Saudade Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago, haven't heard or seen anything from him since. I know he was thinking about ending it 2 months before the actual split, so he has 2 months on me already I guess the reason he finished with me was because he thought I had a lot of things to do to sort out my life, even though he said he was still in love me, still found me attractive and that I was the best girlfriend he ever had - I was confused and still am. My point to this whole post is I found out on a website, NOT facebook or Myspace, but a place he knew I always logged on to. He decided to put a message up for all to see (strangers) that he was moving out of town at the weekend and was looking for a removal company. It crushed me, I feel sick and don't know what to do with myself. I know he isn't coming back to me now, I know he is able to do whatever he likes (which he has so I hear) with all of this, why do I feel so sad and hurt. I feel like I'm back at square one again. Now I'm obsessed with looking for him online, which is INSANE. Any words of comfort or advice would be great.
broken_promises Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Ugh. I'm right there with you. It is, in some ways, more painful when a breakup isn't because of some major fighting or infidelity but when it is one of the "i love you but don't want to be together anymore." I just hate it because, no matter what the reasons, it always feels like it is just because they want to seek out something new/better/different than you. And yes, I have failed a couple of times in keeping myself from looking at a few things I can see of my ex's current activities online. All I can say is that finding out what they are doing hurts WAY more than not knowing. So, if at all possible, try to keep yourself from looking and finding out. I know - easier said than done, but it really is just heaping more pain on top of the breakup pain.
Author Saudade Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Thank you for getting back to me. It is sooooo hard not to look, it's almost become part of my daily routine. I feel like I'm addicted to drugs or something and I need my next fix even though I know that fix is going to put me right back to the start, which means more pain. His life is nothing to do with me and yet it feels like it's everything to do with me. How dare he leave when he still loves me, at least tell me you've fallen out of love with me you know? I am a mess and I don't know why. Someone please tell me, I need to know why I am going out of my mind knowing he's leaving town after a month of this break-up. Why should I be the one heartbroken while he enjoys life to the full.
moo Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I know what it's like to be heartbroken and be a completely mess while the ex prances around proud and goes "LA-DEE-DA." It feels unfair, esp. when the ex is an a-hole like mine. I'm starting to feel better about it now. You can too. You can have a new life where you can open yourself up to different experiences and develop a better relationship with yourself. Keep on the NC, it really will get better in time. There was a time when I felt like I would die without my ex...but it's not true. Once you get yourself together, look into volunteering in a hospital, nursing home, or in other situations. Try to make your life very full on your own.
dkny27 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 All I can say is that finding out what they are doing hurts WAY more than not knowing. So, if at all possible, try to keep yourself from looking and finding out. I know - easier said than done, but it really is just heaping more pain on top of the breakup pain. This is so true. Don't go looking...you won't like what u find.
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