Para Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 So I've been dating my (now) fiance for almost 4 years. He is a great guy, has some issues, hey who doesn't. After our first year of dating one another, he had met this girl who, like him, is a "furry" (don't ask, don't tell :/ it's just a hobby some people are into, and I am not.) She convinced him I was immature, moronic, and she was much better than I. So for a month, he left me and moved in with her. She was bipolar, manic depressive, and a schizo, he found out. After that month he came to me, asking me to come back. I said yes because I do and have always loved him. But while he was dating her, she pretended to be my friend (I am the type of person who is always sooo nice to everyone just because it's the way I am). So she would say "Oh, I just can't stand him! I want to break up with him so badly!" I would give her advice to help, and then she'd go to him and tell him how stupid I was, how I was talking poorly of him, etc. She abused our "friendship", told him I was so broken up over him leaving me (When I really was doing quite fine....) She all around just used me to make him think she was amazing. When he found out she wasn't, weeeell then we got together. A year passes, and he tells me she messaged him. I'm like weeell seeing that she was a complete you-know-what to me, and used me many times, I don't think you and her being friends is the greatest idea. He agreed, and didn't talk to her. Now another year+ a half passes, and I see him texting his one friend that I don't know very well, a guy, about joining the army and getting a new bf. I'm like, "wow didn't know our friend was gay!" he laughs and says "yea". I check Courtney (the ex's blogs) a day later. She's joining the army and got a new bf. I go back and check his phone. Yup. It's Courtney, under one of our friend's names. He's been sneaking talking to her. I am livid, pack all my stuff, and go home for the day. He refuses to apologize, then tells me she asked him back out 2 weeks ago. I say, "Wow that's totally disrespectful to me, especially since we're ENGAGED." Then she asked him to hang out with her- he said "No, my fiance doesn't really like you." Damn straight. I hate her guts. Now, she isn't a huge "furry" anymore, and he's not really interested in talking to her. But she is the type of chick who LOVES guy's attention (she's been dating this guy for 1 week- and she is joining the army to be with him, she's already signed up, 2 days after getting together with him). She's always done this with a ton of guys. Dated about 10 men in the past year. I would LOOOOOVE to go off on her. But I want to be the better person. My fiance already got an earful, I have never been mean or aggressive about Courtney before, it was a polite question to not talk to her, and he betrayed that utterly and completely. But I don't know.... I want to just wait it out, they haven't talked in three days, I don't want to be a spaz about this. It's just, she hurt me a lot, and for him to talk to her, and be sneaky about it.... I'd rather have the truth and hurt, than be lied to and hurt, you know? I don't know.... and I'm so passive, it's hard to be mean..... What should I do? What would you guys do? I'm irrevocably in love with him, I tried to leave him the day it happened and couldn't. I even packed all my things and went to my hometown. But this is my home, with him. I don't want to tell her off, because she has been and always will be a sl*t, and it will just make her go to him and say "WTF is your fiance saying" and it will give them a reason to talk. What a bother.....
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I stopped reading at "furry" because I now NEED to know what the hell that is so i can sleep tonight!
Author Para Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 Oh please no..... It's not anything too "normal".... It's just something some people are into. Please don't be too judgemental.... I just can't force myself to be into it like he is.
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Oh please no..... It's not anything too "normal".... It's just something some people are into. Please don't be too judgemental.... I just can't force myself to be into it like he is. Please tell me!! I need my rest...do it! do it! On edit.. I used the magic of google and will now read the rest of your post. WOW!!though. ;-)
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Time to bounce IMO..Let them play "furry's" together.. I honestly can not beleive that sh*t's out there and I've never heard of it..haha. Let it go,girl!
Author Para Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 It's crazy... and haha omg I wish I could sometimes!!
boogieboy Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I think you should postpone the engagement until you are sure he is not talking to her ever again. If he had to sneak messages to her, he obviously still wants something from her. In his mind he probably still wants something. Now you have to go months before finding out whether or not he cut her off. I dont know about this guy.
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I dont know about this guy. I do... He's a "furry".
Author Para Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 Hahaha it's so hysterical, the concept of it makes me laugh every time. And I don't want to watch him like a hawk just to find out. I want to trust him, but how, if he's already shown me he's willing to sneak stuff? he told me that it was my fault he had to sneak it, because if I had found out I would've been depressed. I'm like "....well yeah.....because you're talking to her...."
NopeNah Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Hahaha it's so hysterical, the concept of it makes me laugh every time. And I don't want to watch him like a hawk just to find out. I want to trust him, but how, if he's already shown me he's willing to sneak stuff? he told me that it was my fault he had to sneak it, because if I had found out I would've been depressed. I'm like "....well yeah.....because you're talking to her...." Goodluck to you, dear. I still cannot stop laughing though about this "furry" stuff! My friends are going to die when I reveal this "secret society" to them.haha.. I'm not laughing or making lite of what you're going thru by the way,please know that! I do wish you the best!
Author Para Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 It's alright, I understand.... took some desensitizing to get used to it myself :/
Lucky_One Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 So, are they the kind of furries who have fursonas and fursuits that accomodate sexual activity? I mean, do they have a definite kink going on with each other that he just can't get with anyone, um, normal?
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Time to bounce IMO..Let them play "furry's" together.. I honestly can not beleive that sh*t's out there and I've never heard of it..haha. Let it go,girl! Holy shiite. No kidding. Google is my friend. Geezzz. You sure you wanna marry this guy? I mean, I encourage a rich fantasy life, but you have got to be kidding me. OK...furry aside...if he's willing to hide the psycho from you and continue to contact her and not feel any guilt - well, imo, that's a very bad sign. I wouldn't be able to deal with someone sneaky ever again. I simply wouldn't do it. So I agree with the previous poster that said to hold off the engagement until you're sure he's no longer talking to her and he has made a spoken commitment to you to not talk to her. If he can't keep THAT small little commitment, how the hell is this guy going to adhere to marital vows?
LDR Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I would hold it also. Why does he have to keep contact with her, specially after cheating on you with her??? Its very disrespectful and very immature, specially when he blames you for having to sneak around.
boogieboy Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Not to be judgemental, but the guy gives you the biggest red flag for sneaking texts with his ex, and he does THIS???
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Not to be judgemental, but the guy gives you the biggest red flag for sneaking texts with his ex, and he does THIS??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lmao: I personally like this one: http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/page/furry-32234.jpg Seductive little tail peeking out from under the skirt. I wonder if she gets hit on more often when she's wearing that?
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