imhurt Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I ended it with my boyfriend of 5 years 4 days ago. I knew it was going to be tough, but like this? I can't eat, hardly sleep, barely got out of bed today, which I skipped work. It just wasn't working, and he finally agreed with me that it wasn't. So I have not talked to him in 4 days. I am having the hardest time not texting or calling. I kind of wish he would call me. I am having doubts about this decision, is it because the pain is so hard to handle? How long does it last? I don't think I could do this much longer. I wonder how he feels? I think he is doing just fine, since I was having a bad attitude at the end, he probably feels relieved. I miss him though, but I have to remember what it felt like while I was there....ohhhhhhh....what do I dooooo???? this sucks so much, and I know people are getting sick of hearing me cry!!!!!! It doesn't matter now, he agreed it is over, there is no going back! I wish I could, no I don't! Whatttttttt???? Someone just tell me it will be over soon. I don't know what it is, if its because I miss him or what it is!
NiceGuy4Ever Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 It'll still be with you as long as you hold onto it. It's hard to let go of things I personally know, we all know but we have to let go. I can tell you you're better off letting this go because you will get back to your life as it was before, don't be scared because you can't lose what you don't have. Don't think with the mentality that having something is better than having nothing at all because having something halfway is harder than having nothing at all. Do you understand? You have to distract yourself as much as possible, go out with friends, talk to friends and let it all out, exericise, find a new hobby and put away EVERYTHING that reminds you of him whether it be a present he gave you or a heart shaped stand you didn't notice in the corner until now. It's hard but you'll live, just remember everyone goes through this and it always hurts but as the days pass and we distract ourselves with our own lives we lose that feeling slowly until finally one day we're free. That's when we can live life to the fullest again. Hope this helps
Author imhurt Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 thank you...I like to be reminded that it was the right thing and it will get better soon enough:)
Road To Joy Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 This is the worst phase of all. The agonizing pain, the tormenting thoughts. I can keep this short... - It's going to be going on for a little while. - It WILL come to an end, be patient. - When you feel you can't take it anymore, just focus on getting through that day. - When you feel like venting, anything at all, come to LS. - When you feel like breaking NC, come to LS. - We've been there, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. - You WILL get through this, I promise. Just give it time. It does happen that sometimes no matter how much reassurance and attention you're receiving, it doesn't help. Again, in moments like these, just focus on getting through it, not how painful it is. "He that can have patience can have what he will."
broken_promises Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I ended it with my boyfriend of 5 years 4 days ago. I knew it was going to be tough, but like this? I can't eat, hardly sleep, barely got out of bed today, which I skipped work. It just wasn't working, and he finally agreed with me that it wasn't. So I have not talked to him in 4 days. I am having the hardest time not texting or calling. I kind of wish he would call me. I am having doubts about this decision, is it because the pain is so hard to handle? How long does it last? I don't think I could do this much longer. I wonder how he feels? I think he is doing just fine, since I was having a bad attitude at the end, he probably feels relieved. I miss him though, but I have to remember what it felt like while I was there....ohhhhhhh....what do I dooooo???? this sucks so much, and I know people are getting sick of hearing me cry!!!!!! It doesn't matter now, he agreed it is over, there is no going back! I wish I could, no I don't! Whatttttttt???? Someone just tell me it will be over soon. I don't know what it is, if its because I miss him or what it is! I could have written this. I'm in the same situation where I was the first to bring up the fact that I thought we were breaking up and he agreed it wasn't working. The pain and wanting to call and wanting him to call... ugh. It is just torture. And yes, I also feel/know he is relieved to be without me and that is certainly painful as well. We were together for 3-1/2 years and it has been 3 weeks now of NC. I can't say it is getting easier. I guess it just takes time. The reality though is that going back is just not an option so the only thing you can do is feel the feelings, try to focus on how to better yourself, and eventually you come through the other side. The thing that helps me is remembering that I have felt this same way when my other long-term relationships have broken up and I got over them as well.
Author imhurt Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 It now has been 4 full days of NC. Not getting any easier. I can't sleep eat or work. I initiated the break, but he did agree, does that make me the dumpee or dumper? If I am the dumper, is it still not okay to contact him? He might not even want to hear from me anyways, that would be 10 times worse than just plain old NC and having no idea what he is feeling. aye, it will get better, right?? RIGHT?? I just want him to see things my way too, but I really think he wants it over too....which I do too if he doesn't atleast get my point and try to see it my way, not necessarily bend to me, but I did everyting he wanted, we were together for 5 years...he told me after I left that I was his life. I think he is moving on, since he had more time to recover, because he must of seen it coming. He always said it would never end....but now! They say if you love each other, or if he loves me, he will come back...should I tell him I want to try again?? I really don't know. I think if I am rejected it would be so much harder. I need some help seriously!
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