adream Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I know how you would have felt when she disgusted you... Take one decision and after that there shouldn't be any turning back because you will be making yourself even more confuse... I prefer saying that you should go away from her completely...
Darth Vader Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 funny you should mention that, cuz thats where I live:o AH HA! Well now, that explains it right there! I knew that I was right about men that fight for custody in most cases get the children, which is only about 10% of the time! It's just not in Illinois that that rings true! Now I see where your lawyer's coming across, I've also heard that the crooked laws there about divorce and custody are uncontested. Makes me wonder why they havn't been challenged!BTW, I ain't laughing! Sheesh! No wonder you're PISSED! Yeah, I remember hearing about that twisted, crooked state where men are screwed just for having an appendage between their legs from a guy who came on the Sep. Divorce section quite a few months back, I wonder how he's doing.
Darth Vader Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Illinois...yup, you bet. we argued for shared custody 50% time. She wouldn't have any of it....although when it was all said and done she was more than happy to tell me that I could have 50% time so she could have her alone time with her new jobless man. She just wanted legal custody and wanted it on paper...she was glad to offer up letting them stay with me so she wouldn't have them all the time. 50% time wouldn't have gotten her child support.....go figure. Looks like she only wanted to be the custodial parent in the eyes of the court. so much for a father being just as important to the child as the mother:o And nothing is ever done about these crooked Bitches!? No wonder you're REALLY PISSED!
Dexter Morgan Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 AH HA! Well now, that explains it right there! I knew that I was right about men that fight for custody in most cases get the children, which is only about 10% of the time! It's just not in Illinois that that rings true! Now I see where your lawyer's coming across, I've also heard that the crooked laws there about divorce and custody are uncontested. Makes me wonder why they havn't been challenged!BTW, I ain't laughing! Sheesh! No wonder you're PISSED! Yeah, I remember hearing about that twisted, crooked state where men are screwed just for having an appendage between their legs from a guy who came on the Sep. Divorce section quite a few months back, I wonder how he's doing. my lawyer said that telling a judge that she was unfaithful won't get me my kids, and that unless I have something on her in the area of drugs or abuse, then since I have a d!ck, I won't get custody. All that would happen, he said, would be I'd spend alot of my money to pay him, which would leave me very little to enjoy my children with. was told to save my money, and if she f##ks up in the future, to come back and THEN we'll go for custody. but until I have something more than an educated guess on what she is doing with the new man, I have nothing to use to get my kids. So I'm waiting...patiently.
sally4sara Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 my lawyer said that telling a judge that she was unfaithful won't get me my kids, and that unless I have something on her in the area of drugs or abuse, then since I have a d!ck, I won't get custody. All that would happen, he said, would be I'd spend alot of my money to pay him, which would leave me very little to enjoy my children with. was told to save my money, and if she f##ks up in the future, to come back and THEN we'll go for custody. but until I have something more than an educated guess on what she is doing with the new man, I have nothing to use to get my kids. So I'm waiting...patiently. Weird that things might be this way in Illinois while my ex roomie won custody of his son in Ohio, right next door, without having to determine the mother unfit. Was your ex wife a SAHM or part time SAHM? SAH parents of either gender keep the kids damn near always unless they have shown to have become negligent in the year prior to the custody decision. They generally don't pay attention to anything further in the past than a year unless it is HUGE.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Was your ex wife a SAHM or part time SAHM? SAH parents of either gender keep the kids damn near always unless they have shown to have become negligent in the year prior to the custody decision. They generally don't pay attention to anything further in the past than a year unless it is HUGE. It doesn't matter what she was, but if you must know she worked a full time job.
sally4sara Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 It doesn't matter what she was, but if you must know she worked a full time job. It might not matter in YOUR state, but it commonly does in many others. This factor can make in very difficult for the OP to gain full custody in the first year. OP, if the kid ends up being your kid, get as much visitation as you can in the first year. They don't take infants from mothers unless drug/alcohol use is happening (factors into breast feeding). Document everything. Take pictures of the kid and the condition of it's clothes when ever possible. Be very involved in doctor visits. Let the staff know your number is an emergency contact at the doc's office as well as any daycare service. Maintain all contact with the mom via email and text for record. After the first year, go for more or full custody.
