green apples Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 It happens to me now and then. I don't like it, knowing we won't get back together, but it happens. Does anyone have a solution that stops the mind from thinking about it?
MusicChick24 Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 In my opinion it's normal to think back as long as there are no feelings attached to those thoughts. I dated a very nice guy in high school, who was a couple years younger than me and we broke up due to the fact that I was about to graduate and go to college the next year and he would still be in high school, and we remained friends. I often think about him even though I've now been with my bf for 5 years. I even have lunch with my exes mom once a month and take my current bf along with me because the exes mom loves my bf. It really depends on you. I think it's normal. But there is no certain way for you to STOP these thoughts. It will just take time...or maybe they will never go away.
kizik Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I do... these people were a big part of our lives, and no matter how we try, we're always going to remember them, for good or for bad. This is what I think of whenever I wonder if R thinks about me. The fact is that she must, from time to time, b/c the human brain is a powerful, emotional organism that cannot physically forget someone, save for that procedure from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So yeah, I think about her, and that's OK.
Confusedalways Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I think about him... the dangerous part was when I was comparing everyone to him. It took me long time to realize that I am not looking for him 'reincarnated' (so to speak) in someone else. Comparing his qualities and physique to that of other people I potentially dated was detrimental to me and probably explains why I'm still single. Anyway, I still think about him, more than I would like, and it's been years. I wish there was a quick tip but I think just getting yourself out there and dating more makes you think of the ex less and less.
tigressA Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I still think of a couple exes...the first one, who was my very first boyfriend, I've thought about more recently because I found out he's getting married in August. I'm happy for him. We dated three years ago and it was a really rough breakup that took me more than a year to get over fully. The other ex isn't "actually" an ex, seeing as we never "officially" dated. But I did have very intense feelings for him, more than anyone else I've been with save my current boyfriend. We're good friends, but I still feel that small "What if..." whenever he gets out of yet another relationship that turned out to be toxic for him, and I know he has too. Not the healthiest thing in the world. But the one thing I've found really helps is just diving into life--your responsibilities, interests, goals, friends, family.
Thaddeus Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I'm still in contact with a couple of my exes. I actually visited one a few weeks ago, stayed at her place (separate bedrooms) and we had a great time. We actually get along better now than when we were together. Just today I got a card in the mail from her with a nice note tucked inside, nothing even remotely suggestive just a "thanks for the visit" sort of thing. Another ex of mine emailed me just yesterday to say hello and invite me for dinner. And another one who recently got married just sent me a link to her Facebook page with pictures of her wedding. Now, there are others that I would not at all be happy about if they contacted me again. But those are few and far between.
Author green apples Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 I think about him... the dangerous part was when I was comparing everyone to him. It took me long time to realize that I am not looking for him 'reincarnated' (so to speak) in someone else. Comparing his qualities and physique to that of other people I potentially dated was detrimental to me and probably explains why I'm still single. Anyway, I still think about him, more than I would like, and it's been years. I wish there was a quick tip but I think just getting yourself out there and dating more makes you think of the ex less and less. I do compare them to an ex sometimes and put him on a pedestal. It infuriates me no end. Maybe the procedure from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is not a bad idea.
Author green apples Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 I still think of a couple exes...the first one, who was my very first boyfriend, I've thought about more recently because I found out he's getting married in August. I'm happy for him. We dated three years ago and it was a really rough breakup that took me more than a year to get over fully. The other ex isn't "actually" an ex, seeing as we never "officially" dated. But I did have very intense feelings for him, more than anyone else I've been with save my current boyfriend. We're good friends, but I still feel that small "What if..." whenever he gets out of yet another relationship that turned out to be toxic for him, and I know he has too. Not the healthiest thing in the world. But the one thing I've found really helps is just diving into life--your responsibilities, interests, goals, friends, family. I've continued on with my life. The ex just pops up now and then in my head.
utterer of lies Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 How many of you are still thinking of an ex from some time back? Everyone. It happens to me now and then. I don't like it, knowing we won't get back together, but it happens. Does anyone have a solution that stops the mind from thinking about it? Why, it's a good thing. Analyze your past, and you might even learn something. And if you're afraid you're thinking about him/her too much...find someone else to think about, either in your life or in a bar, at a party...
Author green apples Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Over-analyzing isn't fun. I'm tired of having an ex pop up now and then in my mind. It's like I'm not in control of my mind (I'm not a control freak). I want to stop thinking about the ex or put him on a pedestal and meet more meaningful people. I'm not sure if my thoughts of him held me back. It's weird but after all that he's done, I still don't see him as that much of a bad person or a loser. That would have been so much easier.
sumdude Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Sure, sometimes I still think about my ex wife. Especially when I'm not in a relationship.. like right now lol I try to tell myself that really I'm better off but sometimes I still miss her for a bit or more truthfully miss who she used to be and what we used to have. Both of those things are gone. It's almost like missing someone who has passed away. They exist only in your mind and heart. I think about lots of people from the past. Things just pop into my head from some reminder or another. The older I get the more memories there are.
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