stablesong Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Background: I was in a long distance relationship and she started cheating on me. Been NC for just over 6 weeks, but I'm struggling at the moment. I can't understand how she could get into a relationship with another guy whilst still calling me her boyfriend? I can't get my head around the amount of disrespect she's given me. If she wasn't feeling it anymore, why didn't she just tell me?! Instead she met him, exchanged numbers with him, met up again, started having sex, went on to start telling him that she was his girlfriend - all whilst stringing me along and keeping things ticking over with us. Then when I came to visit for the last time, it was completely fine. I had no idea for the entire trip. We were travelling, having sex, talking, laughing. I didn't find out anything until I got home and she had e-mailed me. I already posted my story on here somewhere, but I'm having trouble understanding what was going through her head. How can anyone cheat like that? A one-off drunk night is one thing, but a full-on relationship behind my back. She could have just TOLD me. It still hurts so bad, even though my feelings are waning as NC goes on. Gah, sorry, just venting a bit. How can people do this stuff? I would never cheat on anybody in any way. Honesty, respect, Jeez...
Thaddeus Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 How can people do this stuff? She's clearly a narcissistic manipulative woman. Thank GAWD you found this out now instead of 2, 3, 4 or more years down the road. You dodged a huge bullet, my friend. I know it's hard in your present state-of-mind, but you have a LOT to be thankful for right now!
Giha Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 She's clearly a narcissistic manipulative woman. Thank GAWD you found this out now instead of 2, 3, 4 or more years down the road. You dodged a huge bullet, my friend. I know it's hard in your present state-of-mind, but you have a LOT to be thankful for right now! Very true.
Sevenscars Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 She's clearly a narcissistic manipulative woman. Thank GAWD you found this out now instead of 2, 3, 4 or more years down the road. You dodged a huge bullet, my friend. I know it's hard in your present state-of-mind, but you have a LOT to be thankful for right now! Similar situation here, and great comment -- it holds true. It's complete and utter disrespect and selfishness. They are so afraid to be alone, they keep you around as a "backup" while testing the waters with their new fling. stablesong, I feel for you, as my situation was similar. Your girl, and mine, they both had a complete lack of trust, respect, honesty, fairness, I can keep going but it will suffice to say all the base qualities a relationship needs in order to function. It is really angering. On top of that, it is depressing -- it is a HUGE blow to your ego to get cheated on. You deserve better than someone who lacks even the tiniest shred of respect for you. Stay NC. Never, ever, ever talk to her again. Even when you get low sometimes and feel like you need to talk to her, DON'T! I go through that too! It's simply feelings that are being sorted out, and going through it makes you better over time, rather than slipping and contacting your ex thus reverting your feelings back to dump day. She does not even deserve a word out of you, anyway. She lost that privilege when she decided another man was more worth her time. It probably will not work out for them, but it's over for you, move on and best of luck -- it gets so much better and you will find a girl one hundred times better. I wish you the best, I am only a few weeks ahead of you. It gets better.
redy2 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 im in the same boat. but mine is pregnant. and her thing is she likes to sleep with guys she meets off the internet. and lies like you wouldnt believe. bad part is she is so predicitable it isnt even funny. she hates my guts till she needs money then she starts to come after me again
Author stablesong Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Thanks for all the responses guys - this forum always seems to make me feel better when I vent. I'm definitely feeling that she was keeping me around in case she needed me, and yeah, cheating is a big blow to your ego. I like to think that that kind of stuff doesn't affect me, but clearly it does. My pride and self esteem are in tatters. Feeling a bit better right now. Just back from the pub with friends and a bit drunk. Never experienced such a rollercoaster of a post break up before. I know her new relationship is a farse, but it still kills that she's sleeping with someone else, naturally. I know that if I had someone else I'd feel better, but a combination of not wanting a rebound and not feeling particularly confident enough to pursue a rebound have kept me alone. Again, thank you for the responses. It really feels good to know others are out there feeling the same things. I wish the best to you all! xx
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