Gunny376 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I'm about to go ruck out in the ruck-sack, but before I do, I need you comprehend something. Most of you on this fourm are beating yourself up about why the X left you! Most of its got nothing to to with you! It has to do with them! Not you! Their insecurties, their self doubts, their issues, their problems! In so doing? They're casting their problems, their self doubts, thier issues upon you! Making their problems, their issues, their insecurties your own! Quit making thier problems your own! Enough already! Now get up tomorrow morning? Rub some sunshine on your face! Smile and get your happy @zz busy living your Life! That's the "Order Of the Day!" Carry On!
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Gunny is right! At the end of the day, the majority of you on here are all willing to work on any issues your spouse has raised, even if those issues are theirs! The point being, you are willing to do whatever it takes to work on your marriages, it doesn't matter why they have left, they have broken their vows. It says so much more about their character than it does yours. (Yes, I know I should take my own advice!)
Author Gunny376 Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 You didn't fail them? They failed YOU! You didn't quit them! They quit you! They we're the weak ones! Not you! And like all cowards? They blame the weakness on you! The one that stayed, that manned the wall, and stood their ground!
giotto Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I wish it was so easy, Gunny! Relationships are complicated and nothing is ever so black and white, especially if there are children involved... relationships can occupy most of our lives and are not so easy to discard. Even if the relationship goes wrong, you can't forget the good times and that's where is going to hurt the most. Relationships are part of you and killing them is killing part of yourself...
lupa Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 You know what, though? If the other person truly had character, they would go all the way to the end, not cut and run. Remember that, they ran. I have to tell myself that every morning when I wake up alone, but it gets easier.
giotto Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I can only speak for myself, because I decided to stay...
Lizzie60 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I'm about to go ruck out in the ruck-sack, but before I do, I need you comprehend something. Most of you on this fourm are beating yourself up about why the X left you! Most of its got nothing to to with you! It has to do with them! Not you! Their insecurties, their self doubts, their issues, their problems! In so doing? They're casting their problems, their self doubts, thier issues upon you! Making their problems, their issues, their insecurties your own! Quit making thier problems your own! Enough already! Now get up tomorrow morning? Rub some sunshine on your face! Smile and get your happy @zz busy living your Life! That's the "Order Of the Day!" Carry On! This is too simplistic.. It's not quite the way it goes.. in some cases, it IS te BS's fault.. A lot of BS refuses to admit it and only wants to feel better and bury their heads into the sand.. refusing to admit their wrongs.. It is always easier to blame the others.. makes us feel much better..
phineas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 If the BS is actively behaving in a manner that is destroying the marriage, ok. But most of the threads here are concerned with an unhappy wife that leaves & doesn't want to work it out. I really don't see how it's my fault my wife used a dating site to find a boyfriend & cheat on me for 2 yrs. Finding someone else doesn't change the unhappyness she still supposedly felt when around me. And lets be honest, if I was so bad why did she stick around for 2 yrs? She claimed she thought she would loose the kids which is bunk. No court in this land is going to keep a mother from their children unless she puts them in danger. No, I think Gunny's post is most accurate.
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 If the BS is actively behaving in a manner that is destroying the marriage, ok. But most of the threads here are concerned with an unhappy wife that leaves & doesn't want to work it out. I really don't see how it's my fault my wife used a dating site to find a boyfriend & cheat on me for 2 yrs. Finding someone else doesn't change the unhappyness she still supposedly felt when around me. And lets be honest, if I was so bad why did she stick around for 2 yrs? She claimed she thought she would loose the kids which is bunk. No court in this land is going to keep a mother from their children unless she puts them in danger. No, I think Gunny's post is most accurate. Agreed. My point exactly, apparently it took my ex 18 years to decide if he thought we were compatable, he said "when I proposed 8 years ago something didn't feel right, so I stayed, said nothing and hoped it would get better". If I was really that bad he wouldn't have stuck around for 8 years, and we weren't married. He wouldn't have set the date to marry either, he even said "well as I did love you, I wanted it to work out, that's why we had the vicar round", yet he has not tried to work anything out, literally just left! Gave me his reasons (or I should say excuses) AFTER he had gone. Commitment phobe! The point here is that regardless of what the person has or has not done, if you take a vow, you stick around and work it out. Simple as! To walk away says more about them than about you.
phineas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 "Vicar" - that word is so Monty Python's Flying Circus. I love it!
