Truly Lost Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Oh and to add to my previous post. When he was introducing me to friends and coworkers, some people would ask, "Where did you find her?" He would reply, "I didn't find her, she found me."
Brady_to_Moss Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Bull. Doesnt happen for me. Havent been looking in months and i am only worried about my self right now. But now that i am not looking...the single life seems much more fun than being tied down to someone.
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Yep, months will turn into years and pretty soon the only women hitting on you will be grannies rolling around in wheelchairs at the nursing home. That's the way it is when you have a dangling participle
lino Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I once met someone when I wasn't expecting to. Other than that I've always had to find a woman. it seems a lot of people already in relationships say things like that, and tell you to don't worry and to just pursue your own interests and you'll eventually meet someone. People in happy, long-term relationships say a lot of annoying things like that to make the single person feel better. If I'm ever in a LTR I'm never going to tell a single person those things because I know to well what it feels like to be eternally single and hearing those type of things definitely don't help or make me feel better.
Sam Spade Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Just a question, does anybody here actually believe those old sayings such as "you'll meet someone when you least expect it" or "you'll meet someone when you're not looking" and other sayings along those lines? Just asking because it seems a lot of people already in relationships say things like that, and tell you to don't worry and to just pursue your own interests and you'll eventually meet someone. Anybody actually buy this? I've been pursuing my own interests and doing my own thing for a long time now and I don't get women popping into my life. The only time I have ever had relationships (very few) is when I have been very actively pursing women. I say complete bull****. It is only moderately true if you live in medium sized city (people in the biggest of cities are a little too jaded for a normal relationship , except Chicago ), and if you're a woman (becayse women are barraged with offers all the time, so the cliche really only applies to them by saying to stop being such party poopers and to figure their emotional messes out instead; when this happens, it is the equivalent of pulling their head out of their azz, and they begin to notice the few good men that have been there all along ). Peace .
Sam Spade Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I think this made me cry. I've moved several times in the past 2 years, and the last time I was around lots of singles was in college. But you're in a graduate program now. All you need to do is to look up the new disgruntled assistant professor that's way too smart for their respective department. (Only tenure track though, no adjuncts!) Then, he can fall in love with you, get fired, and the two of you will move to Mexico, where he'll find a much better job as a consiglieri to the local narco baron, and you'll walk around in a huge hat while supporting the local arts foundations or something .
carhill Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Then, he can fall in love with you, get fired, and the two of you will move to Mexico, where he'll find a much better job as a consiglieri to the local narco baron, and you'll walk around in a huge hat while supporting the local arts foundations or something . You should write books
Stockalone Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I think this made me cry. I've moved several times in the past 2 years, and the last time I was around lots of singles was in college. Less exposure just means less opportunities. It doesn't make it impossible to find someone, but it will probably take longer that way. But I understand how you feel. As soon as I left college, it seemed like all the single women my age had fallen off the face of the earth. I know they are out there, but I simply don't encounter them anymore during my daily routine. That is my own fault though. Maybe you can make small changes to your daily routine to get more exposure and thus create more opportunities for guys to notice you and ask you out.
Ariadne Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Just a question, does anybody here actually believe those old sayings such as "you'll meet someone when you least expect it" or "you'll meet someone when you're not looking" In my case, not true. In 41 years I have never met anybody when I least expected it. Not once. And whenever I actually was looking and put myself out there, I met people that were completely incompatible. A huge waste of time. So, I'll be single forever.
Ariadne Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 (Oh yeah, and when I met people that I thought were compatible, they didn't want me)
kizik Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 As soon as I left college, it seemed like all the single women my age had fallen off the face of the earth. I gotta say, I'm in college, and all the girls are either stupid, taken, or both. I swear to GOD there is nothing more annoying than a cute girl, who knows she's cute, under the age of 25.
Ariadne Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 People in happy, long-term relationships say a lot of annoying things like that to make the single person feel better. If I'm ever in a LTR I'm never going to tell a single person those things because I know to well what it feels like to be eternally single and hearing those type of things definitely don't help or make me feel better. They think that whatever happened to them, is going to happen to you exactly. See? I got married to this wonderful person. Your time will come also. Sure.......
Trialbyfire Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Ariadne, it appears that you're another one who's drawn to emotionally unavailable men.
