Author scar1985 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 thanxxx gd i guess ur quite right and you got a point there. Last nite when i textd him saying lets part on a good note n stuff n that v can never be friends so its best v go our separate ways i expectd him 2 atleast msg me back or maybe call. He hasnt done either. This seriously sucks having to wake up thinking about him. This seriously hurts. He still thinks im lying and i wasnt just going to meet him and he said m full of lies too. I dont want him to think that because its really not true i didnt tell him the truth coz it would only make me sound stupid the one doing evrything. You think my best friend trying to talk would help in nyway?
adamt Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Don't let him manipulate you, Sounds like he is trying to put his guilt and blame on you and using you. His true colours came through. I know how you are feeling and hurting. You showed strong strength to force the situation, a lot of people would just carry on as it was. You did the right thing. The next few weeks are going to be tough but if you stay strong and start looking after yourself it will start to get better. Stay in no contact and in a month or two you might start to see things clearer and realise he just wasnt worth it. Keep yourself busy and fill up your spare time. Catch up with friends. Dont be afraid to let your emotions out and talk it through with friends Good luck
Author scar1985 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 you think i should delete him from all my lists (facebook, orkut, gtalk). You think he would ever realise his mistake and ever come back although after we fought and a few minutes later i texted him saying its best we go our separate ways and whatever i was doing was to get us back together and i wasnt expecting anything back or even if i did i would have just waited for him to talk and not initiated anything myself he texted me back saying get it straight in ur head i'm never talking to you about it. Was it because we had just fought a few mins ago and that he said it in anger? I'm not being able to let go i'm not being able to come to terms with all this. I know hes been treating me like **** and ive been letting him do that and i never give it back in return. But last night he crossed all limits when he asked me to shut the **** up and for the first time i gave it back to him and broke up with him completely and told him i didnt even want to be friends and this is it. Do you think ive messed it up further and now even if he wants to come back he never would. I am still waiting for him to atleast message he hasn't still done that yet i still appear on his lists.
adamt Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 If it will help you get overhim then delete everything. If he has a change of heart he will come and find you. But you have to first accept it is over. He just isnt worth it. I dont know how old you are but i am sure you are young enough to find someone who will treat you better. Think about, if you love someone would you treat them the way your ex has treated you?
Author scar1985 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 i'm 24 and hes as old as me. Ive deleted him off my facebook for the time being i don't know if this will really get him back though. My best friend tried talking to him about it and all he said was that for the last two months the way things are going i don't feel for her anymore. I warned her four months back that with every little thing that comes up (like missing his call or if by mistake i leave my ph behind its only going to get worse hes just going to yell further and nothing more). He admitted to her that for the last 3-4 days hes been calling me more frequently infact hes the only one who calls. He refused to say anything more. He called me up after he finished talking to her and we spoke i asked him if he has any feelings towards us and he said it doesnt matter anymore because we had decided something and we have to stick to it so whether he does or not its immaterial. And that i'm no one to tell him how to speak and this is exactly how hes gona speak and if i don't like it then i shouldn't talk to him at all. I told him with everytime u yell you make it even more transparent that it bothers you and all he said was so if it does thats why ive told you not to tell me every detail. I don't even do that i also told him that im sure even u know that if i'm coming to your city its mostly to meet you even if i have work why would i possibly come over the weekend and spend two days exclusively with you friends don't do that right and if your also giving in that means there is some spark and he said i thought you said you werent expecting anything in return. He also turned around and said if you think like that then please don't come and now if you come i'm not meeting you you do whatever u have to. He told my best friend he doesnt feel for me anymore for whats been happening and that hes just being humple and gradually getting me out of it. He told me the best thing is we should not even talk online. But i don't understand when he doesnt feel for me why would he call me up several tiems which he admitted when i don't even bother calling him. Why would he want to meet me when i'm coming to his city and plan the weekend out. Why would he yell for the slightest of all things and show hes bothered which he said he is and thats one reason i shouldn't tell him anything. I'm really confused but all he says is We decided last time if anything comes up we are going to go our separate ways and we have to move on we have to stick to what we have decided it doesn't matter whether he still feels for me or not. Ok let me tell you as to what exactly happened last night well it was about 6:30 when i was sitting online for a while and then signed out and was sitting with my mom while she was on fb