adamt Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Looking back i was a mess for atleast 2 weeks. I work with computers all day and have access to the internet so i was browsing forums like this for answers i had in my head. kept checking my email for emails from the ex and checking facebook. emailing friends about it all. I couldnt seem to focus on things at work, my memory became poor, i was in a daze, I couldnt think straight, I would go to the toilet to let my emotions out a few times a day. driving home from work i would start to cry as i let out all the built up emotions. the afternoons would drag. Looking back i wonder how i never got into trouble. i thought about taking time off work but the last thing i wanted to do is be sat at home all day. I eventually pulled myself together at work after a friend i work with gave me a wake up call with a friendly chat.
Excellent Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Work was hellish for me after the break, mainly because me and my ex work together in the same office First week after, complete icefront. That was one of my toughest weeks in my life, i remember thinking that "hellweek" in the army was nothing compared to this. Then came the period where she met a new guy, sneaking away to take his phonecalls, always hanging on the phone and texting. I couldn't help noticing, we practically sit right next to eachother, still do to this day. The first 4 months after were the worst in my life without a doubt, coming to work 5 days a week, everytime we looked at eachother, said something to eachother, just some sort of communication at all, my stomach would twitch and it felt like someone dropped a stone on my chest. But i never showed any weakness infront of her. I always managed to wait until i got home, before i let my guard drop. There were many times i would be a complete wreck the second i entered my front door. My coping at work was just to do more than usual. I dived into work, giving myself much more to do than i had to, just to keep my mind and eyes away from her. I would hit the gym right after work too, and if possible, hanging out with my mates or something right after. Anything to escape the home alone time in the evenings. I think too much when i'm alone
imhurt Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I am still trying to figure this one out. I am at work right now and cant focus on anything. In fact, I ALMOST just sent him a text, but I didn't. Still kind of considering it, but not as much. It has to get better soon. I can't afford to lose my job too!
joseffrost Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I was an absolute mess at work afterwards. It happened on a Friday and I called in sick on the Monday so I could fly to Ireland to try and patch things up with her. That first week I could at least pretend that I was just feeling ill, but a couple of weeks later my boss had to pull me aside and ask what was wrong. I'm normally so cheerful - cracking jokes and trying to keep the office in good spirits, but this last month I've just been a mess. Just come in, sit down, get the job done and go home for some more intense thinking. It is starting to get better now, admittedly, but I wish I could just get her off my mind and start enjoying life again.
heatherb16 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Work was my healer. I work as a waitress so I am always on the move, interacting with people. I actually looked forward to going to work to get my mind off of things. I thought I would be rude and unpleasant to people, but I was actually quite happy. I can see how working at a desk would bring a lot of things to your mind, though.
bella16 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I work in an office and it wasn't as bad for me like I would think. I actually just kept myself busy and did not think about it...until those moments when there just wasn't any work, that was hard! But the first few days I was leaving during my lunchbreak...just to take a drive, didn't have an appetite to eat any lunch. I honestly would rather be at work, then sitting at home crying and thinking so much.
NopeNah Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Mine was 3 days before I started a new job! That was a rough first day!
alphamale Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I eventually pulled myself together at work after a friend i work with gave me a wake up call with a friendly chat. thats good that your friend did that adam ant
reservoirdog1 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I'd just written the bar exam and was a few weeks into my first law firm job when XW dropped the bombshell and I learned the truth about my marriage. It devastated me. The next day, I went to work. I must have looked like death, because one of the lawyers asked if I was feeling unwell. It told him I was, and he suggested I go home, and not to worry about it. I did so. Next day I told him what had happened, and he was very sympathetic. I then went and told my boss what I was dealing with. He expressed understanding as well, and said that he would mention it to the other two partners just in case anybody complained about my work. A day or two later, one of the other two partners came to see me. He expressed his sympathies, told me that they were there for me, whether personally or professionally, and that they would totally understand if I needed to take some time off. Specifically he said "the law will always be here, but your family won't necessarily." It was a rough next several months, and while I my performance from my perspective could have been better, I actually received some commendations on the quality of my work. To this day, I hold those guys in high regard for the approach they took. Not all employers are that understanding.
fabulous_chk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK & ROLL! I did do drugs, rebounded left and right, loved alcohol far too damned much, became a bisexual, partied hard, fell in love, name it, I did all the craziest things. But exactly 4 months after the break-up (March 16-July 16), I am in a much better place. I love life right now. Things sort itself out. Just hang in there. And don't do what I did lol! I enjoyed everything though. I had sooo much fun!!! But now back to my normal, boring life.
evaG Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 My breakup happened DURING work in the form of an email. I had to pretend to my cubemate that my sniffles were allergies. It was terrible. I made dumb mistakes at work, was too slow getting things done. A week later, I just piled myself with work and now I look forward to going just so I have a distraction from the breakup. Admittedly, I constantly check my gmail to see if my ex emailed back (since we had been exchanging daily nonsubstance emails since our breakup. Though not anymore I say!).
stablesong Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Looking back i was a mess for atleast 2 weeks. I work with computers all day and have access to the internet so i was browsing forums like this for answers i had in my head. kept checking my email for emails from the ex and checking facebook. emailing friends about it all. I couldnt seem to focus on things at work, my memory became poor, i was in a daze, I couldnt think straight, I would go to the toilet to let my emotions out a few times a day. driving home from work i would start to cry as i let out all the built up emotions. the afternoons would drag. Looking back i wonder how i never got into trouble. i thought about taking time off work but the last thing i wanted to do is be sat at home all day. I eventually pulled myself together at work after a friend i work with gave me a wake up call with a friendly chat. This was exactly the same for me! I'm kind of still in the tail end of it. Instigated NC 7 weeks ago. I go for a long drive at lunch with a couple of cigarettes just to clear my head everyday. I'm finding that work is actually helping more and more though - being at home alone is the worst! I'm lucky to have some pretty good friends in both the office and my bar job.
sandy12345678993 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I met my ex at work. He stayed at the hotel where I work for 2 1/2 months. I can see him walking in the door and standing at the front desk. I can hear the sound of his flipflops coming down the steps. He used to text me throughout the day at work and he would call me around 9 to say goodnight. The sound of my phone vibrating makes me think of him. Sometimes, I'll go down to his room, where I spent the night, and sit there and just think. He's a constant presence at work. I used stand there and fold laundry and just cry and cry. I don't cry as much anymore. I've gotten to the point that the thought of him makes me smile now, because we were so good for a while. I like to concentrate on those thoughts rather than the ones that make me cry. It's getting easier.
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