1on Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 i never been in love or with man before i met him at my age 26. when i knew him, he havent married. he said that he love me, dont know why i fell in love with him. he is the only one n only man who took my first kiss n everything. aft few months he told me he getting married, he even invited me. i came to his wedding n help him on his wedding ceremony, thats the first time i know his wife. his parents n his brother like me, they said that i'm their family. my mum know him, when she come to visit me. She think that he is a brother to me, n turnout my mum really treat him like her son. i only had one elder sister, n he had one elder brother; so that what people think we are brother n sister. i wanted to be brother n sister relationship with him after his wedding. but everything couldnt work as i wanted to be. its getting messy n i am in deeply maddly in love with him. he told me that i am his true love, he even knee down with a diamond ring, even said that i am his wed wife. i wear the ring everyday. i call him Daddy, n call his wife Mummy. i wouldnt ask him to leave his wife, cause i know the answer is NO. he told me that i was come too late, if he saw me first i will be the only one; and i know is just BS cause i know he had lot of girl friend before me. he even told me if a man can leave his wife for the mistress, u should think twice cause it might happen the same thing again. we really in love, i got pregnant twice n i did the abortion twice; cause i dont want my parents or my friend to know this affair. cause in front of them i am the girl who doesnt love man. His wife doesnt even had been pregnant before. i am with him for almost 4 years, n i think his wife got feeling that i had affair with him. she know me thru the wedding, i even know her mother. so what a complicated relationship i had. my emotion n spirit split by two, i know i was wrong but on the other side of me i dont want to be alone. i was move to other country where my parents n friends are not with me, the only person i had is just him. but he always not available for me, as he got his wife n his business; so sometimes i feel being ignore or dump. i lied to everyone, i told them that i dont want to get married, but the true is i am in love with him and to me he is my husband. he confirm it by saying i am his wife, even his brother know our relationship, n when meet his friends sometimes he introduce me as his wife. sometimes i feel bad or quilty and ask him "am i a bad girl?" he said NO that i am his wife, its only a paper different between me n his legal wife. a man can have more than one wife. he got 5 words for me "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" i want to end this relationship, cause i know that everyone will blame the 3rd person and there will be no wedding bell for me, unless the wife is DEAD. he told me if got someone that i like, i can leave him anytime; but he will love me forever. the only in my mind is that "does he really love me?" or i am just a foolish girl that he play off. i always ask him this question "who am i?" n his answer "u are my wife" love is NOT blind, love doesnt mind please advice me! is he really my true love? thankyou
quankanne Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 if he is, you got a bum deal, kiddo! first off, a man can NOT have more than one wife, only choose to fook more than one person at a time. and that's where he brings you in. If he loves you as much as he claims, he wouldn't be using you this way OR psychologically playing these games with you ... he'd give you up because he understands what he has to offer is not good or healthy for you, him being a married man. I honestly believe that should you decide to extricate yourself from this situation, you'll find the man you're meant to love, instead of waiting for this guy's leftover attention. You deserve way better than what he is offering you.
Author 1on Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 thanks quankanne for ur advice i really wish that i can pull myself out from this relationship, but if i do that i lose everything; while he lose nothing. thats not fair, why i must be the only one suffer. i feel hurt, cry alone, no one will stand beside me. if i keep standing in this relationship, at least i am not "alone". i'm scare to be alone, feeling lonely, sometimes its make me think that nobody will cry for me if i die. until i want to end my life. i need friend, but i dont have. i dont have a true friend, where i can cry on n hug me tell me that i'm not alone.
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 This is not life, you are not living. You have put yourself into the role of an accessory , and option in part of someone else's life. There is so much more to life than this. You have to walk away from him completely. It will be hard and will hurt but thats the only way you can begin to recover...and after that start living the life that is yours.
greengoddess Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 You have no other friends because you are not living a genuine life. You have held onto a huge lie for 4 years and have kept your real self from everyone. You have to be the real you and live a real life. A truthful honest life and then friends will come. Dump this poor excuse for a man, tell his wife the truth, she deserves to know what she is marrried to. Hold your head up high afterwards for being honest for once in four years and begin to live again. Curious, what is the age difference between you and him?
sugarmomma Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 He is totally playing you because he knows that your're vulnerable and may have some self esteem issues. You need to get in counseling as soon as possible to dig into your issues. Please stop seeing him. He is not good for you and does not love you.
stillafool Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 You will not lose anything by leaving this MM alone. You will gain so much more. You will find a guy who can love you the way you want to be loved. This MM can never give you what you want and that's why he says if you find someone else you are free to be with him. I don't know how old you are but it would be a good idea for you to get into school and you will not only learn but it will open you up to new people and new ideas.
Author 1on Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 thank you all for ur words, its bring support to me. he is older than me 5years, now i am 30years. i had try to leave him before, but end up i cant hold my self back still end up with him. i work full time n i had take study 2 years ago, trying to focus my self on other things; but it doesnt work it that i wanted to be; end up i failed my exam cause cant stop thinking of him. i had one girlfriend, i told her abt this, she told me that she doesnt want to be a friend with a girl that had relationship with married man; cause she is married. i can understand what she feel, but its hurt me a lot. so i keep a distance with her now. i also dont want to be the bad girl, the third party that people always hated. i ask my self why why why but i still cant find the answer why i love him so much. is there any recipe to hate someone that u love? or any posion that can make me forgot everything? i try to bang my head few times but it doesnt work, my mind still stuck on him.
stillafool Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 The only way you can start to forget him is to have "no contact" with him and start dating other men. If you work for this guy you need to find another job. It sounds like he is using you. He knows he can never give you a respectable life by marrying you so he calls you his wife anyway to keep you hanging on. I thought you were younger than 30 and therefore you have no more time to waste on someone else's husband. You may want to marry and have a family of your own. He has already selfishly taken too many years of your youth. Get away from this guy before you look around and you are 40 and alone.
Author 1on Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 currently i No Contact with him, he is oversea for 10days. last time i meet him is on last monday, we only had dinner aft that he back to his office. he too busy building up his new business, but me too free n no friend thats why i keep thinking of him. we havent had sex more than 2mths now. he called me before he fly off on last wednesday, may be because i msg him. aft that he havent msg or call me again. lately we didnt see each other that often, coz his just starting up his business aft he got lost on his business. i am the one who put him up when he is down n stress, motivated him to start new thing, so he did that so here comes these new business setup. i used to help him out in his business, but for this business i didnt cause i found out that his wife now often checking in to his office, so i back off. His wife suspect me, but no evidence. is not his wife who make him stand up again, it was me. i did what wife suppose to be. i can be no contact with him, but the problem is i cant get rid of him in my mind. when he call me, i will jump quickly pick up the phone so happy cause no one ever call me. anyone having same relationship with me falling in love with married man? please tell me how to get out of it n move on?
Recommended Posts