playing scrabble and i was enjoying helping her. Thought of calling him then rememebered the NC and so i refrained. He called me at about 9:30 asking me what i was upto and what i was doing and if i was online i told him what i was doing and that mom was online and not me. It completely slipped outa my mind besides i was online at 6:30 didnt even strike me then we spoke for bt 2-3 mins and then we put down the phone. At about 10:30 he called me again saying so you were not online and then it striked that i was so i told him yeaa i was for a bit but that was lik 4 hours ago and then he took off he would listen to me all he kept saying was why do you have to lie..why do you ahve to hide things from me you don't have the guts to be truthful you lie to me and hide things please don't do that with anyone..if you have to hide things then don't talk to me. I tried explaining it to him that i wasn't hiding anything i just didnt remember the 1st time and that i haven't ever hidden things from him then why would i hide such a thing it just didn't strike me at the very go. And he was like are you dumb i asked you if you were online not what your mom was doing or what u were doing with her then if you were is it so hard to remember and you were online is not the point when i asked you why did you have to hide why do i have to find that out on my own. I told him ur on my list so i know wheneva i reply to a thread yo would know and if i didnt want you to know at all i would have deleted you from my list the very first day. He would listen he was screaming even louder and he kept saying shutup why do you always have to prove your point right and the fact that your telling em what happened means your wrong and i'm right atleast sometimes admit your mistake and keep shut n then came the shut the f*** up. Thats when i took a stand and texted him saying its over and we should go our separate ways. Do you think deleting him off facebook would get him really curious to know what i'm upto and what i'm doing? Would that make him certain i'm moving on and now thres no way i'm accepting his BS and making him realise his mistake?
adamt Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 There is no guarantee that if you disappear(remove from facebook) from his life he will come back, but it will increase your chances. things can't carry on as they are. you have to stop being there every time he contacts. dont answer his calls or get your mom to say you are unable to answer the phone. You have to go complete NC and sort yourself out. Dont let him try to control your life. Do you really want to be sat here in 12 months time in the same situation with your life on hold. unless he says he wants to get back together then i think you need to stop answering his calls because little bits of chit chat is not goign to help you he is messing with you which is not fair. you are only going to get hurt more. you have to put yourself first. if you are feeling strong, next time he calls just ask him outright why do you keep calling me when we are broke up. if he says there is no way you are getting back together then go complete NC and move on
Author scar1985 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 well your right its been one heck of a day and he hasnt called or mesaaged and u know what i'm feeling soo much better feeling relieved i don't have to bother on what i have to say and how hes going to react or how would i avoid getting into an argument or having him back. Maybe deleting him off facebook wouldn't get him back but one thing i for certain that it would help me move on much faster. Besides all this while it was all about him and everything was being perceived from his perspective today its about me what i want and that i was being silly all this while. I don't think i would ever accept a man like him ever in my life who has always caused pain and has no respect for others but himself. A very self centered man and he is not who i can live with for the rest of my life. I havent done any wrong for him to treat me like that and after all that ive been doing and taking every **** that hes been giving me i'm sure i desreve sum1 much better. Thanks a ton. Uve really helped me a great deal thanksss and at this pace i'm surely gona get over him in no time.
Author scar1985 Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 i didn call nor did i text him the whole of yesterday. Im Following the nc rule. Im sure hes realised ive deleted him from facebook 2. To my suprise this morning he sent me a message saying-i duno what your friend has told u that is why i dont like a 3rd person getting involved because he or she then brain washes you. Is he just playing up with my emotions? Or is he scared that he might just lose me since ive already started taking drastic measures? Or does this mean he just wants me there so wheneva hes loney there is someone to comfort him?
adamt Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 yeah, he just wants to keep you there is the background. remember he broke up with you so ignore him unless he says he wants to try again and fix the relationship
NopeNah Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 is he scared that he might just lose me since ive already started taking drastic measures? He LOST you the minute he walked out of your life...That's the mindset I'm in with my ex..That night she walked out, is when she lost me!
Author scar1985 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Hey guys it really worked. I went to Bombay over the weekend to meet him as planned. To my surprise he spoke about us and he said he misses me and he wants to give this another chance. We spoke about it all sorted it out and now v're back together. I'm reallyyyyyyyy reallyyyyyy happy. Just when id lost all hope of winning him back. Thank you all for your help i wouldn't have made it so far.
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