Soul Bear Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Following that ****ty, arrogant, superficial, codescending email about our 5 years together being ' a training ground for true love' 2 weeks ago today, a LAME apology and telling me how special our relationship was (?! if so special why throw the dream?!) I have heard nothing since. If she was REALLY sorry, there would have been a phonecall, a heartfelt email...something...but not that, not some pile of junk email that was to only assuge her own guilt. I know she is stubborn as hell, has an inflated ego like never before and is too proud, but that is just SO lame....... I have been NC for a month tomorow. I will in no way be contacting her, now Im to proud after putting it all out there for 2 months and getting rejected and looking like such a muppet time after time. I spend my days smiling, even tho she is still a constant torment, my weekend evenings with my new friends, whom coincidentaly are the brothers of my ex's other singer in her old band. In fact, she was the one who introduced the ex and I. She studies in the US but came back to UK fpr a few days and invited me to her house for a very small party (5 of us) and to meet her brothers who are just to cool. It was great! but sunday I was a mess again. lol Another mutual friend came down too foir the weekend from Scotland, we shared a bed, didnt sleep together, although she said she was attracted to me and I was gorgeous it wouldnt be right to rebound with her-which i agreed with and there was no akwardness at all, but It was nice to have the company for the first time in almost 4 months. I half wish my ex new just how much fun I was having, that I shared a bed with a mutual yet distant friend, that i was at our frinds house and she was not invited down, that i look DAMN good again and am starting to get back my confidence....seriously, i have a small (very small) complex starting that I am just ****ing amazing!!! ahahaha (oh but I am, and so are YOU) Im starting to see again not what I lost, but what SHE lost...validate *this* lol Feel a bit jaded today as the friend has gone back the US and the other friend back to Scotland again, but things are starting to take shape....some weird shape at that, not really any structure to it, but things are starting to look a little less like crap and a little more like hope for a bright future. Cant wait until i stop feeling/thinking/hopeing sometimes and torturing my self from time to time on purpose.... ANyway, more of a rant than anything else. Stil;l think about her every day, plagued by dreams every night, but i notice i dont hold the same passion I once did- i just miss what was. For me tho, now all i can think about is the hurt she caused me post breakup. Things could NEVER be the same again, not for a long time, if ever. Comes and goes in waves of releif and then sadness. Just gotta keep smiling. And so do you There HAS to be someone better out there for ALL of us:cool:
fabulous_chk Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 My gods, finger-licking good soul bear! I missed you so much! One month of NC is f u c k I n g awesome wowowow! I only achieved 18 days lol! You are doing so well! I'm glad you are doing things on your own - you never needed her on the first place! You are gorgeous. You will be surrounded by women pretty soon. I do still get sad but I am okay with it, it's not the devastating kind of sadness, it's like remembering a pet that died a long time ago. You miss it, but you know it's dead and not coming back and you accept the fact with a sigh. I am sooo proud of you love! You will in two months' time will be like me: having a grand time dating and making new friends! P.S. I say my gods because I'm slowly becoming a hindu but worship a certain god name Varun. It's a good physical kind of worship lol! Sublime!
NopeNah Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 ***VALIDATED*** You've come a long way, my man! Good to see you're doing a bit better!
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Following that ****ty, arrogant, superficial, codescending email about our 5 years together being ' a training ground for true love' 2 weeks ago today, a LAME apology and telling me how special our relationship was (?! if so special why throw the dream?!) I have heard nothing since. If she was REALLY sorry, there would have been a phonecall, a heartfelt email...something...but not that, not some pile of junk email that was to only assuge her own guilt. I know she is stubborn as hell, has an inflated ego like never before and is too proud, but that is just SO lame....... Once this is gone from your psyche and prose, you'll be on your way to lasting healing and polite indifference. Nice rant and I wish you well
LostLamb Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 What a horrid cow! Why can't ex loves be wiped from our heads? Or dumped on Shetland. Keep strong with NC if it helps you , i'm six months in and still think about my ex too much but i'm prous i've not called or text him. Nothing left to say anyway.
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