Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 how do you do it when every little thing reminds you off them, songs make me cry where ever i am, and sometimes i just listen to them to cry because i miss her SO F'ING much, i know shes hurting too and probably misses me just as much but what can i do when she doesnt want any contact atm. if we both miss each other so much then i cannot ever understand a world that wont let her just say lets try again. im writing this so i dont contact her saying this, because sticking to what shes asked is the only way i will get any respect and future from her.
SRTtoZ Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I know what you mean...I go through that everday. I dont cry though...I actually get happy and sad at the same time. All of our memories were positive except for when we were figthing...but there was never any Cheating or ANYTHING horrible. I am 100% sure shes going through the same thing as me but she needs her space...I agree with that. Its tough...Seeing movies that I saw with her, songs that remind me of her (that she sang in the car while grabbing my hand and using it as a drum lol). It sucks big time...But I'm just living my life and moving on. There's not 1 doubt in my mind that one day I will be able to patch things up and make her happy again.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 i really know what you mean and i think the same thing and there isnt a doubt in my mind that when she comes back to uni if she wants to hang out i can make her happy again, but i know right now she needs this space, i spoke to her mother who says shes getting so upset and just goes to the gym all the time and runs to take her mind of it, like what i do, so if shes hurting as much as me then she surley feels a lot for me. but your right the memories are the hardest part, i just quit my job, only part time because i couldnt handle the memories of her being there and what we did, so i just thought its easier to leave than to be depressed while there. i miss talking, i dont know about you but she was my best friend and when there gone by god dont you miss talking, i miss that more than the sex, the fun we had, and i know deep down in my heart shes feeling the same too. no contact is hard, thats why this site is good because i would write on here what id like to say to her, and its nice to know sometimes other people are feeling like i am too, none of my lad mates can believe i can cry so much but im sensitive :-( i just pray everyday with the space she will miss everything so much she does contact.
SRTtoZ Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I know...isnt it funny how sex is a big part of most relationships (mine anyway) but when something like this happens, its the last thing you think about. All the emails ive exchanged with her before NC, sex wasnt part of anything...Even though it was a great part of our relationship. I think I'm fortunate because she lives 1 hour away, so I dont really see her in my everyday activties....I only drove to where she lives to see her, not like I hang out there...And shes getting over surgery as we speak so she isnt really going out and everything. She warned me about the breakup but I did nothing to try and fix myself and how I treated her...I was way too protective. But anyway just stick it out...I'm finally getting back into great shape hitting the gym everyday, somethign I gave up when I met her...I'm feelin great, looking great and just keep busy, go out with friends... Think of the memories more of a positive thing than a negative one. Those same things you're thinking, shes thinking...She has so many things on HER mind as well.
Giha Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I know what you mean...its driving me crazy. everything reminds me of her, i cant go through a single day without having something to remind me how I long for her. ugh.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 im feeling it to with getting in shape, im thinner than i have been before and i know she liked it more when i was more in shape becasuse her career was all about being fit (studying dance at uni) and it does give you something to do. she lives 4 hours away from me when not at uni so i have no chance of bumping into her but then again i live in the house we bascially lived in for a year so its very hard seeing everything when shes not around. i know she has a lot on her mind and i know how down shes been feeling through her mum telling me or from other sources but i just worry far to much about when she comes back to uni she wont wanna speak but i know if she did i could make her happy again that was never an issue, hers was me giving her space and not crowding her all the time. everyone on this site does seem quite pesimistic about getting back together with ex's but im no so sure, we have stopped talking after arguing a lot on a holiday and then because of the time apart now she wants her space to "get over me" but see how things are when she comes back.. its just the memories which hurt if you think **** they arnt gonna happen again with her and i do truly think she is the one for me, just have to wait and see but then again that is so much easier said than done. :-( what do you do if you really wanna chat to her about day to day things? have you drove your mates crazy by talking about her all day?
NopeNah Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 have you drove your mates crazy by talking about her all day? I did this at first.. My roomate/best friend actualy told me "you've never talked about her this much during your whole relationship, why now?" At that point I realized it was not her leaving me that hurt the most. It was what it did to my ego! I'm a VERY confidant, borderline cocky(in the good way) person. This disapeared when she left me. "I" disapeared when she left me, or that's how I felt. It took me a good 2 months to start getting back to be myself. It's been 3.5 months now and i'm 98% there! Just hang in there and soon you'll start making new memories with new people and experiences. You CANNOT however do this by setting around moaping over those that have chosen to leave you. You have to get the frame of mind and accept that your life, as you knew it, with that person is over!
AnswersPls Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 It took me a good 2 months to start getting back to be myself. It's been 3.5 months now and i'm 98% there! Just hang in there and soon you'll start making new memories with new people and experiences. You CANNOT however do this by setting around moaping over those that have chosen to leave you. You have to get the frame of mind and accept that your life, as you knew it, with that person is over! Reading the above posts.. I realise that you guys are NC-ing because you wan to give her space.. But is still positve that one day ur exs will come back.. Do you think this will happen? Shouldn't it be NC-ing to heal ourselves emotionally?.. instead of wishing that ur exs will come back.. Its already one month and 1 day for me. Until now, my ex is still not contacting me.. I used to wish that he would come back.. but in reality, I know he will never come back, and it makes me feel better..and i know it sucks like hell. But hang in there.. time will "slowly" heal the pain.. Perhaps, Daylight is right, we need to move on, with or without that person.. ps:encouragement to daylight! You can do it.. do share with u when u r 100% okay..
adamt Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 if you do NC the memories fade although not forgotten. Your 3 year relationship starts to feel like a 1 year relationship. Yeah, i do have problems with things reminding me about ex. But you have to deal with it and get used to it and it will get better. All you can do is keep busy and the memories start to fade. For the first month i talked about her to everyone. I'm now getting to the stage where i am accepting things. Although i do have my sad days (like this morning) and feeling tired of it all and wish it could be fixed or just go away. Time is the only thing that can really help you. Like other people i started going to the gym. I'm getting fitter. I push myself on the treadmill and cross trainer. Its an outlet to get rid of all the frustration. Sick of waking up at 5:30-6am every morning
AnswersPls Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I so know how you feel. I am also sick of waking up so early on weekends.. But we have to stay strong and continue to encourage each other.. Because we have to love ourselves!
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 yeah i know that NC is ment to be about heeling ourselves but i cant get the idea that we could be together again out of my brain no matter how hard i try, its only because of the things shes said and how we have been in the past. so i do guess thats why im NC just to give her space like shes asked. im hurting from the dreams, all the dreams are just of us being ok again, going to the cinema, going for a meal, the simple things and then when you wake up reality hits you that ATM you dont even know how she is, i wonder if she has these dreams to as the way we broke up we were torn apart rather than a steady drifting meaning this was a shock to her to. if i hadnt have spoken to her mum i would never have known shes hurting just as much as me which gives me some hope that there is something there rather than her just moving on and being fine with it all.
leedlee1 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 split from my first love over three years ago now we were together 7 years, she left for another guy and has now since had a kid with him, and not heared a single word or txt,email nothing! from her since the day she left,i do often look back on our old memmories but by the way she treated me and cheated on me i got over her very very quickly. i am now happily married , people move on but i promise you your ex will never forget you, just like you wont forget them. the memories fade away slowly over time
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