DeepInThought Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I made the gravely mistake of contacting my ex gf (from another country) the other week after 14 months of NC. Our last contact was a huge fight and well.... Anyway, i thought enough time had passed where "at least" we could have been civil and polite enough to have a quick catch up. I was very wrong! The call lasted a whole 2 minute and her tone was one of spite, hate and dismissal. I was polite and happy throughout the call but inside i was a mixture of saddness and disappointment. The call ended with her accusing me of always calling her brother and she finished with saying "have a nice life..." before hanging up. I was so disappointed, even after so long i still love and care about this girl, i know i always will, but i was more shocked that how could someone i had been so close with be so nasty.. Especially after 14 months of NC? Anyway on the brother front, her brother was the one always call me and we actually had a great friendship that didn't include her. By that i mean we never spoke about her. In a period of this 14 months i have only called her brother once to help him with his golf game. That's it! I tried to call him after this phone call but he was unavailable, so i dropped him an email thanking him for his friendship and saying that i didn't want to create problems betwen their family. He emailed straight back saying he'll get things sorted out but i emailed back saying "don't bother, i'm not going to be played the fool between you two..." So there has been no contact between any of us now... I am really hurt and upset, not only have i lost a girl i really love/d but i have also lost an extraordinary friend. I have dated many of women over this period and have had some amazing times, but this girl really got to me and i miss her so much... It was her B'Day the other day, i was polite enough just to send a quick text that said.." Happy Birthday, best wishes. **** x" Advice please... P.S. Yes i know i should have listened to Caliguy's advice..
Road To Joy Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Hey, buddy. I can promise you you'll be okay. It takes different people different amounts of time to move on from someone. That means over a year for some... You're one of those and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are 1 year and 2 months closer to full recovery. Doesn't that sound great?
Author DeepInThought Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Yeah i'll bounce back...eventually! I don't harp on it too much, just the last week and a bit after the call. It's funny you know as i have had many relationships and this is the first one that has affected me in this way and so much, and over such a period of time. I guess because we were looking at building a life together which included me moving my life to another country over the other side of the globe.. So alot of logistics! But getting over other past relationships seemed easier and over a far shorter period of time too. I think what is the biggest problem is there wasn't any real closure, just BANG ended! So there seems to be so many loose ends and what ifs.. It's kinda strage, where for a month or two throughout the 14 months of NC i wouldn't think about her much, but every so often a thought or feeling, even a smell i recognised and associated from her would spark the emotions again.. Strange! Thanks
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