KismetGirl Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 In such a case I can't see any other option but hyphenation, that's the best compromise isn't it? Some people even "combine" their two names into one new name , like , oh, i dont know...."Johnson" and "Bedford" to be "Bedson" or "Johnford" or something. Or just hyphenate it. My last name is unique and I work hard for what ive earned. Im going to medical school, and feel that at the end of all my hard work I will be "Dr. Kismetgirl". Why should my future husband's family's name get credit for my hard work? Maybe it sounds silly, but I wouldn't take his name. At best, I would be willing to keep my name professionally, and then maybe hyphenate it with his for legal purposes so that the whole family (me, him, and any children we have) are all connected somehow by name. But it's not that big of a deal is it? My parents are divorced and my mom went back to her maiden name. So, we have different surnames, but i don't feel any less connected to her. She has children with my stepfather, and the children's names are hyphenated last names, with both her and my stepfathers last name together. Seems to work for them. I have yet another person I know, her husband's last name is "Dick". Seriously. Awful name right? His first name is awful too, I don't know what his parents were thinking. Anyway, when she married him, she hyphenated her last name. Obviously I wont write her name here, but let's say HER last name was Johnson. Now she is Mrs. Johnson-Dick. Her and her husband had their first child a couple years ago, and her husband actually insisted that their daughter take HER name instead of his, because he didn't want his daughter growing up being teased for obvious reasons about her last name. It really doesnt make a difference. Some people are happy to be traditional and take the man's name, and some aren't. When my mother got divorced from my father and went back to her maiden name, she had to jump through hoops and do all sorts of things just to get her name back and said "this is crazy, im never changing my name again". hasn't made a bit of difference in her new relationship/2nd marriage. It's up to the couple involved. There are plenty of options. But sadly, you really will have to come to some compromise eventually. I don't think his ex wife should have any consideration thouh, who cares if she was the "first" Mrs. Whatever? She's not you, you're not her. And like it or not, her kids WILL be related to your kids, they have the same father. They will be both Irish and German. Maybe you can give them typically Irish first names? Honestly, I think the answer to your problem is either a name combination (whichi doubt your boyfriend will go for) or just keep your own name and hyphenate the kids name's. When they are adults, if they really hate it that much, they can choose to legally change it to just your name, just his name or keep it as is. Like many things, these are things to compomise and discuss. If you can't amicably have a discussion about this, you'll have much bigger problems in the future trying to discuss anything important.
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