aloneanddepressed Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 As I previously mentioned in a thread, I was wondering if it is in fact too early to start dating someone else. I haven't talked to my ex bf in about two weeks now, but its only been like four days ago since I found out we are definitely over. A relative of mine had briefly spoken to one of my ex co-workers regarding this guy, that they thought at one time would have possibly been a good prospect for me. Without getting my approval, my relative gave the co-worker my number and of course she gave it to this guy! My relative was apparently unaware of how serious my relationship was at the time. Anyways, I just got a call last night from this guy. It apparently took him nearly two weeks to get the nerve to call me. We talked for a few hours, but I find myself of course still thinking of my ex. I'm having all these mixed emotions, of anger, guilt ect. I'm no where near over it. I was suprised this guy has already asked me out, and was talking about in the next few days. Maybe I should have been upfront , and told him I'm not ready to go out yet, but I am a bit worried, being he is a nice guy to pass up an opportunity. I don't want him to think I'm a player or something. He already said he has had bad luck before with dating. I feel so bad, last night after our talk, all I could think about is my ex. I actually felt even more upset, because I think you start to realize it is really over, since you are already talking to someone else. I know it is over, but still. It is very hurtful to me. I'm really upset at my relative for allowing my number to be given to him like that. I don't know what to do. He sent me a "sweet dreams" text last night, and just a bit ago he text me from work saying "hope you are having a nice day". I was polite and sent a text back both times. I'm not sure why he is texting so much after he has only spoken to me once on phone. I feel obligated to further talk to him, get to know him, and if I turn him down, I'm afraid he will get very offended, and it will get back to my ex co-worker and she will think poorly of me as well. Not to mention, I will possibly regret not giving it a chance. I already have this fear of not meeting the right person. This is not my fault though, no one should be giving someone's number to someone without their approval. He is supposedly going to call me tonight....any thoughts as to what I should say/do?
evaG Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 It's ok. It takes time to heal. If anything, you guys can go out for coffee and then you can explain to him your situation. If he wants, you guys can continue having amicable coffee dates until it blooms into something more. I think he will appreciate the honesty.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 Well, I am so upset today! On top of everything, a family member is making me feel guilty, like I should just go on out with this new guy. I realize i don't have to jump into anything serious, but honestly the thought of going out with someone new right now makes me SICK. I should not feel pressured like this. I don't need it. I'm already so upset about the breakup thing. They are making me feel like "what if you miss out on a chance". UM....well so what? Maybe I will, but I'm too upset to function right now. I found this site, and it talks about when you should start dating again. I feel they are not respecting my feelings. http://www.romanceforeveryone.com/article/after-a-breakup-when-to-start-dating-again.html
kizik Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Dating someone while you're on the rebound hurts everyone involved. DON'T do it. I recently saw a girl who was not over her ex, and of course we stopped seeing each other once she let this news fly. What a bummer. She could have avoided hurting my feelings simply by taking some alone time after the breakup - nope, she had to be like you and string me along for the ego-feed of the attention. Good luck
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