patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Guys... would really appreciate your input on this. Let me know if you'd pick girl 1 or girl 2... and why. Thanks! I met girl 1. She's really funny and witty. Only thing is there is no sweet bone in her. She's not very affectionate. But whenever she senses me pull away, she'll be affectionate. So everyone knows there is something between me and her and that I do like her. I was feeling hopeless about girl 1, and I know she's not letting go of another girl who has a crush on her. We're not exclusive. So I can't really say much about her crush, but Girl 1 says she doesn't like the crush like that... regardless they are still very much in touch with each other. Girl 2 comes into the picture. She had a crush on me. I'm not sure if she still does, since she found out about me and Girl 1. Anyway, I'm starting to like her, too as she's affectionate and is always inquiring about how I'm doing and is very attentive towards me. She tends to be more intense and sensitive than Girl 1 though. 2 VERY different girls, and there is something I like about both of them. I'm pretty sure that if I make it known that I want to get to know both of them that I'll lose both. So I've decided to date 1 at a time. When I pick one, I'll definitely be losing the other one. What do you guys think?
Thaddeus Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Girl 2, no contest. Girl 1 is more interested in playing games, as evidenced byBut whenever she senses me pull away, she'll be affectionate.
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I've got to go with girl #2. I like affection, and it sounds like she's into you. #1's heart is elsewhere, but she's willing to throw you a bone when she senses that you're pulling away. Easy choice.
Sam Spade Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Definitely, definitely pick girl # 2. I didn't even read carefully about her, but after reading the description of girl # 1, i say fuggetabout her. You don't want an unaffectionate girl in your life, trust me . I don't know what you mean by "intense" about the 2nd girl, but as long as she's not a clingy mess, you'll be better off with her long term. But, it's just me, plus it depende on how old are you etc. I'd take the cute motherly type over the hip socialite type every day of the week.
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Intense as in hm... Girl 1 is very easy going and likes to joke around. Girl 2 will get into topics like childhood dreams, what I'm passionate about, etc.... 2 VERY different girls like you guys have no idea. Girl 1 will always make me smile in a way I'm going "Oh no. she didn't!" Girl 2 will make me smile in a "aw. That is so sweet." way. I believe girl 2 wears her heart on her sleeve whereas with girl 1, her heart is under lock and key.
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I don't know yet. I'm getting input from you guys so I can detach my feelings and make a more clear choice.
Stark Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Depends on what you want. #1 for fun or #2 for a proper relationship. #1 is not relationship material and #2 might get hurt if it was just fun.
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Based on what little I have to go on, my prediction is that if you go for #1, she'll break your heart. But life's a crapshoot, to a large extent. Only you know what it is you want.
Lyssa Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Patcha, I've been following your threads and frankly speaking, I don't quite like G#1. She seems to be playing games with you. I'd go with G#2 cause she seems to care and really into you. Follow your instincts, girl!
Stark Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Like I said previously, what is it you are aiming for? What do you want with either?
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I have poor instincts! I don't trust them whatsoever! I'm not in it for the fun. Just someone I can trust my heart and life with. I guess more info. is in order. I haven't picked one yet. It's going to take me a week just to sort everything out and try to detach my feelings from the choice. I was trying to get over Girl 1 last weekend, b/c I couldn't handle her indifference anymore. And when I did pull away, she came to care for my sick baby brother the whole weekend! Girl 2 did the same. My baby brother loves them both. I do feel like Girl 1 is playing some serious push/pull game with me. Girl 2 has taken a step back after learning about me and Girl 1. Sometimes she's even mean to me now. *sigh* But I can tell that she still harbors some romantic feelings for me. Girl 1 is a definite heart breaker. She's told me she's never had it broken. Girl 2 has told me she's had it broken several times. If they were just a little similar, I may have an easier time at this, but they're not at all it seems. Girl 1 has someone who really likes her, and Girl 2 has someone who also really likes her. Sometimes I feel like I should let them go towards someone who is better than me. Oh and since I met and liked Girl 1 first, somehow I feel like I'm cheating!
Sam Spade Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Tell girl 1 to bug off . Then take girl 2 on a date. Hit her with some steak, then with some wine, then with some chocolate, then with you penis, then live happily ever after with her .
Thaddeus Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I don't trust them whatsoever!Then maybe you're not ready for a relationship with either one of them. Just sayin...
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Def. not a relationship at this point. I want to see which one I should spend time getting to know more. And when I make that choice, I will definitely be losing one of them. Also, how do you guys think I should handle girl 1 from now on then?
Stark Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I have poor instincts! I don't trust them whatsoever! I'm not in it for the fun. Just someone I can trust my heart and life with. Girl #1 is not even in the running for that option if thats the case. If she cannot open herself up to you and not be affectionate, you will have no relationship. Also, even if she does open herself up to you, she's going to change as a person and you've not seen that person yet, you've only seen the "positive social side " which is be funny/intelligent and charming, which are all positive qualities that anybody can do. I was trying to get over Girl 1 last weekend, b/c I couldn't handle her indifference anymore. And when I did pull away, she came to care for my sick baby brother the whole weekend! Girl 2 did the same. My baby brother loves them both. I do feel like Girl 1 is playing some serious push/pull game with me. Girl 2 has taken a step back after learning about me and Girl 1. Sometimes she's even mean to me now. *sigh* But I can tell that she still harbors some romantic feelings for me. Thats because she's playing games. She gives you enough attention and affection to keep you interested, but not enough that you're satisfied. You're always going to want more. More games. Girl 1 has someone who really likes her, and Girl 2 has someone who also really likes her. Sometimes I feel like I should let them go towards someone who is better than me. I would go with girl #2. Girl #2 has positive qualities as well, and she won't always be just sweet. You'll find the sweet ones grow as they feel more comfortable with you and eventually get to become like girl #1 but also herself as well. So yes, i would really say girl #2. The only reason you're leaning to girl #1 is because she's playing games, and thats the way the games are made to make you feel, elsewise there would be no point in playing them.
