This hook up thing doesn't work

[Battlewax]

I've been hanging out with other women since my ex dumped me about 2 months ago.

 

I can't get her out of my head no matter what. I go out with people and it's a nice momentary distraction, but she constantly pops back in my head.

 

Yesterday I had one of the best days of my life. One of those days where everything just went right.

 

This morning I woke up in a woman's bed and I immediately thought about my ex.

 

I so hate this.

[victim_of_love]

I suppose post-relationship trauma comes with all relationships that end. I broke up with my ex not too long ago myself dude and I can understand that as well. I too use flirting and messing around other girls to help forget about her, and for a moment it works. But then I'm right back to thinking about her when the girl leaves.

 

I'm don't have any advice for you that could help you, other than keep flirting and probably find a hobbie. Thats what I'm doing.

[Thaddeus]

After my first wife died, just over a year passed before I was even remotely interested in dating again. But when I did, I did so with a vengeance.

 

And I felt much as the OP felt.

 

I thought that by going out a lot and romancing a lot of woman would help lessen my grief. And, to be sure, it did, sometimes, for a short time.

 

Now, the situations aren't exactly parallel so perhaps any conclusions drawn may not be relevant, but the fact is that coming to terms with the loss of a loved one - through relationship break-up or death - is a process, not a destination.

 

Shortly after my wife died a counsellor of mine said that this process is much like quitting an addiction, like smoking. It's one day at a time. There will be days when you'll hardly give it a second thought, and days when the memories are crushingly painful.

 

It's just that you'll find those difficult days begin to become fewer and further between.

 

That's all part of the process. It's perfectly normal and to be expected.