When will women start protecting their male loved ones from bad partners?

[D-Lish]

 

Fathers are inclined to protect their daughters more so than mothers are for sons, in respect to the dating world. Mother's comfort a broken hearted son, fathers load up the guns and go after the bastard that broke his little girl's heart. We've been programmed that way since the dawn of time. Mother's are loving creatures with logic and fathers are still knuckle dragging oaf's with a soft heart for their daughters.

 

Well clearly you have never met my ex-mother-in-law.

[pole_cat]

I work as a software engineer and I have almost always been the only woman in the engineering department. Thus, most of my close friends are men. These are men that I like very much as fellow human beings (no romantic interest I am happily married) and I care about their welfare. They are, on the whole, attractive and have had at least a few girlfriends. Dating is nothing new or novel to them. They aren't "geeks" in looks or personality.

 

Several of these men have, over time, lived with/dated women seriously. I met these women and spent time with them at parties,etc... Many of them seemed, to me, at least manipulative and self-centered. At worst, they showed signs of having a personality disorder.

 

Was I concerned about my friends? YES! Did I say anything to these men about their girlfriends? YES! When given an opening, I would first try gentle hints. If those weren't picked up on, I'd become progressively more bold with my comments and observations but in such a way that I hoped I would not offend and put them on the defensive. If asked directly, I'd give it to them straight. One such conversation I had, long ago, ended with my saying, "This is the cold, hard truth and I'm telling you this because you're my friend. This woman (his fiancee) is pathologically dependent and selfish. She will drain you dry and you'll receive nothing in return." Today this friend is married to that woman has been flat out MISERABLE since shortly after their wedding. She is now pregnant (huh?!?) and he feels as if there's no escape.

 

This scenario has played out over and over again with only minor variations. Even if they openly agree with everything I say, it doesn't make a difference. It's as if they are hogtied and thrown onto the "marriage and baby conveyer belt." They just go limp. The passivity they all have exhibited astounded me at first. Now that I've seen this so many times (about 9 out of 11 times), I've become somewhat dismayed and, truthfully, disgusted. It's pretty pathetic.

 

That's been my experience in attempting to protect my male friends; frustrating and futile.

[Woggle]

And "compete and win" is NOT in furtherance of (men's) goals? And is NOT as simplistic and as laughable?

 

Are some people for real? Or is it just 'Devil's Advocate' work?

 

NTLS, I do agree with you -- focusing on just one or the other is simplistic and laughable, and does not promote happy, safe and successful relationships between the sexes. How to change how society is currently doing it? Good lord, I do wish I had the answer to that one.

We'll keep brainstorming, huh? -- that's the only thing I can think to do.

 

Compete and win furthers an individual man's goals. Men are not above stepping on other men to get ahead. Plenty of male judges and lawyers have gotten very rich roasting men over the coals in family court but it certainly has not furthered men as a whole. Men need to start looking out for other and forming a hive mentality if we ever hope to win the battle of the sexes.

[Island Girl]

Please don't have children. You are a danger to children.

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Yeah, he's a danger to children for knowing full well what a young boy is after when he dates a girl -- being that he was one once upon a time!!!

 

THAT is where the grilling comes from you know!

It isn't women who put men up to being protective of their daughters.

It is men remembering what they were like at that age!!!

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Dangerous!!! :lmao::lmao:

[Lucky_One]

LS posters, you can post to this guy all you want, but he isn't going to read it, he isn't going to comprehend it, and he isn't going to change. His life was ruined by some emasculating, horrible woman who didn't protect him, and that is the end of the story.

 

He isn't going to look around LS and see that posters here on dating seem to be pretty fairly divided between men and women, and that the posts on break ups are equal in gender, that the posts in parenting are equal in gender, that the posts in business are equal in gender, that the posts in infidelity are equal in gender, that the posts talking about happy relationships are equal in gender. He isn't going to see that pain is visited by both and that pain is borne by both.

 

He's making an active choice to be close-minded and discriminatory; don't waste effort on him, when there are posters who really do need some support or guidance.

[Island Girl]

He's making an active choice to be close-minded and discriminatory; don't waste effort on him, when there are posters who really do need some support or guidance.

 

Thank you Lucky_One.

 

It is true it is wasted effort. And that effort may help another.

 

I am unsubscribing this thread and blocking the OP right now.

[espec10001]

What type of ****ed up attitude is this? Life is painful. I look to a woman to take this pain away.

 

Women cannot take the pain away. A distraction, for a time, maybe. But like others have said, men compete with one another and inflict pain upon each other. You must learn to endure the pain, that is what becoming a man means. As men we have to put up with bull**** and do lots of things that we simply don't want to do, but we have to do it anyway. No one wants pain, but it is always there.

 

If you look to a woman to shield you from pain, you are only doing yourself a disservice, and you will not learn how to handle it yourself. Women have their own issues, they don't have time to take on yours. The sooner you start looking towards yourself for solutions and not a woman, the happier you'll be.

[a4a]

goodness........

