Taucher Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 My GF left me 7 weeks ago. However, since then I have had the up and down range of emotions that I think you can all relate to. Some of the 'down' periods have been caused by her texting me and being all distant and sort of...friendly. Gah! Another down time came when she changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'single'. Both occasions I analysed to DEATH and went all miserable and tearful until my friend very tactfully pointed out that...nothing had changed. Here's the deal. You SO leaves you. Maybe it was a shock and you didnt see it coming. Whatever. The truth is that them leaving you is the ONE AND ONLY issue that you have to come to terms with, that should make you grieve for your relationship. It is the ONLY event to remember and to think about. ANYTHING that happens after that is just additional nonsense. Your situation has not suddenly become 'worse'. So, next time you get a text, or your ex acts coldly and you feel yourself gettiing upest, just tell yourself..."nothing has changed". They left you, you KNOW the deal. It works for me. T
81West Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 "Nothing's changed". That's great advice. I think simple, concise thoughts that serve to simplify and distill bouncing, restless and confusing emotions are fantastically helpful. I'm definitely going to use that one in my life. Another one that helped me was framing my loss around the fact that he had a complete and unalienable right to choose not to be with me. As a result I never felt inadequate, or tortured myself with schemes and dreams of winning him back, or tried to judge his decision as right or wrong. I just felt that for reasons unknown and unclear to me he made a free and independent life choice that while devastating to me, never really felt like it was about me. You know when you've been a good partner, and when you haven't.
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