8 yr relationship/dumped/6 months later ex wants me back, with baggage..

[speedy009]

I understand totally how you feel re her sleeping with another guy, only you can decide if you can get past that. Re you evening the scroe? Why lower yourself to her level, you were happy to only have slept with her before the split and if you had never split this would have always been the case anyway. Don't change your core beliefs or morals for someone else, be true to yourself.

 

Im sorry that you and your ex didnt work out before. It sucks to feel all alone.

The thing is, I dont see it as getting even anymore. I honestly think that I just need to see what else is out there for me. I love my ex but, sometimes love isnt enough to make people happy together. She made her own opportunity to see if she really wants to be with me and realized that its me that she wants. I THINK i want to be with her forever but dont really know because I dont know what else to compare it with. Everyone on another forum (which has had alot more responses), is saying to forget about her for now and get a life before you commit to her again. An if we both wanted to be together later then i should go for it.

[speedy009]

I think you need to give it another shot.

Relationships go through all sorts of ups and downs and people grow and change. Sometimes, not together.

 

Sounds like she was growing and or changing and needed to be away to figure things out.

In the process, she was experiencing other things in life and realized, she still loves you and wants to be with you.

 

Relationships go through changes and it either makes them stronger or breaks them for good.

 

If you still love her, then you owe it to yourself to slowly reunite with your ex.

 

Take it from a 40 something woman who's been through this a few times.

 

Take her back

 

oh and i need to add, every human on this planet has baggage. It's called life and it builds character

I feel like I have changed alot since she split with me. The thing is that I dont think she would take me back if she was in my position. I feel like I have to go through that process of finding out what I really want for the better or worse. If I want her back after I have seen other people then I know for sure that I will try my very best if we get back into the relatioship. I feel like if I just need to build some character too.

 

I dont have any baggage for her. If she was with other people before me then i wouldnt care. Its just the fact that she left, and came back....I still love her but i dontknow anymore...

[Darth Vader]

Thanks everyone!

 

The only reason why I might have doubts is because to me our 8 year relationship seemed nothing to her if she slept with someone else so quickly.

 

Other people on another forum is telling me to just forget her..cuz she might just do it again..

 

Im so friggin confused now....

 

 

I see where you're coming from. It does seem strange that she could Ride someone else so quickly after being with you for so long! I would forget her! It almost sounds like she did it out of spite to some level, an act of revenge against you for breaking up with her.

 

Like I say, forget her!

[Darth Vader]

Oh and another thing. During the rebound she said all that she could think about was me. She honestly did try to move on but deep down inside it didnt feel right to her. That she really was still in love with me. The guy was "perfect" she says, but she still wanted me....

 

She is not the type to lie at all...so i dunno....

 

Whodey,

 

1) I am still in school and dont really have the funds to spend on a marriage. I told her that after I graduate and find a job I would be ready for anything.

 

2) She told, me she broke it off completely with this guy. She wants me and is waiting for my answer, but she is not rushing me cuz she knows she hurt me badly.

 

Translation: She's wanting or trying to soften the blow!

 

BTW, you havn't slept with her yet, have you? I ask this because it may be possible that she's pregnant with the other guy's baby. Just a possibility. Has she gotten tested for STD's?

[Darth Vader]

None of those reasons is why we split. I explained everything before. we just had a big fight and she couldnt handle it anymore. I totally understand why she did what she had to do, but now I need to decide what I need to do...

 

She couldn't handle it? It sounds more and more like a revenge thing to me.

[mark982]

darth,my feelings exactly. she's wanting to get back together w/you and wants a family. i'd hold off on the sex for awhile,just to aviod any aggravation