i'mfaraway Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 LDR. For some time now. We don't see each other as often as I would like and the daily means of connection is email, IMs and some texts. The thing is he doesn't like the phone and when I insist he would grudgingly call. Then the calls die down. It's not that I enjoy talking on the phone but I just think it's necessary. But is the phone really that important? I don't have reasons to suspect he's on the sly. So I'm not sure if I should feel bothered by the lack of calls.
boogieboy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Text in any form is so impersonal. I think you need to hear a persons voice to really have a great connection. I think when a guy tells you he doesnt like to use the phone, its because he doesnt like talking to you. No guy will refuse talking to a fun girl for a half hour. (dont ask me what i mean by "fun") text stinks.
Author i'mfaraway Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Text in any form is so impersonal. I think you need to hear a persons voice to really have a great connection. I think when a guy tells you he doesnt like to use the phone, its because he doesnt like talking to you. No guy will refuse talking to a fun girl for a half hour. (dont ask me what i mean by "fun") text stinks. I love my guy but I don't enjoy the phone either. It's not just him, I just don't like talking on the phone with anyone. I don't quite understand this. When we're together, we have so much to talk about and we just get on so well. But the phone is just the wildcard. I know the theory about people using the phone to convey their love for each other but I don't feel that he doesn't love me. So I'm confused and not sure if I should question his love for me.
analyzetheworld Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Don't worry about the typical LDR. If both of you don't enjoy talking on the phone, then don't. Do what works for the two of you, not what works for others. Don't question his love for you unless you have real evidence of such. Oftentimes, if you question his love for you, you will behave in such a way that will push him away. Just take it as it comes. LDR's are difficult, period. Sad to say, most don't last, but if the two of you have the commitment and determination, you can do it.
Author i'mfaraway Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Don't worry about the typical LDR. If both of you don't enjoy talking on the phone, then don't. Do what works for the two of you, not what works for others. Don't question his love for you unless you have real evidence of such. Oftentimes, if you question his love for you, you will behave in such a way that will push him away. Just take it as it comes. LDR's are difficult, period. Sad to say, most don't last, but if the two of you have the commitment and determination, you can do it. So put aside my personal disdain for the phone, should I be concerned? I've communicated that I want him to call me and yet he doesn't really do that. Is that cause for concern that he doesn't register what I said I want?
Author i'mfaraway Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Raise your hands, please. Which of you don't like the phone even when you like the girl?
butcher's hook Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Yeah ok fine guys might not like the phone I don't love being on the phone either and I am female BUT how could he go so long without yearning to hear your voice? That is weird to me and to be honest I could not be in a relationship with a man who I was already not having much physical contact with and on top of it he has no desire to hear my voice and I him.
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I dread the phone ringing (bad memories from mom's dementia) but will happily chatter away with a woman I like for hours. Doesn't matter if it is a friend, lover, or spouse. I think the important thing here is identifying a desire in one's partner and making reasonable effort to meet their desire. After all, he's not giving away a kidney, he's just spending some time on the phone. Since it appears that neither of you particularly enjoy talking on the phone, why not try something like video chatting? Why not cut some expenses or take an extra job to buy an airline ticket to go see him? Find a solution which works for both of you
Author i'mfaraway Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 After all, he's not giving away a kidney, he's just spending some time on the phone. That's my point. Do you think that's a sign of little interest? Since it appears that neither of you particularly enjoy talking on the phone, why not try something like video chatting? Why not cut some expenses or take an extra job to buy an airline ticket to go see him? Find a solution which works for both of you That's a good idea.
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Do you think that's a sign of little interest? For me, absolutely. For him, unknown. When I'm attracted to a lady, or married, or involved with a female friend, I expand time to include those priorities, which are ever fluid and changing. Women call it multi-tasking. I have no idea what men call it because, truthfully, I don't get men sometimes and I am one Anyway, my experience with men, in general, is that when they see/experience something they desire, they go after it. It's their socialized psychology. They compete for the spoils of victory. They don't let pesky things like phones stop them.
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