tigressA Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I have some friends who have very questionable dating histories, in particular a guy I've known for a couple of years now. The two of us dated casually for a brief time but then became friends. He had a pretty nasty breakup with this girl who turned out to be a total psycho just last month, and he told me that he's been hooking up with an ex-girlfriend from high school who has a long-distance boyfriend. I had some choice words in mind once he described the situation to me in detail, but all I said was, "Well, whatever works for you." Do you ever tell the whole truth when a friend asks you, "So...what do you think?" in regards to their new significant other or hook-up situation when your opinion is "Run away, run away!" or something to that extent? Is it worth it to be honest? Which side are you more likely to be on: Making an effort to save a friend from a bad situation, or letting your friend make their own mistakes? Have you ever held back your opinion and turned out to be dead wrong?
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 It would depend on the trust in the friendship and it would depend on the maturity level of the friend. The higher of both, the more likely I am to tell them to run. I'm generally of the camp of speaking delicately about the situation, but being as honest as I can. Then I tell them to have at it and I support them in doing what they need to be happy. I think it's also highly important that if you DO tell them the truth and you DO turn out to be right in spite of their resistance to your comments that you love and support them regardless when it turns to ****. No judgment and not even the slightest hint of "I told you..."
Author tigressA Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I think it's also highly important that if you DO tell them the truth and you DO turn out to be right in spite of their resistance to your comments that you love and support them regardless when it turns to ****. No judgment and not even the slightest hint of "I told you..." Yes, I definitely agree with this. I actually turned out to be right about every relationship my friend has had since the two of us hooked up, but I've always kept my opinions to myself. I've always been there to support him once things fell apart. I wonder at why I didn't say anything to him this time around, though. I guess there's really no point in it since it seems like the kind of situation to implode sooner rather than later.
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