lkjh Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Really quick, take a look at the part in bold that you wrote. Yes, I could have told him that I didn't know... but wouldn't that be considered lieing also?? Since I did know?? Is what you are trying to say is that some lies are alright? As far as me feeling bad about it, yes, of course I feel bad about it. I feel bad for him for being put in a situation like that (even though he doesn't know about it). I don't believe that cheating is alright under any circumstance. However, again I must say that it is none of my business. Also, as bad as this might make me sound, I do not owe her husband anything. I like him as a human being, he's a good guy, but if she were not with him I would not be friends with him. Because it was not my place to. If I was the one who cheated (which would have never happened to begin with) I would have immediatly admitted to my wrong doings. Since this wasn't about me, I lied for my best friends sake, this is not my place to admit anything. Yes it would be lying but it wouldn't be enabling. Also, I know a lot of people will disagree with this but there are different levels of lying. Your form made you a accomplice to the action For the second bolded section, please don't fool yourself. He knows deep down, but hes in denial. After the email I can guarantee he has had thoughts running through his mind over and over again. She is just lying like crazy and one day he will just get it. At that point he will be destroyed. Especially since he invested even more time. Your friend is literally stealing years of life from her H. How long ago did this happen and do you still see them? Have you ever talked to your friend about this? My last question is do you really think it's a good idea to advise people to lie in this situation?
MissViolet Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I would say that it is none of my business if my friend decides to cheat on her bf. I have a bestfriend who cheated on her now ex-bf. I told her I was against it and told her to stop, but I would never ever consider telling her bf. Why? Because my loyalty is with my friend, and those were the choices she made. Similarly, I have guy friends who cheat on their gfs and I wouldn't tell their gfs either, for similar reasons.
Author ybot Posted September 5, 2009 Author Posted September 5, 2009 As I said earlier, I came to my senses and it really is none of my business considering my friendship is with my friend and not her bf. thanks for the comments as it helped put things in perspective!
imagine Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Sorry Ybot, I did not mean to take the subject off course when I referred to Erika. I believe that in a marriage, the two people become one -not quite the case with a relationship. I believe that marital intervention is necessary in the previous case. And I was not cross with Erika. As a husband in that case, I would take every precaution to protect my marriage.
knowyour-self Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 a friend came to me one day and said his girlfriend was cheating-this is what i told him-forgive them,this may seem hard with the way u feel but keep reading.Regardless of what he or she says the excuse was -u shouldnt feel bad about this situation,hes the guilty party as is she..the only problem with the guilty partys is that they rarely feel emotion or guilt toward their victim about what they have done-until after the event and even then they decide that whats ‘done is done’il tell him/her to clear my concious and then i may aswell carry on with my own life’-and then u are left feeling,hurt,upset,u lose sleep and you get the ulcer-not them,all these things are unhealthy and are hurting YOU, they only way to relieve the pain on you is to forgive them,and move on with your own life-its they only way mate-believe me it works.take care.....
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