Road To Joy Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 This is a weird one! She texted/emailed me (sent an email to my number [received it as a text]... I know it sounds weird lol). As many of you may NOT know, aha, my birthday is tomorrow. The text/email thing was sent a few days ago or something. I didn't answer until yesterday (don't yell at me!). It said she still loved me and often picks up the phone, dials in my number, and hangs it up (I'm the one who told her not to contact me when I decided to start NC). She said she was shaking while typing that, and that she still wants me. She said her mood swings have been getting worst and worst everyday (she has Bipolar disorder, not treated last time I knew). She wished me a happy birthday and said she hoped I've been doing okay. She also said she hoped she had the guts to call me on my birthday. My reaction was this: To me, as bad as this may sound, it was as if I got a text/email from a dead person. 'Cause honest to God, I thought I was NEVER going to talk to her again. The past couple of weeks I haven't been thinking of her a lot, but whenever I did I tried picturing her happy with someone else, and honestly it didn't bother me. It didn't make me happy, it didn't make me upset. It's whatever, indifferent, like I'm over it. How did it make me feel? Like this: I found it amusing! I told her that if she decided she was going to call, and wanted to talk to me, to make sure to call after nine (free minutes, LOL). Am I expecting a call? It's 50/50. She is like the definition of Bipolar Disorder, so honestly it's 50/50. She might change her mind/mood, she might not. I don't know. I'm not lying to myself. If she does call, then... I don't know what would happen. But I'll update If she doesn't, oh well! I'm going to see my all time favorite musician/artist/lyricist on the 21st (I'm taking a road trip just for the show), and I'm super stoked about that. Futurewise: do I see myself with her in the future? Hell no! When I see my future I see myself traveling, doing well in school, having back the social life she killed when we were together, and MAYBE dating. I guess I'm going through the whole 'I don't want to date for a while', or 'I don't want anything SERIOUS for a while' stage of the whole post-breakup thing. I haven't been checking my phone every two seconds like most people when NC is broken. In fact, I left my phone at home (recent habit, I didn't do it to contain myself), went to a friend's house, and went to the movies. In other news, I have mosquito bites all over my legs Damn Floridian summers...
Ilovehim Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 not to be rude but you shouldnt say "you dont care" and "you're indifferent" because obvioulsy you are cheesing that she sent you that text...i dont know your break-up story but it would have bothered me in the past if i texted my ex something like that and his attitude was all **** it....anyway as i said i dont know your breakups tory so im not going to judge
Giha Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Nice, man. Don't forget what she made you go through, even if she calls again and says she wants you back. Who's the artist you're going to see?
Author Road To Joy Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 not to be rude but you shouldnt say "you dont care" and "you're indifferent" because obvioulsy you are cheesing that she sent you that text...i dont know your break-up story but it would have bothered me in the past if i texted my ex something like that and his attitude was all **** it....anyway as i said i dont know your breakups tory so im not going to judge I know what you mean, and this is also something I've had in mind. Truth is, I can't lie about the fact this DID give me a self-esteem boost. After this whole breakup thing, the thought that stuck the most was her not missing me. Yes, thinking stuff like her being with someone else, and all the usual upset me at times, but what I really hoped for was that she at least missed me a little after our breakup. And this just concluded that, yknow? It wouldn't bother me much if she went on and moved on with someone else, or if we never spoke again. 'Cause at least I know she missed me and I meant something at one point, and that's enough for me. In a way it was a bit of a final closure? And a good one at that. But yeah, I understand what you were trying to say, and I know I still have to be careful 'cause I/you never know what old feelings might snap you in the ass. In the beginning of the breakup I thought I was never going to get over it, and gradually it happened. To it's full extent? I don't know. I guess we'll see that when/if she calls tomorrow. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, if I do get hurt, I know for a fact I'll get over it. I've learned a lot and evolved since the breakup and the relationship itself. I'm no longer the naive, weak person I was before. Who's the artist you're going to see? Conor Oberst! If you want to check him out I recommend the following songs: Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band song lyrics and If the Brakeman Turns My Way by Bright Eyes (his old band) lyrics Tell me what you think!
Giha Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I liked it alot. The first one is better imo, sort of oldschool-like playing
Author Road To Joy Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I liked it alot. The first one is better imo, sort of oldschool-like playing Glad you liked it!
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