colosseum Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." Now she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." Or something like "I just need some space." Or, my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now." Can you believe that? Neither can she. You know why? Because she's lying to you...It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be really into her career, but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." ... Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. -Opening scene from Hitch (2005) I know it's a film, but I can't help but wonder if this has some amount of truth to it. Any thoughts? PS: A corollary to that is: do people ever dress up just for themselves? As in, do people dress nicely not to be noticed/given attention? When people are dressed really nicely/pampered/make-up, w/e, is it wrong to assume approachability? (I ask because I just went grocery shopping and this woman was dressed like she was going to a club. Why would she?)
Aveenolover Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Id say its true. also, i dress up and look as good as i can whenever i go into public, that doesnt mean i WANT to be hit on or anything. i just dont want to look like a scrub.
Confusedalways Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 The quote sounds true to me. But, the dressing up part my friends and I definitely do for ourselves, sometimes.
Sweetcheripie Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." Now she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." Or something like "I just need some space." Or, my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now." Can you believe that? Neither can she. You know why? Because she's lying to you...It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be really into her career, but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." ... Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. -Opening scene from Hitch (2005) I know it's a film, but I can't help but wonder if this has some amount of truth to it. Any thoughts? PS: A corollary to that is: do people ever dress up just for themselves? As in, do people dress nicely not to be noticed/given attention? When people are dressed really nicely/pampered/make-up, w/e, is it wrong to assume approachability? (I ask because I just went grocery shopping and this woman was dressed like she was going to a club. Why would she?)[/QUOTE] Maybe she WAS going out - people stop in to the grocery store to grab stuff before they go out.
Lizzie60 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I don't believe that we get dressed for 'ourselves'.. we get dressed for others.. if we were home alone all day, knowing no one would see us.. we wouldn't go to all the trouble of getting nice and well dressed.. Same with weight.. unless it's a health issue.. we don't lose weight for us.. we lose weight cause others see us..
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 people stop in to the grocery store to grab stuff before they go out. Yeah, at 7 am at a warehouse grocery store (as seen many times with my own eyes). Reason? Restaurant owners (and club owners) are buying supplies early in the AM to set up for the day. It's so obvious I just can do nothing other than enjoy the view whilst loading my cart with Lean Cuisine's
boogieboy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 PS: A corollary to that is: do people ever dress up just for themselves? As in, do people dress nicely not to be noticed/given attention? When people are dressed really nicely/pampered/make-up, w/e, is it wrong to assume approachability? [/QUOTE] Its never wrong to assume approachability. Most women say that they dont want to go outside looking bummy--they leave out the part that is --just in case they get approached by someone that they would like. No one would care about looking good in their own mirror if it didnt matter to everyone else that they looked good. So Im calling out you liars! Anyone who is already taken, is looking good to get looked at to feel good, not necessarily hit on, but knowing people would want to hit on them. Thats why men and women give up on dolling up as they get older.
TheMeatloafJuggler Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I don't think Will Smith meant it literally. I think what he meant was, as a guy, don't listen to what a woman tells you, just do what you have to do anyway - take your shot. I do think people need to take the film in context, he wasn't dealing with really low status men ( which I think was a different problem) I think he was dealing with men who were not prone to aggressive pursuit in romantic situations. You can get away with being shy if you are a woman, men will walk up to you. If you are guy and you are shy and you are average ( i.e. not rich/not handsome like Brad Pitt), then you are screwed if you are not aggressive. ( I don't mean aggressive in an angry wife beating way, I mean proactively engaging women and interacting with them to try to elicit interest) No offense, I suspect many women will take his quote literally because the other subtext isn't flattering to women ( i.e. they don't know what they really want and there's no point in listening to what they say as it's not accurate to most of their behavior) Guess what? It's not flattering. When I see a woman waffling on a potential guy, I see a woman who IMHO is waffling on settling ( in her eyes, not necessarily in his eyes or society eyes) for a man she will eventually resent. Women don't need to waffle on the guy who is 6'2, built like a pro athlete, has 50 million in the bank, has a great job, high status, loves kids and can nail her like a porn star on speed. I think Will Smith doesn't underscore some issues in that film that are part and parcel with the dating game ( i.e. for their lack of aggression/alpha status, all those guys need some other compensator in place to have a real shot - Kevin James was a successful corporate guy, albeit a goofy clumsy one, but he was not a non status guy as the movie likes to make him out to be. I think Hitch really glosses over some issues, because it's a mainstream movie. But real tactics that are guides to help secure women for romantic interest are generally very unflattering to women ( which is why most women hate those guides/gurus/topics) No woman wants to hear she's indecisive, is basically insecure and all women are generally the same ( which is pretty much what the hard core "gurus" infer ) They can say it in real life, to make it easy going for a basic general audience and not offend anyone, but Will Smith can't actually address it completely in his film. TMLJ
MissHollywood Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I dress to feel good about myself and that's directly or indirectly linked to being noticed. It's flattering to be noticed in a good way. What I don't like is to be leered at when I show more skin but hey, if I wear, someone's going to look, right? So I can't really complain. I just try to strike a compromise. But people who say they dress for themselves could be telling the truth too. They dress to please themselves, knowing that that would get them some attention.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 That movie is awesome! and I believe allot of it to be true.. I also think most women dress a little nicer when they know theres sum one they want to "bump" into when they go out mostly. I know thats what I did I didn't just dress nice for anyone I had to already have an interest but then again I'm a bum sloth normally lol..
