moo Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts.
redtail Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. no, sorry...
Bocan32 Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. There are pleny of great, nice, normal guys out there. You're just picking losers. Plain and simple. I used to say the same thing about women until I realized that I was the problem. The reason why all the women I dated were idiots was because I was a bigger idiot for selecting them. Once I stopped this destructive cycle, I found my wife...who is wonderful. The problem always starts in the mirror, and the faster you learn that, the sooner you'll find someone who will respect you for who you are. Ask yourself, why do you pick the same type of men (losers)? Remember, you are selecting them. Even if they come onto you, the final decision is your's. Stop blaming and find out why you continue to do what you are doing. You deserve better, so don't short-change yourself by taking up with a punk. Some guys can smell low self-esteem like sharks smell blood in the water. And they target women who they can walk all over. There are plenty of nice guys out there. They may not be dangerous or terribly exciting. But they go to work, will be solid fathers and husbands, and are dependable. Start asking yourself, "What's important to me?" and then find someone who matches that. DO NOT say, "He's great aside from this one issue!" or "If I can change him he would be a wonderful catch!" Listen, he doesn't want to change and that one flaw will drive you up the wall. Get yourself a complete birthday cake! Not a bunch of imcomplete ingredients that MIGHT make a good cake. No more science project dating. Okay! Go get em!!!
redtail Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated ... Sorry Moo, I didn't really take the question seriously since the question answers itself. Yes, no, maybe, how do you define normal? First, what is your criteria? If it's just a man that shows interest in you, then yes you'll go through a lot of jerks. The best way to meet people, in my opinion, is to meet them while you are doing something you love to do. (Hopefully that's not just drinking in a bar.) If you meet a man that loves to volunteer at the same place you do, then you're starting from a greater degree of compatibility. Set your criteria higher, there are good people (men and women) everywhere.
HsMomma Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Sorry Moo, I didn't really take the question seriously since the question answers itself. Yes, no, maybe, how do you define normal? First, what is your criteria? If it's just a man that shows interest in you, then yes you'll go through a lot of jerks. The best way to meet people, in my opinion, is to meet them while you are doing something you love to do. (Hopefully that's not just drinking in a bar.) If you meet a man that loves to volunteer at the same place you do, then you're starting from a greater degree of compatibility. Set your criteria higher, there are good people (men and women) everywhere.[/QUOTE] redtail, you're absolutely right!
BlackWhite Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. Some great guys don't want to date women who are damaged, i.e. the ones who have dated by pot head, used as a piece of meat, etc.
pinksugah Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. Decent men are so scarce these days!
grogster Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Define "normal." The cynic in me wonders whether "normal" simply represents those weenies whom you can bend to your will--control, dominate and domesticate. Nothing wrong with your relationship goals and ambitions. But many of the men who won't play by your rules can still be considered "normal."
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 OP, think about this concept. You were attracted to such men and chose to date them. Do you think the answer to your question lies within you? Why? What can you do or think differently to attract and be attracted to the men you seek?
Lizzie60 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Define "normal." The cynic in me wonders whether "normal" simply represents those weenies whom you can bend to your will--control, dominate and domesticate. Nothing wrong with your relationship goals and ambitions. But many of the men who won't play by your rules can still be considered "normal." Grogster.. I love your avatar.. .. cute. OP.. normal men 'out there' nope.. they're all 'in here'
Trialbyfire Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 moo, there are plenty of good men out there. If you're consistently drawing the wrong kind of man, ask yourself what kind of signals you're putting out and also, what kind of man attracts you. Everyone has choice in life.
alphamale Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. if you're not looking for a "normal man" then you will never find one
grogster Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Grogster.. I love your avatar.. .. cute. OP.. normal men 'out there' nope.. they're all 'in here' Thank-you, Lizzie. Safe sex is very important; it cannot be emphasized enough. It's my public service message in the Shack. I consider myself quite normal--as normal as you.
BlackWhite Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I consider myself quite normal--as normal as you. Nasty!
SuicideBlonde Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Oh, there's plenty of losers out there. The nice, good ones are probably a little harder to find (supply and demand, I guess) I have a wonderful, wonderful man - but I can't say that he's "normal" because that just doesn't exist. The key is finding someone who you can compromise with, love, and most importantly, LIKE. Good luck
asireen Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. You come off as a person with a lot of superiority complex and are self-righteous, finding faults with every man you ever dated. Maybe the good ones can smell the nasty, repulsive, domineering characteristics you may be possessing and don't want to come within 20 feet of you.
boogieboy Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 You come off as a person with a lot of superiority complex and are self-righteous, finding faults with every man you ever dated. Maybe the good ones can smell the nasty, repulsive, domineering characteristics you may be possessing and don't want to come within 20 feet of you. Ouch!
redtail Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Decent men are so scarce these days! Substitute "men" for "people" and I still won't agree with you. Have you ever noticed all the crappy drivers on the road? Of course, how could you miss, they're every where. Ever notice a good driver? Rarely since by definition the good drivers are invisible by their courtesy. Good people exist, I refuse to believe otherwise...
Lauriebell82 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. There aren't any "normal guys" I don't think any of them are perfect. However, yes there are nice/good guys out there who are worth having a relationship with. Where exactly are you meeting these guys? Maybe you should try to meet them where you'd think nice guys would go. (and the men you described you usually meet at clubs, not a great place to find your soul mate).
redtail Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 ... Maybe you should try to meet guys elsewhere where you'd think nicer guys would go. "Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded." - Yogi Berra
Trialbyfire Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Substitute "men" for "people" and I still won't agree with you. Have you ever noticed all the crappy drivers on the road? Of course, how could you miss, they're every where. Ever notice a good driver? Rarely since by definition the good drivers are invisible by their courtesy. Good people exist, I refuse to believe otherwise...Good for you, for not bowing to the cynicism and bitterness!
Jersey Shortie Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Decent men are so scarce these days! I fear this is the truth. Hard to find a really good man these days. Grogster's avatar is funny.
Darth Vader Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Every man I have ever dated has either been very selfish, or a pot head, or mean, or unstable, or depressed, or a liar, or has attempted to use me just for sex. Is there really such thing as a nice, normal man, because I really am starting to get doubts. Nice/normal/Good guys, whatever the terminology here is. Um, I'll talk about the Good guy, since I'm one of them! Yeah Right! The True Good guy never goes to a bar, NEVER EVER,Period! Why you may ask, too many losers are there just looking to get Laid, come on people admit it! Another reason, a possibility of an unforseeable problem occuring, such as violence, like fighting, gunfights, knive fights, getting mugged, stolen items (also include vehicles). Spilling beer on one's self. They might not want to lose their inhabitions by drinking, which can and does lead to other problematic situations of all kinds with women, which I'm sure that we're all well aware of! The best place I know of, is a church, but, you have to realize that even men who attend church are men as well, they're not dead or blind, they're still men, with all the attibutes and feelings that other men have. So, that tells you right there, even men who attend church are not perfect. You may just have an easier time of finding a Good man there. Keep in mind though, if you do look for a Good man or woman in a church, as someone else pointed out in so many words, he/she may not be searching for a woman/man that's been around, if you see what I'm saying. I know that seems off to some on here, but, you have to realize that it's not some sort of Judgement trip, but, it's more of a choice he/she has made, just like everyone else that has made a choice about what they do in their lives. Yeah, I saw that avatar too, it's well, different.
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