Author SweetyBear Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Thanks boldjack...ummmm, I'm pretty sure that your advice is exactly what I said I'm going to do. Resentment toward him? No, not really. Like I said sometimes I think I feel so hurt that I get angry. I think that's a normal human response and it's just a simple defense mechanism. It's almost like you want me to admit that I'm not really actually not regretful and that I blame him. In my way of thinking you don't just stand somebody up with no explanation so I do think that was out of line seeing as how it happened 6 times. You might assume maybe that's his way of dealing with his hurt, but it wasn't cool at all. Like I said, lesson learned and moving back to my happy and contented life that I had before this relationship.
Andy L Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Dear I've written a answer-post but when i was posting my net turn-off.. BTW is this: If you became special to his life, if were a real good one by his side, don't think he does not consider that good part of you with him as it was. Maybe you have been trying so much to change his mind... Try another strategic: Stop send him requests of come back (as you named it "to talk only"..), let he to think in a new situation under your silence for a period of weeks or few months.. If you keep on running to him you will always make his ego to be in a higher level and probably enjoying it.
boldjack Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 SB Good luck to you and I hope you will do better in the future.
sugarmomma Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Nope, no cheating involved at all. He was spending all his time working and I got very insecure and thought he didn't care about me/prioritize me anymore. QUOTE] Sounds like he wasn't really that into the r in the first place. He was being neglectful which caused you to end the r. I think you should have ended it but you also should have been firm in your decision. He stood you up 6 times? That is just cruel. Next time if someone stand u up once you should just forget about them. He was probably being this type of person in the r (inconsiderate, rude, nasty) He probably was being purposefully neglectful and sabatoged the r, which (rightfully so) caused you to call it quits. Therefore, making you into the bad guy. Voila!
Author SweetyBear Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks Sugar, He wasn't nasty or rude during our relationship, but he was incredibly inconsiderate IMO. I ask myself over and over again since breaking up whether my true intention was a wake up call to him, but he took me up on it. What I really wish is that I had discussed it with him to the extent where he really understood how bad his inattention was hurting me and not just ended it. We had talked about it, sure, but we each had our corners on that argument and I think we both refused to see the other's POV. My thought now that I've truly decided to move on is that maybe he was sick of us revisiting the same issue over and over and decided when I said we just didn't see eye to eye and we should end it to agree. I've not been in very many relationships even though I'm not young. I'm pretty much against the idea of being with anybody ever again. I'm going to concentrate on my kids, my counseling, school and work. I have a lot on my plate anyway. If he would ever want to talk to me, I'd be eager to listen and see if we have both changed enough where it could be different. If he doesn't ever want to talk to me, I am just working my way back into the happy, contented life I had before.
EmperorR Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I agree 100% Kizik. This is the exact same thing my ex did. I wanted her back at the beginging and she'd have NO part of it. Now She's the one trying to "Have us be happy together forever".. No thanks! Don't really feel like walking around with my guard up in a relationship. I'll pass! NEXT!! yep its funny, in the first few months after you would do anything tobe with that person,g ive your arm, give a kidney, but once you get to the point of realizing what they did to you, suddenly they pop back up and expect all to be forgiven
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 once you get to the point of realizing what they did to you, suddenly they pop back up and expect all to be forgiven Yeah, I hear this a lot and see it in the media (think Swingers) but for me it's BS. My wretched ex, goddamn her soul, has not ONCE attempted to contact me after our breakup. We were together for THREE YEARS and knew each other for TWELVE. F*ck that b*tch, what a waste of my life.
Recommended Posts