tkgirl Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 So.. a while back I emailed an ex. I thought I did it for closure... but, well... pretty soon we start emailing back and forth a bit. But it was nice... we realized that we missed each other and that maybe we could try to be "friends". Ok, so last weekend we ended up getting together... and it felt like no time had passed at all.. we had a good time, talked and laughed a lot and basically just hung out. We ended up back at his place and he was showing me his recording studio stuff and played some of the music he's been working on for me. He's really talented! and cute and smart and funny and very sweet... ok, so I think some of those old feelings I had for him are still there! I mean, the guy's a total catch! Anyways, I ended up staying until about 1 am... he told me I didn't have to leave but I thought it'd be best, right? We started joking around about sex and he goes "It seems like sex always gets in the way of being friends with us" and then I said "or friendship is getting in the way of the sex!" We ended up giving each other a nice hug and a couple small kisses and that was that. Well, he called the next day and we got together again! We had a good time.. I really like hanging out with him, he makes me laugh! BUT! I don't know. I just... don't know! It's like we enjoy hanging out together but then there's this awkwardness, like we don't know what we "are"... just friends or could there be something more? A part of me feels like I could really fall for this guy again.. but he broke my heart in the past and I really don't want to get hurt by him again. And I'm not sure what he is thinking either... he has been very respectful with me, so I don't see him as just trying to get back with me for just the sex. I think he really might have feelings for me, but then he isn't 100% sure and doesn't want to hurt me. It's all very confusing... I'm trying to just go with it and see what happens next. On the one hand, I've missed him and I'm glad to be friends... but on the other hand, it's also very hard. Anyways, I'm open to any advice! (or even criticism, paper! lol!) Thanks!
13arkansas Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I get th feeling from this post that you are still in love with him and not over him at all! It sounds like a fun, flirty friendship...I'm sure he loves your comapny but there is a reason why you 2 split. I et the feeling he might really be enjoyig the company of a fun girl who he cares about and has a history with, and might engage in a little affection or naughtiness with at some point. Really guard your heart...I think this isjust a friendship to him (hope I'm wrong though).
Truly Lost Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 It sounds like you are more into him than he maybe into you. I'm pretty sure he will hook up with you as many times as you want. But since you guys got this weird, "I don't know what's going on" vibe, more than likely he has you in the friendship zone and possibly the friendship with benefits zone. Be careful with him. Love can make you do stupid things. Like convince yourself that your ex is still in love with you.
norajane Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Would it clear things up for you if he told you he was interested in another girl and wanted to ask her out? Or if he tells you he just started dating someone else? Or if he tells you he's fallen in love with someone else? Because that's what lies ahead of you as "friends". If you can't handle hearing about his other girls, or knowing that the nights he is not hanging out with you, he's out trying to meet and date other girls, then you are not anywhere near ready to be friends with him. Give it more time. And start dating other people. Right now, you hanging out with him will prevent you from finding other people attractive and interesting. But you can bet it's not preventing him from doing so.
Author tkgirl Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I get th feeling from this post that you are still in love with him and not over him at all! It sounds like a fun, flirty friendship...I'm sure he loves your comapny but there is a reason why you 2 split. I et the feeling he might really be enjoyig the company of a fun girl who he cares about and has a history with, and might engage in a little affection or naughtiness with at some point. Really guard your heart...I think this isjust a friendship to him (hope I'm wrong though). yep, I really thought I was at least somewhat over him.. but probably not enough. It sounds like you are more into him than he maybe into you. I'm pretty sure he will hook up with you as many times as you want. But since you guys got this weird, "I don't know what's going on" vibe, more than likely he has you in the friendship zone and possibly the friendship with benefits zone. Be careful with him. Love can make you do stupid things. Like convince yourself that your ex is still in love with you. yep... I think that's always been the case. Well, at first I think he was more into me but then I became too into him... I think it's what scared him off in the past with us. I don't want to be that way again... with anyone! Would it clear things up for you if he told you he was interested in another girl and wanted to ask her out? Or if he tells you he just started dating someone else? Or if he tells you he's fallen in love with someone else? Because that's what lies ahead of you as "friends". If you can't handle hearing about his other girls, or knowing that the nights he is not hanging out with you, he's out trying to meet and date other girls, then you are not anywhere near ready to be friends with him. Give it more time. And start dating other people. Right now, you hanging out with him will prevent you from finding other people attractive and interesting. But you can bet it's not preventing him from doing so. No, you're right... I don't think I could handle hearing about him dating other girls. Knowing that makes me realize I cannot be "just friends" with him... not yet. I do plan on dating other people for sure... in fact I have two "potential" guys right now. One is a friend of a friend that she's working on setting me up with, and the other is someone I work with that I heard is interested in me.. but has not asked me out yet so who knows... anyways! So I guess the only thing I can do is just keep busy living my life and then see what happens. And it would probably be best to limit the time I spend with "the ex". I think I want more than "friendship" with him.. but I'm just not sure what he wants yet. anyways... thanks everyone!!!
Author tkgirl Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 so.. I'm starting to overthink this again.. but there's a couple things that happened that makes me wonder if he is interested in being more than friends with me too.. that I didn't really get into in my first post. Like when we were first making plans to get together.. he was the one calling me to set things up... and it felt like a date. He picked me up, took me out (paid etc) and later when we were hanging out at his place, he was doing little things like rubbing my neck, playing with my hair etc... like he was maybe making some kind of move, but was respectful at the same time. And then when he called me the next day to get together... that's something right? We ended up hanging out in town, walked around etc. I wanted to look at mtn bikes and even took a couple out to test them. He was being very patient, and even held my purse while I was riding them around! then I ended up buying one! and then he emailed me the next day and asked how I liked my new bike... Anyho... ok yea, I'm definitely overthinking all this.. but there was some mixed signals on his end, right? so I'm not completely crazy to be a little confused, right? aggggghhhh!!
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