shadowsfall Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 It's been about 1.5 years since my last relationship ended and I'm feeling more alone than ever. Tonight I was going out to my car next to the main property I live behind and caught a glimpse of a girl around my age who lives with her family there. Looks as though her boyfriend is over and they are spending the evening watching a movie together. As I started to walk back to my house to finish studying (which is how I've spent 100% of my weeks the past 2 years) I started thinking about how isolated I am and have been for some time. Now don't get me wrong, I love my independence and alone time but it has gotten to the point where I'm justifying the benefits of not having that kind of companionship in my life just to be able to concentrate on school/work. It's amazing too because I have absolutely no problems meeting women, I just never go on dates anymore. This coupled with my very secluded mon-fri ritual of school/work and NO interaction (I even live alone) outside of those things with any friends/family is probably the cause of my depression. You know I could probably accept it if I wasn't able to meet anyone, but it's really even worse when you have opportunities with people yet you choose not to pursue them and instead dwell on all that could have been.
tinklebell Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Shadows, what do you mean by that you have opportunities but you choose not to pursue but dwell on something that could have been? Is that what's holding you back? I find that I notice a lot of all these couples a lot and that's not a nice feeling. It's like everyone else is in a relationship. I can't understand what my friends mean about not everyone coupled up is having a good time. I just think they're all happy. You're not alone.
Author shadowsfall Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Shadows, what do you mean by that you have opportunities but you choose not to pursue but dwell on something that could have been? Is that what's holding you back? I should definitely clarify this because it has a double meaning. One meaning is of a woman that I've known for 6 months now. She shows an interest yet sometimes does things that make me question whether or not I can cross her comfort zone. I would love to take things further with her yet am reluctant to do so because of these inconsistencies in her behavior. So I think about what could be if I just man up and make a move. The other meaning has to do with every other woman I seem to meet, whose signs of interest are so obvious that I'd have to be completely incompacitated not to see them. My experiences with strong, aggressive women like these haven't exactly been positive so I'm more reluctant with these types and therefore think about what could have been if they were the 'exception' to my experiences.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 yet you choose not to pursue them and instead dwell on all that could have been. Well it looks like that right thar is yer prob mister! lol... reminds me of a quaint little saying dear old mom use to say and I quote! "**** on the pot of get off" if your sad living this way and you now obversely realize this then change it simple or continue living miserable. Also on a closing note just be warned tho even people in relationships have there share of **** and sadness. I'm contemplating being alone by choice soon it would just be easer! best of luck ps.... Get a cat there great company I'm not kidding..
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