carhill Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Carhill I must say not to be offensive or mean to the other members here but of all the threads I've posted about my relationship you seem to be the only one who gives me meaningful and thoughtout replies. And you're never mean or cold nomatter how hard headed or pissed I am. I also must say I value your advice because the way you talk you think alot like my bf. So hearing what you have to say is really as close as I can come to seeing inside my bfs brain. Hey I appreciate that. Understanding the physiology of the brain and our psychology became somewhat of a forced hobby while I took care of my mother as well as helpful in coping with being a caregiver. I likely did plenty poorly and it ended up costing me my marriage. However, like everything in life, we can learn from it or we can be doomed to repeat the same patterns over and over until we're dead. Here's an interesting thought to consider, and I'm being honest here. With my wife, I consciously learned to be thoughtful and interested and understanding because I thought those were qualities a man should have wrt his wife. Conversely, with the friend I write about often, there is/was never any learning, rather just inspiration. We naturally do that with each other; it's like we can't help it. In a lot of ways, I think the way I was with my wife is the healthier way; choosing. With my friend, there's no emotional space and I think that is necessary for a healthy LTR. I think your BF could choose to remember; he could choose to accept responsibility. Maybe, over time, he will. Maybe, over time, such things will not matter, as TBF says. It's your life and your dynamic. It's good to be alive and it's good to be you OK, my cakes are cool and it's time to frost. Good evening from hot and muggy California....
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