Lyssa Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Tell girl 1 to bug off . Then take girl 2 on a date. Hit her with some steak, then with some wine, then with some chocolate, then with you penis, then live happily ever after with her . I don't think that part is going to work!
Kamille Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 There's so much going on here! First, you say you've been seeing girl 1 longer. Any chance you could ask her where she sees the relationship going as a way to inform your decision making? it sounds like you two might incompatible when it comes to displaying affection anyway, but maybe you could try talking with girl 1 to see what you two have in common. Also, you say girl 2 is more intense then girl 1. Again, this is hard to ascertain from a website, but it could simply be because girl 2 is actually interested in you and wants to create a sense of intimacy. Who knows, if you pick her and the two of you end up in a relationship, she might lighten up. So, I don't actually have a choice. I find the situation to be a lot more ambiguous then most posters here seem to believe. How long has the push-pull been going on with girl 1?
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I don't think that part is going to work! I thought that was funny, too! Also, you say girl 2 is more intense then girl 1. Again, this is hard to ascertain from a website, but it could simply be because girl 2 is actually interested in you and wants to create a sense of intimacy. Who knows, if you pick her and the two of you end up in a relationship, she might lighten up. So, I don't actually have a choice. I find the situation to be a lot more ambiguous then most posters here seem to believe. How long has the push-pull been going on with girl 1? It is complicated to me, since I'm in the situation and am not able to see it clearly. That's why I wanted to you guys' take on things. I met girl 1 before I met girl 2. Actually, girl 1 approached me. I did notice Girl 2 around but didn't really do anything, since I thought she was unavailable. Girl 1 came out of the blue. And as time progressed, I began to really like her, b/c she's funny and charming. Other than that though, I can't seem to get to her more sensitive side... not sure if she even has one at this point. When I'm sweet with her, she'll just joke it off somehow. When I was pulling away from Girl 1, Girl 2 approached me. That was a surprise. At the time, I was sick and so was kind of delusional. So I thanked her for trying to cheer me up and went on my way. Then Girl 2 started hanging out around my friends, and I started noticing her more. I found out that she had a crush on me, but that was a while ago. So things may have changed by now. All of a sudden, Girl 1 is a little more attentive. She said that she had a crush on me but was pulling away, because she thought I wasn't interested. I was really happy about that, but then again, I still can't get her to be sweet whatsoever. She's always joking around! I actually don't know what Girl 2 must be thinking, since I'm 99% sure she knows there's something between me and Girl 1. At this point, if I were to choose Girl 2, I would have to completely drop Girl 1. Well, I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling. I hope that info. was more helpful.
Trialbyfire Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 No offense patcha but it sounds like you're doing exactly what girl #1 is doing, juggling the two of them, so I don't think anyone has a right to condemn #1 for her games. patcha, I don't think either one is right for you and for that matter, if you have major trust issues with BOTH, time to examine why you do. People tend to judge others by what they're capable of doing. It's why many cheaters are highly jealous and possessive, not saying that you're capable of cheating but it's an example of such. Of course people who have been cheated on, lean towards distrust as well, but some get over it, while others distrust for life.
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I hope that info. was more helpful. More info always helps, but my advice stands: #2.
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 lol. i know GT. Oh. I meant I didn't trust my instincts. Not that I didn't trust these 2 girls.
Kamille Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Honestly? To me, it doesn't sound like girl 1 isn't playing games, more that the two of you are not compatible when expressing emotions. i'm like girl 1 in a lot of ways: I express my emotions through jokes. Or I diffuse intensely romantic situations with jokes. My ex ex used to get upset about that. He accused me of not being romantic and not having a sweet side, which completely surprised me as I am quite the romantic in my book. Then I met a man who expressed emotions the same way I did and who got my jokes (we didn't last for completely unrelated reasons, but at least it confirms there was nothing wrong with me, like my ex liked to believe. I also suspect there is nothing wrong with girl 1). My ex also met someone who shared his idea of intimacy. So one of the question I have to ask is this: can you accept to be in relationship with girl 1 as she is, not as you would like her to be?
Author patcha Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 that is a good question! and i don't know. i've never met someone who was/is like that at all. what do the rest of you guys think about girl 1 not playing games and that's just the way she expresses her emotions?
colosseum Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 This thread is really important to me because I'm in the EXACT SAME SHOES AS YOU, PATCHA. And no, I don't have answers. All I know is that, like you, I don't want to burn both bridges, but the burning of one at this point seems inevitable. ****!!!!! I think what it will ultimately come down to is what I want; fun but not necessarily LTR or LTR. Selfish, I know, but it would be more selfish if I continued down this path and started playing games with both just for my own sake. And do I know which--fun/STR or LTR--that I think I'd want at this point? If I did I wouldn't be putting up this post right now. No offense patcha but it sounds like you're doing exactly what girl #1 is doing, juggling the two of them, so I don't think anyone has a right to condemn #1 for her games. patcha, I don't think either one is right for you and for that matter, if you have major trust issues with BOTH, time to examine why you do. People tend to judge others by what they're capable of doing. It's why many cheaters are highly jealous and possessive, not saying that you're capable of cheating but it's an example of such. Of course people who have been cheated on, lean towards distrust as well, but some get over it, while others distrust for life. This is beautiful, by the way. And I need to keep this in mind for my own sake. Thanks, Trial.
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