My name is ED Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Thanks again everyone in this site, i have learned a lot just by reading some of your guys responses and thoughts. A lot of talk has been done and a lot of screaming over a satellite phone has been done Conclusion for now and well it's the best so far, actually the only one that i will agree to is this. She is sorry about everything now, but i say its to late she made me look like a fool in a lot of peoples eyes and i didn't know a lot of things because im here in Iraq (im almost done by the way ) Well she said that she was sorry she hurt me that she didn't see how it would affect us, i laughed and said "wow" well i said this is simple, the baby is mine i will pay child support thats it, and i will be part of his life im not going to not want to see my own son, two she's not getting everything she asked, theres no way i talked to a lawyer and she said that it was not happening, that she can ask all she wants and that even seeing it in her lawyers eyes she's just being stupid. So i told the wife that and she said ok. And this is what she's going to do. when i get back in mid to late September the baby would of already been born, and she would of already done the DNA test and we would just wait for the results and if the baby Is mine simple i pay child support, and we move on, we get divorced and she moved out. If the baby is Not mine she moves out and well i don't pay child support and well she has to go and look for the 3 other guys that might be the father, holy S**t this sounds like something out of a book or a movie , sadly its all true and it hurts a little. Now this is what she said to me, she said she was sorry that i'm the world to her and i said "yes because you have no where to go, and if your parents find out they probably won't take you in their house" and she cried because its true her parents are strict about a lot of things. So now all im waiting... just waiting i already sent the paper work to get her power of attorney take away i called the bank and took her name of the account so she doesn't have access to it. I have done everything possible to make things work but its not going to be as smooth as i thought but it'll get calm sooner or later i'm thinking of getting back and volunteering for another tour to Iraq. Just getting away, She says im just running away from my problems, but can you guys blame me? Im not going to just let it go and pretend nothing happened. So thats what i have planned. I don't think im being that bad of a person to her at all, i think im just doing whats right, Im sorry ladies, moms, sisters or step children of someone, i have a step dad and he knew what he was getting into when he married my mother because we were like 2-4years old so he knew she had kids, but this is different im not going to raise someone else's baby when I've waited for months, when I've stayed up thinking about how great its going to be to have my own little boy who i will raise, someone that will look up to me and be just like me and then its like sorry its not yours i don't know who's it is but i still want to stay married because the other guys is a dead beat who works at a gas station and smokes pot all the time or some other guy she met at a club and then went home with. I will not do it that way, if she had him already it would be different but its not to late now you know... I'm sorry im rambling on and on i don't think im making any sense but if you understood and have read the previous post and know whats going on hopefully i sort of explained my actions and well let me know if you think im doing wrong, i think im doing the best thing, even the lawyer i got thinks i can pursue more, that i can get more out of this, but what am i going to get? she doesn't have nothing i want anymore, so i just want the whole thing to die down and go away and that tomorrow i will wake up and i won't feel sad thinking that while im here overseas my life, my real life is being slowly falling apart back in the states. So i think thats what should be done. What you think? good?
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I haven't seen your previous posts, and first off I'm very sorry for your situation. I have a good friend who did a tour as a JAG in Iraq, and he said the largest part of his time was spent doing divorces for soldiers whose wives were screwing around on them; an extremely sad and pathetic state of affairs. I think you're making the right choices. At least, I think I'd be following the same course, were I you. Good luck, and keep your head down.
lkjh Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Dude, you are doing the right thing. If the baby is yours support him and be a father but that doesn't mean you have to keep her as a wife. I read your story and she is not marriage material.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I for one think your doing the right thing? Why the F is she so self destructive. Surely this had nothing to do with you? Three men and she dont know who the father is?? WTF? I'd say get the DNA test and be done with it. If it aint yours leave her alone and forget her. she doesnt deserve you. and your better off.
Author My name is ED Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Why the F is she so self destructive. Surely this had nothing to do with you? I'm sure it had nothing to do with me, i mean i gave her everything she could ask for and want, sex was good, we had a great time together, we were perfect almost i guess you can say. Idk what happened, we find out im leaving to Iraq and everything gets out of control. Maybe it was because i left?
