Houdini176 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Let me start by saying that this is just another one of those "I'm too scared to say anything to her" threads, with a couple twists. I'll fill you in with everything, as I guess that's not the only thing that is bothering me. I'm going to be a Sophomore this year in High School. I'm smart for my age, I'm going to be taking College English, College Math, Triginometry, and Calculus starting next year (Calculus maybe Junior Year). So, it would seem that I would be able to handle myself with more mundane things like social interaction (OMG PEOPLE?!?!), but no. Using my self-granted PhD in psycology and a myiad of online sites, I have come to the conclution that I might have a social disorder. I can talk to my friends fine, but meeting new people is terrible, and I find myself anxious when sitting in a restauant full of other people. Even when I'm not alone. When people laugh near me, the thought that they may be laughing *at me* forms in my mind, and I beguin to worry. Also, I sometimes bring up small things in the past (In my mind) that I did wrong when I spoke to someone. I remember a bad joke I told to a group of people when I was kindergarden, and the look on their face after I told it. I remember everything I do wrong, and it's pretty annoying. But there ya go, there's by backround. Next the primary problem... I like someone. Her name is Kate. She's smart, pretty, and has a good personality, AKA the trivmvirate of steriotypical things you like about your crush. But, as far as I'm concered she is all of those things. Whatever. Here's the problem: That whole anxiety thing I told you about, gets magnified 10x whenever I so much as see her face. It's annoying. Try to engadge in some badinage in History Class? Not going to happen. Going to say "Hello"? Not going to happen either. I can't force myself to talk to her. I want to stop liking her, because frankly she's way out of my league and I don't even want to try asking her out. I've never asked a girl out, and I'm not about to start. So, first of all: What would *you* do if you were me? Secondly: How do I stop liking her? And finally: Do you ever expirenced said social anxieties whilst in a restaurant or hear a laugh near you? Maybe this is normal, or I'm blowing it out of proportion. Thanks... Sorry for spelling and stuff, I wrote this kind of fast.
lucy9216 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 This is a really interesting situation. If I were you I would talk to her, not just to get her to like you but someday you need to try and get over your fears or take control of it if you ever want to meet someone. So start now! just talk to her and whatever results from that do not beat yourself up about the outcome if it is bad okay!!!! do not do that, it sounds like you have done this alot and that may be where your fear is comming from. You need to remember we are all human and we all make mistakes and do stupid things. Sometimes I get a random thought of something embarassing or stupid I did years ago and I seriously just laugh about it and two seconds later the thought is gone. It is normal to feel anxiety or closterphobic around large groups of people, but feeling like they are laughing at you? I think you need to stop worrying so much about what other people think and start focusing on yourself and how to make yourself happy.
saira Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 sound like me a while back - u luck confidence and u sound like u do not believe in ur self.. why? you know deep down you are a strong and confident person and just because she is 'out' of ur league doesnt mean anything. great things are those we believe wont work. spend time around her and never say never - eventually u will be happy with a great gal in ur life and if not with her certainly with someone special
lilly83 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Have you considered councilling. Talking to someone about your experiences and getting down to the problem. It is nothing to be ashamed of and it may help you gain more confidence. As for the girl. Just go for it. Life is about having fun and experiementing. If you dont try you will never know. You dont have to ask her out straight away or hang out with her. Just take it in stages. Just start of by saying hi. Then move on to hi, how are you? Also do you share any classes together? If so go and sit next to her in the class and talk about things you feel comftable with.
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