EddieN Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Are coffee shops a good place for a guy to approach a girl? I see many examples on this board about people meeting in coffee shops, but whenever I go into one everyone is either with someone, they seem really busy, or they look really pissed. I don't go into coffee shops that often, but 2 ways a week I have some down time at my school so I figured I'd hang out a cafe for a while. What's a good approach? Like, would it be bad to try to chat up a girl who is reading something? Would it be weird to just go up to a table and ask to sit?
Thornton Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 It's fine to ask someone "Do you mind if I sit with you?", and say "Oh, I hate sitting in these places alone" and introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. I would find it extremely flattering even if I wasn't attracted to the guy, and at the very least you'd have a nice conversation over coffee even if it went no further.
WhyYesThankYou Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Yeah, maybe an, "Excuse me - you look like you're really into your book, but do you mind if I join you?" or "Do you mind if I ask about what you're reading?" Something that acknowledges she was doing something before you walked up, and you have manners - that you're not presuming she'll drop what she's doing just because you showed up. I would like to be approached in a coffee shop. People are generally there because they want to be in a social environment. Also, sometimes I think people "looked pissed" but are really just concentrating on their book or their thoughts. They'd probably be grateful for a chat with another person. If they actually *are* pissed, then you can leave them to their caffeine and back away slowly.
Lizzie60 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Maybe the people who are in the coffee shops just met someone for a coffee.. these places are usually where people meet for a chat, or for the first encounter.. BUT.. if you go there and there is a girl sitting by herself.. and you like her.. you could just go and ask her if she's waiting for someone - if not, ask her if you could sit with her.. and buy her a nice café latté...
Isolde Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I would like to be approached in a coffee shop. People are generally there because they want to be in a social environment. This. Some people prefer to do their more intense studying in cafes, where I prefer to do my 'lighter' studying there. So don't mind if you get brushed off.
Author EddieN Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 It's fine to ask someone "Do you mind if I sit with you?", and say "Oh, I hate sitting in these places alone" and introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. I would find it extremely flattering even if I wasn't attracted to the guy, and at the very least you'd have a nice conversation over coffee even if it went no further. Yeah, maybe an, "Excuse me - you look like you're really into your book, but do you mind if I join you?" or "Do you mind if I ask about what you're reading?" Something that acknowledges she was doing something before you walked up, and you have manners - that you're not presuming she'll drop what she's doing just because you showed up. I would like to be approached in a coffee shop. People are generally there because they want to be in a social environment. Also, sometimes I think people "looked pissed" but are really just concentrating on their book or their thoughts. They'd probably be grateful for a chat with another person. If they actually *are* pissed, then you can leave them to their caffeine and back away slowly. These are the things I'm looking for. I always get the impression that people are in a coffee shop to drink and leave, not to meet people. Guess my impressions are wrong though. Maybe the people who are in the coffee shops just met someone for a coffee.. these places are usually where people meet for a chat, or for the first encounter.. BUT.. if you go there and there is a girl sitting by herself.. and you like her.. you could just go and ask her if she's waiting for someone - if not, ask her if you could sit with her.. and buy her a nice café latté... At a college coffee shop, I'm going to guess a lot of girls will be in there just to be in there, though some might have just met up with a guy. Who knows? This. Some people prefer to do their more intense studying in cafes, where I prefer to do my 'lighter' studying there. So don't mind if you get brushed off. Makes sense.
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