Athena Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Well she said that she was sorry she hurt me that she didn't see how it would affect us,[/Quote] Well, clearly she had no real remorse for cheating on you... she wanted to ef some other men and she did that and now she is berating you by saying she doesn't see how it would affect the two of you? Wow... what she did affects the two of you because a marriage is a partnership based on Trust, and by doing what she did, she has broken that trust, and thereby damaged your relationship! If the baby is Not mine she moves out and well i don't pay child support and well she has to go and look for the 3 other guys that might be the father, holy S**t this sounds like something out of a book or a movie , sadly its all true and it hurts a little.[/Quote] Sorry to hear of your wife's actions hurting you so much -- I am sure you would never have expected such betrayal and contempt possible from your bride on your wedding day. Of course you are hurting. Now this is what she said to me, she said she was sorry that i'm the world to her and i said "yes because you have no where to go, and if your parents find out they probably won't take you in their house" and she cried because its true her parents are strict about a lot of things. So now all im waiting... just waiting i already sent the paper work to get her power of attorney take away i called the bank and took her name of the account so she doesn't have access to it. (...) So thats what i have planned. I don't think im being that bad of a person to her at all, i think im just doing whats right, (...) [/Quote] She seems to have threatened you but you called her bluff by seeing a lawyer and taking your W off your bank accounts, etc.... you know what? If her parents kick her out, so be it -- that's for HER to sort out, since Consequences of her actions will be her Best Teacher. Let her feel the consequences. Im sorry ladies, moms, sisters or step children of someone, i have a step dad and he knew what he was getting into when he married my mother because we were like 2-4years old so he knew she had kids, but this is different im not going to raise someone else's baby when I've waited for months, when I've stayed up thinking about how great its going to be to have my own little boy who i will raise, someone that will look up to me and be just like me and then its like sorry its not yours i don't know who's it is but i still want to stay married because the other guys is a dead beat who works at a gas station and smokes pot all the time or some other guy she met at a club and then went home with. I will not do it that way, if she had him already it would be different but its not to late now you know...I think you are being fair. And I agree, if you married her knowing she already had a baby or a child that would be one thing, but for your wife to CHEAT on you and have her OM's baby is quite a different thing altogether! She has betrayed you, and for her cheating alone, you can walk out of this marriage. I'm sorry im rambling on and on i don't think im making any sense but if you understood and have read the previous post and know whats going on hopefully i sort of explained my actions and well let me know if you think im doing wrong, i think im doing the best thing, even the lawyer i got thinks i can pursue more, that i can get more out of this, but what am i going to get? So i think thats what should be done. What you think? good? I think you are making sense and are doing what you can to survive. I do no think you are doing any wrong, by you or by her -- she needs to see this through and make sure she learns her lesson well, so she doesn't feel the need to repeat her betrayal to the next man she has. You need to protect yourself as best as you can. You never asked her to deceive you.
lostsunsets Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Read the whole thread.......WHAT A SKANK. Dude, you are so incredibly lucky. I don't think its yours. Not if you were away on maneuvers for two weeks. WOW. I can't believe how loose she is. You are so lucky. Be thankful that you don't have 4 kids with her. Bring her a dozen roses and a "thank the skank" card. For showing her true colors so soon after you were married.
tami-chan Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I hope the baby is NOT yours, so you can just be free of her...from her...no ties..nothing...and you can move on and go find yourself someone worthy of you. I think you are kind to her but still doing or at least, planning to do the right thing. Take care. Be safe and come home!
Author My name is ED Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Athena thanks, you are right see if maybe one just ONE incident had happened not all what she calls "mistakes" she made then it would be a lot different but yeah i didn't ask to be cheated on and lied to and played like a fool when i got married, slowly but surely im getting better and well it looks like my best my ONLY option is regardless of the baby being mine or not, i have to get rid of her. I loved her once but she ruined that as you all can see haha and now its time for her to be thought her lesson like you said.
Author My name is ED Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Tami-chan, im almost done with my tour and i'll be home in September if everything goes right. thanks for the hopeful wishing of the baby not being mine, trust me i hope and pray that its not mine every day, not because i don't want a son but because i think that for whats going on with us, it would be the right thing for now. well i hope you understand what i mean. Thank you. -ED
Heroic Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Hey, I appreciate that you have elected to serve your country, but do not head back to harms way because of some skank ho. Come back, make a new life for yourself.
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