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 "Vicar" - that word is so Monty Python's Flying Circus. I love it! Ok so maybe I should have said minister then as I'm on an American site!
phineas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Ok so maybe I should have said minister then as I'm on an American site! No,no,no!! I actually love the British equivelant of words you use.
Author Gunny376 Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 This is too simplistic.. It's not quite the way it goes.. in some cases, it IS te BS's fault.. A lot of BS refuses to admit it and only wants to feel better and bury their heads into the sand.. refusing to admit their wrongs.. It is always easier to blame the others.. makes us feel much better.. IMHO not really its as simple or as hard as one wants to make it. Much like an abused spouse staying in an abusive relationship? They'll leave it when they make their mind up to do so.
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 No,no,no!! I actually love the British equivelant of words you use. Ok so pavement, mind the gap, knickers, chips, trousers, trainers, LOl Would you like some cockney rhyming slang also?
phineas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Ok so pavement, mind the gap, knickers, chips, trousers, trainers, LOl Would you like some cockney rhyming slang also? that would be sweet. I'm a big Terry Pratchit fan & love cockney in his books. Just don't spell things like color as colour. Now that would be annoying.
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 that would be sweet. I'm a big Terry Pratchit fan & love cockney in his books. Just don't spell things like color as colour. Now that would be annoying. But that is the correct spelling! LOL Ok, an appropriate one first Trouble and Stife Usage "the old trouble and strife is doing my head in" Wife! Irish Jig Wig (hair piece, toupee) Apples and pears Stairs Cream crackered Knackered (tired)
quankanne Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 irish jig – wig – rug. Esp. on men. Back to our regular programming ... Gunny, sir! Thank you for the azz-chewing, sir!
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 irish jig – wig – rug. Esp. on men. Back to our regular programming ... Gunny, sir! Thank you for the azz-chewing, sir! Love your avatar!
quankanne Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 am having a mind-fart, but tell me her character's name again. Mollie Sugden, yes; but I'm thinking "Mr. Humphries," not her character! see what 10 days of vacation ... um, holiday ... does to your brain?
LisaUk Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 am having a mind-fart, but tell me her character's name again. Mollie Sugden, yes; but I'm thinking "Mr. Humphries," not her character! see what 10 days of vacation ... um, holiday ... does to your brain? Mrs. Slocombe (and her pussy!)
Author Gunny376 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 irish jig – wig – rug. Esp. on men. Back to our regular programming ... Gunny, sir! Thank you for the azz-chewing, sir! I wasn't trying to chew any @zz here, but having gone through the Big D, and having been the other side of it for sometime now? And not wanting to go through all of that again, the quickest, fastest, easiest way of going about it is to get yourself a "S*** Happens t-shirt, and bumper sticker and get busy with living your life. I know for a fact? That most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be. And letting go and getting on with your Life can be very empowering. That's what happens in marriage and divorce? You invest so much of yourself into the other person, the relationship, the marriage? You lose yourself. And then one day as your happy @zz is merrily skipping down 'lover's lane' with the sun shinning, and the bluebirds singing ~ and WHAM! In walks the spouse gives your the standard issued "I love you but I'm not in love you speech, (because I've scroggin someone else now!) hands you your @ss and walks out the door. From birth to age 70, we've only got about 25,000 days on the Planet. And we shouldn't be wasting not one of them on someone who they're not worth wasting on. After Prince Phillip died, Queen Victoria was in mourning for thirty years! To me? That's one of the greatest tragedies of divorce? All those wasted years of your youth that you could have been doing something else with someone else that appreciates you.
Author Gunny376 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Mrs. Slocombe (and her pussy!) Why Miss Lisa! I do declare! Such language!
LisaUk Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Why Miss Lisa! I do declare! Such language! LOL :laugh: Did you watch "are you being served?" Gunny?
Author Gunny376 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 LOL :laugh: Did you watch "Are you being served?" Gunny? Actually? One of my favorite shows! Love Brits!
Recommended Posts