Soulmind Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Hello! I've been reading lots of post here and I've found very interesting advices here...please I need one! I'm new here...just guide me! I'm so glad that I've found the best place to vent!. OK.. here is my story. I met this great guy (over the Internet) two months ago, we chatted over one week and decided to give it a go and meet because we were only and hour and a half of distance. He drove to see me. All fabulous from the first second! Sparks flew, great connection, and we decided to go for a meal, then the cinema,he never stopped holding my hand. And I was very happy indeed! After that we went to have a drink...and our date already had been long... after that we went to my flat to continue chatting (I know... I know.. bad move) and after loooong conversation, lots of flirtation and we both knew we liked A LOT each other we kissed...WOW!!! The best kiss for both, and we are not kids! I'm 38 and he is 34. Well, a kiss that lasted more than 2 hours...ok, ok...the lust was there. Was VERY late, and then, he never booked a hotel.. (lame excuse) and I have a spare room. I let him stay and we decided to not make any intimate move that night. (good move). We were smitten. And HE started to rush everything, you know, trying me to know his friends, told his parents about me, talking about being BF and GF already! I said... why not? Lets give it a go! He is different of other guys, never let me pay anything, he cooks all the time, he gives me massages ALL THE TIME and is VERY affectionate!. Well, he returned home, and we agreed to see each other 3 days later. He was texting me, calling me etc... inclusive in moments I thought he was very clingy! He came round and he stayed 3 days! This time we were intimate...and again WOW! We both said the same! All good so far. First month went all like that, me travelling to his place and he coming to mine. Until one day that we had so many things to do that we agreed to meet in two or three weeks time. In the second week without seeing each other (he was texting me daily) one night, my mobile rang... saw his name and I answered sweet.. A female voice was at the other end asking me who I was. I asked the same thing, she said she was my BF's GF and I said I was MY BF's GF OOOOH!!! What was happening here?? She said that he was lying and she was at his house. I asked her that I was wanting to speak to my BF and she tried to wake him up?? And when he answered he couldn't speak??? He sounded drunk though! Well...this woman got very violent on the phone and I hung up. I got worried and called his mother just to check if they could see what was happening at his house. I was worrying that she was a bunny boiler and did something to him... He told me that they split up 4 months ago. I believed him because I've been at his house and meet his friends and DAD?? .OK, his mother texted me to say that all was OK and they were taking him with them (his parents) to their house... that meant...something happened. He called me later, very late, explaining his side of the story (and 4 stories and couldn't understand anything) He even asked me to go and live with him, and obviously I said no! Next day as normal he texting me and I thought to forget about it. She tryed to call me but I rejected the calls. Next weekend at night I texted him (I rarely do that!) Then no answer...then I sent another one...no answer...Uhmm..Next day in the morning I text again...nothing! Very unusual of him! Then I called his mobile work phone.. then...surprise! His dad answered?? I can swear Was my BF!!! But a voice saying was his dad told me he was not available!! WTF??? Then, I called his normal mobile (OK, I know, bad move!) And my call was rejected!. OK, I thought. this is it!!! Then he calls me to ask me if I was alright, and denying any crazy idea that was coming from my mouth. OK, I thought, I trust you. I spoke clear with him that I didn't want to play games he said neither him. OK, All good again... No! He was very aloof with his texts next week! And in one of those he told me he was going to visit me that Friday. OK, good I thought. Then he cancel that Friday morning!! Saying he will come next Saturday morning. I had this sinking feeling in my heart, I couldn't take any more games. (even if he is denying them!) and I broke up with him. He straight away ask me why and to please understand him. He says he loves me and and that nothing is is wrong. OK. He comes on Saturday. We talk, all good, he brings me flowers, cook for me, affectionate etc... even we got drunk together that night having fun in a nice place in town. We enjoyed each other. Next day he needs to leave?? He has to work and he said we'll see each other next weekend. He has been texting me, but for first time, the last two days I've been the initiator. Today FOR FIRST TIME no text at all. I've just sent a text. very friendly to know how his day was. Not answer. Anyway is late and maybe he is asleep. I'll wait until tomorrow. But I WONT send more texts to him. Is all of this sound fishy to you? Am I paranoid? Do you think I'll be better off with out him? Why when I try to get rid of him he jumps and doesn't want? I don't get this!!! THANK YOU FOR READING MY LOOOOONG MESSAGE!! Confused..
Author Soulmind Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Please, if you read any grammar mistakes...just ignore them, I'm from Argentina, and Spanish is my main language! Thanks
Truly Lost Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Oh sweetie...it sounds like he is hiding something. You should never have to feel like you have any doubts about your man's fidelity, and if you do, and your gut is feeling strong about it,...its bad news...guaranteed. My gut has never been wrong...never. He is making you feel like he is not to be trusted because he isn't proactive and staying in touch. Something is definately up. When you get a chance call him out on it. If he fails to make you comfortable, and I mean unquestionably comfortable.....dump him!!! He is bad news and will likely hurt you. People can be selfish. It sounds like perhaps he doesn't know what he wants. Distance is a catalyst for sketchy situations like this to arise, and likely, in this situation, its already brewing...you just don't know the details yet. Sorry. Good luck with all of this. Keep us posted.
Author Soulmind Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Thank you Truly Lost. Your message just reassured what I was thinking. He sent me a text in the morning as I expected apologising that he couldn't answer mine because his battery mobile went flat?? This is not the first time he gives me that excuse... Do you think that is better now not answering that text... or will be better if I don't answer any texts at all??? He seems that he loves me, but, yes I can feel something is going on in the background. He denies everything. That is why in moments I feel I'm just paranoid. I would like to disappear for two days and see his reaction? Because if I try to talk to him or break up with him, he will ask me to please don't. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS GUY! What do you think?
Truly Lost Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Ignoring him for a few days will send the message to him that something is wrong, but it won't solve anything. What you do know right now is something isn't right. Any guy who adores a woman will not play these types of games. He is most likely carrying on with this other woman and trying to cover it up. The signs are all there. Clearly she is suspicious of you too. Its up to you on how long you want to stay in the dark about it. He'll just lie to you if you ask him direct questions about your suspicions because he knows you don't have any proof. I think the best thing is to prepare yourself for severing ties with him and tell him that you think he has someone else in his life. Unless he can make you feel confident that this other person doesn't exist....end it. Time has a way of unveiling a lot of truths, so its just a matter of time that you will find out what is really going on and I don't think at this point it is good for you at all. Actions speak louder than words. Make his actions prove his sincerity to you or tell him to get lost.
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