to happen to you...please watch out! It is sad to hear someone let a man get her so easily. This isn't a post to be mean, so I hope it doesnt sounds like that...I just would like to hear you find a nicer way to be with a guy but to value yourself too!
Yamaha Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 You obviously think your value is about your body and having sex validates you. You need therapy to find out why you value yourself so little (and know it is not about the great sex this man gave you).
Els Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 i know what i do not want - that is to miss out on sex because i cannot find a proper partner. What really gets me is that this was a real council estate place. I didnt even feel scared stepping into this fantasy world. i do not feel low about this, it feels good but how can it be when its so out of the ordinary? I am behaving like a man. I dont get it. I think i have actually got to a stage where I am so driven by attraction i am not even looking for a real relationship, i just want lust. Why is everyone saying that this is worse than a man going to a bar looking for a 1-night-stand? That she's immoral, needs therapy, has no self-respect, etc? It's the same thing, really. However, all that aside, it IS dangerous. Why didn't you just have that man meet you somewhere public first? You could have all that lust that you wanted... you just needed to be a bit more careful about it.
13arkansas Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Come on, of course it is worse than a man going to a nice bar looking for a 1 night stand. A girl can easily also go to a nice bar to look for a 1 night stand. The difference here (regardless of gender) is that there is NO reason to meet a schmoe on msn then go to a dingy project in the middle of God knows where for a night of sex. Do you not see the difference between those 2 scenarios? I recently felt like the poster in that I wanted a little fun liaison with a guy, and I had been chatting online to a nice guy for a while...he was handsome, wealthy, funny...we met up for a 2nd date and he took me for dinner at a lovely restaurant, then I accepted his invite back to his apartment (close to where I live), as I knew I didn't want a R with him, but I did want to enjoy just one evening of naughtiness. For me that didn't involve sex but a little fooling around (we all have different limits/etc that we're comfortable with, after all) - he gave me this and it was fun, and straight after this happened, I left (-; He was very sweet and would have liked me to stay. So the net result...a naughty night with a guy, was kind of the same as the poster....but do you not see how the different scenarios were VERY important in their differences?! There is no reason to really behave like a skank or put yourself in danger if you are after a little erotic encounter.
Els Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 The danger is different. The 'skankiness' (your word, not mine) is not. Both the bar ONS and meeting someone online for sex are the same in that respect.
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Why is everyone saying that this is worse than a man going to a bar looking for a 1-night-stand? That she's immoral, needs therapy, has no self-respect, etc? It's the same thing, really. I would tend to agree with you, if I hadn't read a sampling of her previous threads. Personally, I see some pretty serious issues (psychological, not "moral").
stepka Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I get the feeling that the danger is more erotic than the sex here, or that at least they're intertwined. Why not take up bungie jumping or skydiving, or something? That feels dangerous but isn't as much and maybe you'll meet a nice man while doing it, and then you guys can roleplay dangerous scenarios.
13arkansas Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Elswyth, I see that you understand then, as that was the whole point of my post - OF COURSE the danger is the difference. This is the whole issue here. And the skankiness, well it is not as simple as saying 'meet online or in a bar, they are both as skanky' - you need to consider all the variables in a situation before you throw out a blanket judgement. For example, just meeting online...there is meeting in a chatroom for people that want hookups or on those bad listings on Craigslist and saying lets have sex after 5 mis...that is WAY different to meeting on a popular social website, where you already know a lot about the guy, you have chatted a while, you set up a meeting and have a fun evening together, then decide to take it further if you are both comfortable. It is the details here that make something skanky (both our words now!).
Els Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Elswyth, I see that you understand then, as that was the whole point of my post - OF COURSE the danger is the difference. This is the whole issue here. And the skankiness, well it is not as simple as saying 'meet online or in a bar, they are both as skanky' - you need to consider all the variables in a situation before you throw out a blanket judgement. For example, just meeting online...there is meeting in a chatroom for people that want hookups or on those bad listings on Craigslist and saying lets have sex after 5 mis...that is WAY different to meeting on a popular social website, where you already know a lot about the guy, you have chatted a while, you set up a meeting and have a fun evening together, then decide to take it further if you are both comfortable. It is the details here that make something skanky (both our words now!). I am not the one throwing out a blanket judgement. You're the one saying 'having a 10-minute chat with a guy online and then going to have sex with him is skanky, whereas having a drink with a girl in a bar and then having sex is not'. I'm just saying that if we're going to throw out blanket judgements, we should at least be fair. You said 'behave like a skank OR put yourself in danger'. I agree with the 'put yourself in danger' part, like I said. What does danger have to do with skankiness, though?
boogieboy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 If youre enjoying yourself, I say keep going until one day you feel you want something more. If you just want sex, youre an adult, that isnt a bad thing. Sure there is danger, but if you do get savagely beat up after an encounter, you'll stop doing that. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to learn. But really, if you dont feel you need a relationship, thats fine. Enjoy yourself. One day the urge for a relationship might come back to you, you'll know what to do then. Wait, are you sure youre not back into your old ways to rebound from a last relationship? is all this strange sex a result of a heartbreak?
You'reasian Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I am back into my old ways. I went to meet a man at his home - that I had only known 5 mins on msn and 2 mins chat on the phone. I met him solely because I found him attractive on webcam and because he could fulfill my needs. He delivered 1000%> Problem is I turned up to his home - I was unconcerned as to what would happen if he turned out to be a madman. It was all part of the danger. I know deeep deeeeeep deeep down that this is crazy but i cannot stop myself at all. Help me to understand why the quiestest ones are the worst. (me that is) The female mind is one of the most amazing things of all You find public perversion and colorful discussion disgusting and yet go into this secret world of private hot sex arrangements. Intriguing.
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