Darth Vader Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 my lawyer said that telling a judge that she was unfaithful won't get me my kids, and that unless I have something on her in the area of drugs or abuse, then since I have a d!ck, I won't get custody. All that would happen, he said, would be I'd spend alot of my money to pay him, which would leave me very little to enjoy my children with. was told to save my money, and if she f##ks up in the future, to come back and THEN we'll go for custody. but until I have something more than an educated guess on what she is doing with the new man, I have nothing to use to get my kids. So I'm waiting...patiently. Dex, it seems that you're just waiting for her to screw up, like you know something is not on the up and up with her, or that she's the the kind of person (you would know this) that sooner or later she's gonna mess up really badly! Perhaps you've had your suspisions! Better listen closely to your children in case you're right about her!
Dexter Morgan Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Dex, it seems that you're just waiting for her to screw up, like you know something is not on the up and up with her, or that she's the the kind of person (you would know this) that sooner or later she's gonna mess up really badly! I fully expect it.....telling that to a judge with no proof is useless. She has, in the past, and I highly suspect now, smoked pot, and my suspicion is the new guy has her doing coke. Trust me, I ask my oldest son all the time, in a subtle way, about happenings in the house. If she is doing what I suspect, she is smart enough to keep their eyes away from it.
Darth Vader Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I fully expect it.....telling that to a judge with no proof is useless. She has, in the past, and I highly suspect now, smoked pot, and my suspicion is the new guy has her doing coke. Trust me, I ask my oldest son all the time, in a subtle way, about happenings in the house. If she is doing what I suspect, she is smart enough to keep their eyes away from it. Who says they even have to see it? The smell alone reaks like something you will never forget, no, I never did that, but, let's just say I knew of some people who did! The smell's unmistakeable, and makes one sick! Perhaps you can ask him if he ever smelled anything out of the ordinary that resembles cigarettes, but, is much more sickening!
abouttoloseit Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 This thread has gone off track a little. I hope the guy doesn't turn out to be the father. He seems a nice guy, and imho, nice guys finish last. I'm one of them. Your ex is a slut. Im 26 and had 3 partners in my life, Im awesome in bed, Im no prude. My ex had a ****ed up past - sex, drug abuse and an abortion. 17 guys before her 17th birthday. Cheap sex and drunken one night stands. She was 21 when I met her, god knows what that number was by then. I hope you are not the father, cos you seem like a nice guy and had I heard about my gf doing the things ur ex did, I would hit the roof. Cept my ex flirted with all the guys, and kept in touch with ex boyfriends after I asked her not to. She was a skanky slutty bitch that didn't think of anyone but herself.
Hkizzle Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 If you're not sure it's your child have you considered a DNA test? If she's lied about other stuff you should really get a test before you end up emotionally bonded to and raising a child that's not even yours.
Chubbi Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 How did you get her pregnant by accident? What does that mean? Surely, you've learned your lesson by now- for your own protection, please make and ask the necessary questions. Don't go into battle without armor. And think, well if this condom breaks, I should ask if she's taking birth control. As you can see, when you don't protect yourself, other people can control and use you. This isn't your fault but she could also have been sexually abused at one point in her life- it'll come out in situations like this. I'm not saying I know her- I just tend to look at people as more than come and go sl**, but that's just how I am. Even still, you should move on and get your respect back.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 This thread has gone off track a little. I hope the guy doesn't turn out to be the father. He seems a nice guy, and imho, nice guys finish last. I'm one of them. yes, totally off track, partly my fault. I hope he isn't the father either. Last thing a guy like this needs is some kind of tie to a cheating huss like this. But if he is the father, he needs to take care of the child and be part of his/her life. That is what a nice and decent man does. But not just because it is the right thing to do, but because he would know there is a child that is his. I couldn't EVER leave a child not knowing him/her, and knowing I am not taking care of them. I'd want to be a part of their life...a HUGE part.
MichiganMan222 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I would bet big money that women and men cheat equally. Seems easier with technology. You can chat with the OM/OW while your SO is sitting in the same room anymore; you can talk to them on the drive to and from work, texting, etc. Constant contact. On the otherhand, technology has also made it easier to CATCH a cheater. Email/chat/cell logs, GPS, pinhole cameras, etc.
Ivette Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Being a good husband and being a good father thats like saying if im bad at playing chess, am i bad at driving my car? If the kid is yours, dont victimize it with your EMO-crap If you hate your wife/gf, thats why theres divorce in the world, you just kinda jumped the gun or marriage get it straight, these are two different questions youre dealing with here. you should consider them separately.
Recommended Posts