When guy goes cold

[posh30]

:oi've been seeing a guy for just over 2months felt so great at the begining he was so sweet took me out bought me stuff and always saying nice things about looking after me forever and all that holding hand when out together and be cuddley could not keep hands of each other text all the time. Then the past 3 weeks the complete change is unbeliveable he hardly touches me or kisses me get a text a couple of times a day if i'm lucky hardly go out anywere these day's just stay in his house and yet we still see each other nearly everyday but he wont come near me hardly just feel so confused he used to say he loved me all the time but he hasn't said it the past week or anything romanctic it just seem like were just mates now. He just gives me a kiss goodnight when I leave cant understand why he wont just end it if he dont feel the same it is really starting to get me down as thought he was the one at first but now i've no idea what to think! When ever I try to bring it up he says i'm paranoid but you know when someone is being different with you.

 

So confused hope someone can help

[prettybaby]

You've been dating for 2 months .... that's .... 8 weeks

 

It sounds to me like you've been getting too much too soon. I mean, you guys are seeing each other daily already, you're disappointed about only getting a few texts a day (why? What would be a good amount to you?), he's been saying "I love you" a lot from the beginning ... Honestly, that doesn't sound right for only 8 weeks of dating, and it would have actually surprised me if he'd been able to keep this all up on the long run. It's too much for someone you've only recently started going out with.

 

Is this someone you knew before, or did you actually only meet the guy 8 weeks ago?

[posh30]

No didn't know him before it did take me aback abit at first though as to what he was saying to me at first as not know him that long matter of weeks

[saira]

could it be that the thrill of the first couple of weeks had worn off? he's got u now and no longer thrilled perhaps? remember men and women are totally different and am not suprised ur worried that he has now gone cold - its our very nature to think he has gone could. maybe give him space (how long its up to u), then maybe talk to him ask him whats up, be confident and state what u want from a relationship and if he cant come to this - move on/ perhaps he wasnt that into u after all.. if its met to be it is

[posh30]

Thanks for the advice hun yep i'm going to do that give space between us not seen him since sunday anyway still abit in contact though text's so just going to see what happens like u say if its ment to be it will be

[paddington bear]

I agree with the giving space. Maybe you were pushing him a bit much without realising it and he feels a bit smothered?

 

However, I was talking to a friend of mine about this very thing the other day. When you feel a subtle, or not so subtle in your case, shift in the object of your affection's behaviour. In my friend's case he simply asked what was wrong and it turned out his new partner had met up with his ex and was having confused emotions about him. Nice of him to let my friend know exactly what was going on, and not pretend everything was normal and deny that something was different.

 

We both agreed that you can simply tell that something has shifted in the other person. It's usually nothing to do with you, but to do with them. Is there an ex lurking around him? Could he have met someone else? In my experience, when a man's gone abruptly cold there is usually confused feelings about someone else going on in his head. Sometimes it's just confused feelings about getting so heavily involved in a relationship and he pulls back a bit, and if that's the case, let him, and let him bounce back to you, but just be aware that there might be someone else in the background there who his thoughts are now focused on - I hope that's not the case.

[posh30]

Funny you should mention about ex's as he noticed the ex girlfriend of 3years who she left him for someone else last nov he spotted her in the paper looking pregnant I had a feeling he still thought of his ex maybe I have just been the rebound perhaps

[13arkansas]

Be honest with him, say you have noticed a big change in him and it doesn't feel good, and that you will be giving him space for a bit.

 

He needs to see that you will not be available to him unless he treats you well.

[D-Lish]

I'm always thrown off by men that jump into promises and "I love you" so quickly. I never trust them, and I don't stick around for the inevitable let down.

 

I think it's a red flag that he stopped the affection when he found out about his ex possibly being pregnant.

 

I'd take from space from him if I were you, be a little more guarded with your heart where he is concerned.

[xpaperxcutx]

A man doesn't go cold without any reason, there's always something that happened to them to warrant them acting thus so. The only reason thats been commonly known to happen is that they met someone else, hence the behaviour you noticed- the lack of attention he pays you.

 

You can try backing off with the clinginess of a new relationship and see if that gauges his attention, but if that doesn't work then something's wrong and normally your instinct is right, and he's met someone else.

[posh30]

Yep I have mentioned about the defference in him he said he was sorry and didn't realise he was I have backed off and he has always text me first asking if im ok and that think we are meeting up tonight so will see how it goes

[saira]

thought - yes i know there are hiccups in just about anything but if dating gets dramatic how would a relationship be? remember to give him space... its a diffucult thing (am still mastering it) but once u get over the hurdle and its over 1,2, 3 months, ur sailing babie