mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I am telling you, world, that I am FEED UP with these guys! I have made a pledge that I am off the market today. And today I get a message through MySpace from a certain someone from the past after we have not spoken in how many years since we had a little thing a while back? Let me explain, and I am not overreacting to this ... Three years ago, I had met this man online on Match. We got together a few times, I was just feeling kind of neutral about him. Then, one day he tells me that he had some kind of psychiatric disorder that had caused him to be hospitalized. I was a little wary of this, thinking what would he be like off his meds? So I backed off, then get a rather angry voice mail message from him saying he didn't like being ignored. So I thought to myself "Hang on here, I'm being prejudiced, aren't I? Maybe it's not as bad as it seems, I should give him a chance." So I did. I invited him over for Sunday dinner with me and three other friends. The next day, he calls and breaks it off. No questions asked. I said "Well, if that's the way you feel, then I guess we should go our seperate ways then." He deleted me from his friend list on MySpace soon afterwards. Six months later, out of the blue, I get a friend request from him on MySpace. I accepted it, he said he felt very badly about breaking things off the way he did. I asked why, he said he felt very uncomfortable around my friends and didn't like the fact that we were all smoking. (And we were smoking CIGARETTES, not anything else.) So, I left it at that. Just wasn't meant to be. I bumped into him at a concert during the summer of 07, we chatted for a bit. He said he was engaged to be married now, I said good for him (no really, thinking that he would have something / someone else to occupy his time). He sent me an email through MySpace saying he hoped we could be friends again, and proposed if we could go out for dinner or something some night. I didn't respond to the message immediately, then about 48 hours after I had opened and received this message, he AGAIN deleted me from his friend list. Two months later, I get another friend request from him on MySpace. I said "Forget you!", did not accept it, and simply blocked him. Tonight, a whole TWO YEARS after that, I get this message from him: Hello again. I couldn't help but think of you today as I watched The State on its official DVD release. I was wondering if you picked it up. I'm just glad to have it on DVD, original music or not! Perhaps I made an error in judgement a few years back when I cut off our communication. I'm still around. Things are different, but maybe we can still chat. I can't add you because I have a music page now. If you're interested, please view my page and we'll take it from there. Like I said, things have changed... I don't understand what things have changed and why it is after all this time that he's STILL trying to get back with me! Is he that lonely? Did his marriage fall apart? Needless to say, he hasn't given up on this for some reason. I responded to the message with "No, they haven't", and blocked him again.
carhill Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Do you think you give off a 'rescuer' vibe and attract the nut cases, of which this guy surely is? I sometimes think that we sent out signals which deem us attractive to a certain subset of the population and once in awhile there's a hit amongst that group. Anyway, I guess I can see why women (maybe more so than men) cast a skeptical eye upon the opposite sex. Enough of the experiences like you've described and I'd likely go 'off the market' too.
Els Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 While I do agree that he's a nutcase... 1. There were red flags aplenty in this case. When in your whole history of knowing him did he come across as 'safe'?? 2. Actually I also would not get together with someone who smoked cigarettes and perpetually hangs out with people who do. Mainly because I like to think ahead and I don't like dying earlier than them from lung cancer when it was really their fault. But I certainly wouldn't be such an ass as to suddenly break off all contact and then try to resume it 6 mths later. But since it seems you two were extremely casual then, I don't really see it as that big a crime.
13arkansas Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 He sounds nuts! I am a little worried you'd even be entertaining the thought of him. You should be giving those kinds of messages an instant delete, but not before you've had an uncomfortable 'what a freak' shudder. I think if you did at any point consider meeting up with him or communicating with him after this then you need some serious soul searching about allowing people like this man in to your life!
Author mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 I responded to his message with "No, they haven't", and blocked him again. I am shuddering thinking what a freak he is and why it is after all these years he's STILL trying to contact me again, but I won't take the bait. I'm still in my cave.
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