greymachina Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I'm a male and I'm 21 years old. I've been in a relationship with my ex for almost 3 years ( I went out with her an extra year before we officially date). 2 months ago, we got in a fight and I didn't talk to each other for about 1 month. When I talked to her again, she was someone else's . Then I talked her into coming back to me. At first, she felt guilty for betraying me. She also felt guilty for hurting the other guy. She did try to break up with her rebound guy, twice. However, after his beggings and pleadings, she gave him chances to continue. During her first attempt, because she got home so late, I did something idiotic : I was worried if something might happened to her, therefore I ran to that guy's house and checked. The guy ended up getting kicked out of the house for 2 weeks. Thus, she also felt guilty for this. I agree to let her go on until that guy got back to his house. And so he did, 2 weeks ago. And my ex still went on with that guy. Recently, I've tried pleadings and begging and yes, they didn't work. Then, I told her that I will get better and that I will love her and wait for her. She told me that she still has feelings for me, but she just can't break up with the guy ( she doesn't tell me the reasons). She also told me that she does have some feelings for him sometimes. What should I do now?a couple of days ago, I found out about a link to this forum and how to get ex back. I read it and I decide that it's time for NC, but I haven't told her that yet. Should I make it clear to her that she either has to choose him or choose me? Should I tell her that as long as she's with that guy, I'm going to NC zone with her ? Also, she's moving to another apartment 2 weeks from now and she needs my help. Without me, it will be troublessome for her to move to her apartment. Please give me some advice, I really want her back. PS: title is I need some help on getting my ex back . I missed out the word "Help" somehow . . .
SRTtoZ Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Its not a sure proven method but the only way to get your ex back with some dignitiy is to let her go. Dont beg and plead...it makes you look weak and girls arent attracted to that. I was in your shoes before...It hurts to let that person thats SO clsoe to you go but do you REALLY want to be with someone who doesnt really wanna be with you? Thats what you get wen you beg someone and CONVINCE her to be with you. I remember pleading to my ex we will make it work and she told me 'I just dont want to be with your right now"...it hurt but after thinking about it, do I REALLY wanna be with someone who doesnt want to be with me?? HELL no. I did Ef up but thats why we have chances in the future. The only way it will ever really work down the line is if she comes back on her terms and you actually learn from your actions. Sometimes in life we get one chance...and sometimes we get multiple chances. Its all up to her. Let her go, NO contact and if she misses what she had enough she will reach out to you.
NopeNah Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 How will it be hard for her to move when she has a new guy to help? Go NC don't tell her your doing it,don't help her move, don't go to the guys house.
AnswersPls Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Hey I agree with SRTtoZ, before you do anything silly. Pls DO NOT CALL OR BEG.. Just completely disappeared. I just has a breakup 3 weeks to a month ago.. And I made a mistake of begging him back.. Which made him more pissed.. So, if you want to get her back, the only way is to have NO CONTACT... For me, I have already done all the "mess", so, now trying to save salvage the situation by not contacting him.. hopefully he will come back..
boogieboy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 The reason she doesnt want to tell you why she wont break up with the guy, because she WANTS to be with him, and not you. She doesnt want to explain to you how that guy is better for her than you. She also doesnt want to tell you why she fell out of love with you. Shes a coward. So leave her alone. Go NC with her, and LET HIM HELP HER MOVE! She broke up with you, you cant be friends, and you will not give her the priviedge of helping her move, Shes gonna learn the hard way that she cant have you around whenever she wants if its not a full blown relationship. And do not tell her why. get out of her life permanently. DOnt be a doormat by staying in touch with her.
Author greymachina Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 The thing is: I know people who have the truck and the equipments for moving and they are willing to lend me. Also, I already told her that I will ask them for it, before I posted on this forum. So, the conclusion is : Go NC without telling her. If she calls me, I shouldn't pick up the phone at all, should I ? Or should I pick up the phone and says I'm busy / working out / with friends, etc . . .?
northstar1 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 The thing is: I know people who have the truck and the equipments for moving and they are willing to lend me. Also, I already told her that I will ask them for it, before I posted on this forum. So, the conclusion is : Go NC without telling her. If she calls me, I shouldn't pick up the phone at all, should I ? Or should I pick up the phone and says I'm busy / working out / with friends, etc . . .? Listen to Boogieboy and cut her off. She's keeping you on the backburner while dating the other guy. She doesn't want you disappear completely, so she's giving you crumbs. The longer you give her attention, the longer she'll keep doing it. Walk away dude. If she'd dating him, let him help her. If you keep this up, you are wandering into doormat territory and you'll never go back from that. Go NC, live your life and let her see what life is like without you.
boogieboy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 The thing is: I know people who have the truck and the equipments for moving and they are willing to lend me. Also, I already told her that I will ask them for it, before I posted on this forum. So, the conclusion is : Go NC without telling her. If she calls me, I shouldn't pick up the phone at all, should I ? Or should I pick up the phone and says I'm busy / working out / with friends, etc . . .? Go NC and dont even tell her. She toyed with you long enough. Let her new guy figure out how she will move. Your responsibility is done.
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