ryanrabl Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I was with my ex for 2 years and I was engaged when she just left.Its been about 4-5 months now..and I am over her.I,of course think about her..but bascially outright told her she either wanted to be with me or not.I was not going down the friend route.If her texts bother you ,just tell her "NO"..you can gain some form of control over your breakup. It is quite discerning,however,that you still feel this torn up after 7 months of your breakup.I dont know how long you dated her ..but if it was over 2 years I understand why it would take you so long..but if it was less..i think you should see a professional at least.Letting a girl consume your life while she is out having fun with her friends (and probably another man) is not healthy.Moping,crying and thinking of her are natural the first 4-5 months after a breakup of NC..but after that, those thoughts should begin to slide out of the picture.I am not saying I am fully healed..but I randomly think about her when things remind me of her..thats all.She is out and having fun and has a new man...but none of those things bother me..it wasnt my loss,it was hers.I still love her..and if she is happy with her new man and life..than thats that!
contax Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I relate to you guys. I'm 3 months n/c. I have been to New York and now I'm in Europe. Even though I'm on vacation, I was holding back tears for the first 3 hours of the day. I talked to some grils here and there, but I'm not looking to pick any up. I will find the right girl when it happens. I am still healing. Keep doing well guys!
greymachina Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I was with my ex for about 3 years. We fought, we made up, but during the time we fought, she went out with another guy (I know the guy,used to be a distant friend of mine 1 year ago). After she got back with, she said she'd break up with the guy. Haven't seen that happening for the last 3 weeks. The only thing she told me is that she can't break up with him. And that I need to realize that he's her bf now. Therefore, I decide to go NC with her. This is the 2nd day. I thought I'd get better but I dream of my ex from times to times. And I nearly broke down several times in public ( in class). It hurts . . .
WiseOne1 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I feel you man, I think im in the same sistuation as you as when it comes to not knowing how to approach a female, because this is the first time ever me having to attempt to get a date, my last couple of gf's always made the attempt to get with me, so bassically im new at the finding a date scene.
Will Haetke Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 It makes it feel less world-shattering knowing that many guys (and girls) are/have been in the same boat. I'm currently in a self-imploding relationship that confounds my senses with the speed at which things can degrade (it's only been 4 months, but it really did feel like something special). Within the space of one week her smile dissappeared, communication broke down and then came the tears and talk "not knowing what she wants", etc... Despite how crappy I feel, I find myself laughing about a situation that I seemingly have no control over (I.e. I feel like a passenger on a plane that's about to crash. I can't get through to the pilot, so all I can do is put my seat belt on and see what happens or maybe open the door, jump and hope for a softer landing). At the moment I'm seriously hoping the pilot can pull up in time, but I know that not every story has a happy ending.
banser123 Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Hey Thomas. I really do hope things turn around and work out for you. And until then I hope you can be more happy. I don't know if your religious but I find praying helps. It makes me feel better. Just an option you have. Once again I hope it works out for you.
moo Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I got really, really anxious today. I had to call my ex or email him just to relieve the anxiety, but I told my roommate and he said, NO, NO, NO. So instead, I did some deep breathing. I got through it and kept NCing.
gavinus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Keep being strong Thomas X!!!!!! you can do it, hang in there By the way thanks for your advice...I became Goku today, check out my post How do I get across my ex who dumped me has hurt me when I accpeted her gift
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 i am trying NC for the first time today i have slipped as of late i found out that another guy was at her house for 5 hrs yeah i stalked her and it hurt me even more cuz i called and she lied about it. I cant continue on like this i have to let her go and if she wants me then she knows how to find me my heart is in pieces i think of her every sec of every day i am n love with her and i want to marry her but i realize that she has a lot of issues(deceitfulness) that i refuse to deal with unless she changes but i wont try to change her. NC is goin to be good for me cuz i hurt knowing that she is with someone else and i cant control her or the situation:it is what it is. I am so happy i found this site it has helped wonders. Now if only i can implement NC imma try today though and string it together. I realize too that NC doesnt mean u dont think about ur ex but it is for u to heal. I have to accept the fact that i am n love with her and she is doin her thing nuf said.
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