Wings Of Love Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I've just registered here because I could really use some advice. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any help. =) A little over 5 months ago, my boyfriend left me, saying he didn't love me anymore. We'd been together for 15 wonderful months and although we'd been arguing a bit more than usual, I still have to say it was a huge shock. Literally two days before it happened was our 15 month anniversary, during which he he told me he loved me and begged me never to leave him. Well as you can imagine, I was heartbroken and although I'm not proud of it, I contacted him several times begging for another chance. Eventually he stopped all contact with me...but came crawling back less than a week later saying he couldn't bear to lose me completely. Since then we have been friends and I no longer ask for him back, nor have I told him I still love him. He has had feelings for around 8 girls since we broke up. He had a relationship with one who cheated on him after a week, a relationship with another who basically had nothing to do with him until he broke up with her after a month (he contacted me while I was on holiday to tell me this, and ask me to meet up with him when I got home) and has now been with a third for over two months. She once told him she would leave her boyfriend for him, which she did, but she asked my ex to wait for her while she slept around with other guys. After that he told me he hated her, would always insult her, and yet now they're together and he supposedly adores her. Anyway, he is always the one to contact me first and does so most nights through instant messenger. He is forever complimenting my looks and personality, which I find a bit strange. If he knows I am feeling down he will do whatever it takes to persuade me to tell him and he always tries to help. Every now and then he will add me on facebook or other social networking sites, even though he knows I removed him because it hurt too much seeing him flirting with so many girls. He added me again just last night. I asked why and he said that we're friends, so it doesn't do any harm. I didn't say it, but I'm sure he knows how I feel about him so surely he understands that it hurts to see him declaring his love for his latest girlfriend all the time. We have only seen each other once since we broke up. He asked me to meet him so he could return my door key. I agreed, assuming he'd give it back and we'd go on home. But he asked me to take a walk with him. So we wandered around for a bit, with him staring at me the whole time with a small smile on his face. I asked why he was looking at me and he told me I looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Well we eventually sat down on our local veracity ground and started talking. He had work that evening, and told me he had to go, but also admitted he'd rather have stayed with me than go anywhere. When I told him he had to go, he pulled a face and asked me to meet him again soon. I agreed, but we haven't actually seen each other since. Then he pulled me into a hug, held on for a few minutes and then let me go. As we walked away, we both kept glancing back and smiling, much like we did when we were together. Lastly, I feel I should mention that he has kept photos of other girlfriends on facebook because of the memories, even though he dislikes these girls and has nothing to do with them anymore. But he has deleted every picture of me, except one or two from the holiday we had together. I am the only ex he is still in touch with and yet the pictures of us together and our memories apparently don't mean as much as those of other ex girlfriends. As is probably obvious, I love my ex very much and would love to be with him again. I don't know if it will ever happen though. Without the help of my friends and family I probably would have gone mad by now, but as it is I'm just confused by his behaviour. Is this normal friendly behaviour? Or am I right in thinking it seems like more than that?
New_life Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Wow, first I don't know how have you been holding up. Personally I would be crushed by all of his actions on going out with other people. I can't stand seeing my ex with another guy it burns And kills me, but 3 girlfriends?? I have to stand to the question that has been helping me out, how is he going to miss you if you don't leave? What a jerk of him; I'm sorry but how in onsiderate, if you feel he wants you like before since that time you took a walk, let him go for you! You sound ten millins better than his slutty gfs, so that helps in your advantGe. Don't answer his calls tell him to let you move on!!
Author Wings Of Love Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Oh, he doesn't call me. We only seem to communicate through instant messenger. And it is always him who will initiate a conversation between us. He's very insistent that we remain friends. Several times I've asked him why, because we didn't know each other very long before we got together and after we broke up we did argue a lot. But he just says I'm too amazing to lose completely and that I changed him for the better. He also says he cares about me and my family very much. My older sister is pregnant and the baby was due last Sunday. My ex will often ask about her, and has made me promise to contact him when the baby is born because he's really excited about it. Also, he talks about me and my family as fondly as always, often saying he misses them. He has said before he would love to see them again but he is worried they'll be angry at him for breaking my heart. Oh, I also forgot to mention that not long ago he admitted he has kept everything I gave him over the course of our relationship. If he has made a new start why would he keep things such as teddies, little love notes, christmas cards, birthday cards and valentine's cards? To me that seems a little strange.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I wanna say dependent personality disorder, because he's so ****ing screwed up. But also sounds like borderline pd.
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