Ariadne Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Ariadne, it appears that you're another one who's drawn to emotionally unavailable men. No, the available men that I met just sucked.
Ariadne Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Ariadne, it appears that you're another one who's drawn to emotionally unavailable men. Either they were completely dumb (more than me even) and it felt like I was talking to children, or they were in serious debt, etc etc etc. For some reason, I didn't "fall in love" with them.
sumdude Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 It's happened that way for me pretty much. I'll be tooling along, living my life just doing my thing and suddenly I'll find out a girl has the hots for me and I had no clue! I think it's because when I'm out of that "looking for it" mindset I act more like my natural self, which apparently is a lot more attractive than the guy who is out there looking! Oh life is full of ironies...
lovestruck818 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Fact for me: It's always rained men when I least wanted a relationship. My current engagement and previous STR, were random meets. Fact for everyone: If your environment doesn't expose you to many single people, it's not going to happen for you. Fact for men: If you don't ask anyone out, you're going to have a helluva' time getting dates. haha unless you are in the same room as me...b/c I ALWAYS do the approaching. I don't like when men appraoch me...it's too easy for me then and I'm not gonna waste my time on something that's easy.
lovestruck818 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Fact for me: It's always rained men when I least wanted a relationship. My current engagement and previous STR, were random meets. Fact for everyone: If your environment doesn't expose you to many single people, it's not going to happen for you. Fact for men: If you don't ask anyone out, you're going to have a helluva' time getting dates. Internet dating?
Stockalone Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I gotta say, I'm in college, and all the girls are either stupid, taken, or both. I swear to GOD there is nothing more annoying than a cute girl, who knows she's cute, under the age of 25. Fair enough. I didn't even like college all that much, but at least college meant exposure to women and I can honestly say I met plenty of good-looking, smart and interesting women who weren't taken. Could have been a cultural thing, but I doubt it. Recreational sports organized by the college were co-ed, there were women on my study groups, friends had female friends, etc. For most people that is probably something normal, but for me, that was something new, something unusual. I didn't date in high school, so in that regard, college was a welcome change. I had my only LTR in college with a wonderful woman, beginner's luck I guess. And then, after college, things went back to how life was before. Basically not meeting any women during my daily routine.
lovestruck818 Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I've figured it out: this is a cliche directed at women, because it's their "job" to be receptive and of course they meet men when they "least expect it." This doesn't apply to men, though, because since we are the pursuers, we can never "not expect" to pursue a girl... we are always expecting or anticipating or attempting to meet women (or at least, we should be). There's rarely a case of a guy, with a functioning dick, who gets hit on by a woman when he "least expects it" and then a relationship burgeons from there. Women - it happens Men - it's BS but women can just as easily (and should) pursue men. If they choose not to, that's their problem. I always approach men b/c a) I'm confident in myself not to care to go against the societal norm and b) it opens the door to an opportunity maybe I wouldn't have had if I didn't take the initiative. Maybe he was too shy to approach me that's why he didn't, etc. etc...there are thousands of scenarios.
sumdude Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I gotta say, I'm in college, and all the girls are either stupid, taken, or both. I swear to GOD there is nothing more annoying than a cute girl, who knows she's cute, under the age of 25. So bust them on it.. playfully mind you... and see what happens.. :laugh:
kizik Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 So bust them on it.. playfully mind you... and see what happens.. :laugh: Ahh, a little "negging"?
Els Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I suspect it's more like, 'you have a higher chance of hitting it with someone when you're not thinking about it all the time or desperate to get someone'. Simple reason: a guy who's chilling and enjoying what he's doing is FAR more attractive than a guy who JUST WANTS A GF DAMMIT, WHY CANT I HAVE A GF. And trust me, us girls can tell.
Els Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I gotta say, I'm in college, and all the girls are either stupid, taken, or both. I swear to GOD there is nothing more annoying than a cute girl, who knows she's cute, under the age of 25. I'm gonna have to place the blame on guys for that, for the most part. If they didn't enable such behaviour by treating such girls like goddesses whose favour they must strive to attain, while evidently disdaining and ignoring girls whose strong point isn't exactly physical attractiveness, I don't think this behaviour would be so rampant.
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