Island Girl Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I dress up for myself sometimes especially in NEW clothes. When I find something new and get a chance to wear it I just love the way I feel in it. There are other times when I want to just wear jeans and a sweatshirt and that feels good at that time. I really don't ever dress for anyone else or what they'd think. I couldn't care less. Everything I do is just for me. My husband would be the one exception but since he isn't here right now it isn't something I think about.
Intricategirl Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 It's a solid quote. I have got an insane number of things going on right now- full-time job, I'm heading back to school for my Bachelor's then on to law school, raising two kids, going through a divorce, managing a building I own, freelance writing, and I'm starting to pick up quite a few art shows around town. And that's leaving out a half dozen other things that don't take up a bunch of time. But I also make time for seeing the guy I'm dating. His life is no less busy, but we're still able to make time to spend with each other. The simple fact is, if I'm really not all that into a guy, then any number of things will have my attention instead of him. But if I like him, I'm going to figure out how to make him a priority. And personally, I have gotten dressed up for nobody but myself. I have lost weight for myself. It's nice when someone else notices, don't get me wrong, but that can't be sustained forever. When I do it for nobody other than myself, I really get to enjoy it. (Besides, it means a LOT more to me if I'm getting checked out wearing my scrubs at the gas station than if I'm dressed to the nines at the club. If a guy finds me hot when I look my worst- that's pretty cool. )
13arkansas Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 You're wrong Lizzie - I guess that's what you do, but I 100% love dressing up for myself and feeling good. Doesn't matter if I don't go out, I have makeovers at home, try on my lovely new clothes, etc. I practice sport and work out and eat really well to stay in great shape too, for me, because I want to respect my body and be proud of who I am when I look in the mirror. If others appreciate that then double bonus...they're appreciating me for who I am. I think it is dangerous for you or anyone to think the only reason to look good or not get fat is to please others....if you are a girl being a man pleaser is NOT good - do it for yourself.
lino Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 No woman wakes up saying, "God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." Now she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." Or something like "I just need some space." Or, my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now." Can you believe that? Neither can she. You know why? Because she's lying to you...It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be really into her career, but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." ... Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. -Opening scene from Hitch (2005) Totally agree with this! PS: A corollary to that is: do people ever dress up just for themselves? As in, do people dress nicely not to be noticed/given attention? When people are dressed really nicely/pampered/make-up, w/e, is it wrong to assume approachability? (I ask because I just went grocery shopping and this woman was dressed like she was going to a club. Why would she?) I dress as well as I can all the time and yes, it's for myself simply because I like to dress well, not to get others attention or to attract women.
Thornton Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 If I'm home alone I don't dress up. If I'm popping out for a pint of milk and don't expect anyone to see me, I don't dress up. If I'm going out in public and I know people will see me, I dress up and do my hair and makeup. So I guess to a great extent I do it for other people, but also for my own pride because I don't want people to look at me and think I'm scruffy, I take a certain amount of pride in looking good when I know other people will see me.
me003 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I dress up and down for myself. If I am having a great day I want to feel great and wear my cute necklace and shorts. If I am feeling crappy I dress crappy. You can always tell how I feel by how I dress. I also shop at VS for me and I buy matching items for me.
sally4sara Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 This past Sunday, I had no plans and intended to mostly just hang around the house. So I pulled out one of my dresses that I call a "flouncing dress" to wear for ME. A flouncing dress must be able to flair out real wide when I spin around to music and must make a rustling sound when I run in it. I can and do wear these dresses to more appropriate situations, but I bought and/or made them for ME, dig? Who was I doing this for if not myself?
Recommended Posts