 

not sure where all the hatred for women stems from but might be a good idea to hit Shortie (LS poster) up for a date.

 

Seriously where does your hatred stem from?

 

I also suggest to go get a vasectomy so you won't become a victim of a woman.

[espec10001]

No if only men have this pain then it is a woman's job to take it away.

 

Why should only one gender suffer through pain?

 

Why should men go through more pain?

 

Stop crying baby! I'm not your mother, if you want to cry then cry to your mommy.

[lab_brat]

Yes but when a man causes pain someone will hurt him as the weak man on the previous page pointed out.

 

When a man hurts a woman you have men going after him.

 

Would a woman go after a woman who hurt her son?

 

Really, what are you basing this on? These are generalisations.

 

I've never had a male family member stand up for me if i've been treated badly in a relationship. Not that i've wanted or needed it, granted, as i'm a grownup who can handle my own life, but still, i've had a few men treat me fairly appallingly and noone has gone running after them with a shotgun???

 

I have a son, and when he is old enough to date I would trust in his ability to choose his own partner and manage his own relationships. Sure, everyone (both men and women) gets screwed around from time to time in relationships, and it hurts, but it's up to the couple to sort it out, noone else should be getting involved. I trust the intellect and ability or both my adult brother and sister to know when they're dating a douchebag, its not my place to get involved. I'm assuming you're speaking of emotional hurt, by the way?

 

 

 

 

No if only men have this pain then it is a woman's job to take it away.

 

Why should only one gender suffer through pain?

 

Why should men go through more pain?

 

It is NOONE's job to fix you. NOONES. And you'll never be happy in a relationship if you go into it expecting another person to take all your pain away. Its not how it works.

 

And pain???? Honey, try giving birth to a 9-pound baby without pain relief. Thats pain.

 

Regardless, you're obviously in pain. I'm sorry for whoever hurt you, but you can't let your own experience sour the rest of your life. Life is about picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and wading back in. Each time, you get a bit older, and a bit wiser, but you need to work to make sure it doesn't make you bitter and mysogynistic.

[Jersey Shortie]

On numerous occasions I have given advice to male friends about women that I knew where bad for them. They never wanted to listen to me. The worse case was my own brother who got invovled with a very harmful young woman. She was not physically abusive but verbally abusive and ph ysically abusive to herself. It took him 4 years to wise up with both my mother and myself and his best friend trying to get him to listen.

 

The men I tried to help never wanted to listen to me. They were "men" and they could handle it all alone apparently and had to learn the hard way.

 

Women put gender loyalty above even their own family. I wish men would start doing the same.

 

Considering you are a man that infact does put gender loyatlies ahead of yourself even, i find your statement ironic.

[Woggle]

 

Considering you are a man that infact does put gender loyatlies ahead of yourself even, i find your statement ironic.

 

Most men are not like me though.

[Jersey Shortie]

In this regard, yes they are. Men have a great loyatly to their own gender then women.

[WTRanger]

I bet this guy knows or is the poster known as Alpha Wizard, the certified genius who is going to get a Noble Prize once he discovers what his discovery was.

[Els]

Alright, gimme your mum's number. I'll tell her what it is that her son really wants. Then maybe you'll be happy and will stop posting bitter stuff here?

[Woggle]

In this regard, yes they are. Men have a great loyatly to their own gender then women.

 

Are you serious? Most women will take the woman's side no matter while men will stab their best friend in the back just to impress a woman. There is no cohesion or unity amongst men whatsoever. I always go out of my way to help a man in need but I am the exception amongst my gender.

[TheMeatloafJuggler]

Men are just expected, by society, by other men, by women especially, to just suck it up.

 

Life is hard? Suck it up.

 

Lose your job? Suck it up.

 

Have struggles in your life? Suck it up.

 

I think women do "attack" women they view as negative to their brothers,uncles, male cousins, etc, etc. I just think how women "attack" is very different from how men perceive as conflict.

 

If two men have a problem, eventually they just punch it out. It's how men behave.

 

If two women have a problem, many times they will smile and kill each other softly with words, body language, tone inflection and so forth.

 

I think most men need to look much closer at how most women really behave. I think most men are not well attuned to how women interact and how they broker conflict with each other.

 

My observation is most women just outright hate each other. I know a lot of women who have told in me private and honestly that they don't really care for the company of most women. Most have told me that they'd prefer to often work for a male boss than a female one. Obviously, that's not super hard core empirical evidence, but I think it does illustrate that women do compete at a different level and seek conflict on a different plane than what I think most men can actually see and perceive.

 

TMLJ

[Trimmer]

Life is painful. I look to a woman to take this pain away.

Wow, that is eye-popping....

 

Well, no wonder you will be bitter towards all of "them," when it inevitably turns out that they can't.

 

And I would say exactly the same thing to a woman if the statement were reversed.

[lino]

To answer the OP,

 

IMO most women won't have respect for a man who needs his mum/auntie/sister/whoever stick up for him.

 

Sorry mate, that's just the way it is.

[donnamaybe]

Women's lives arent painful. They don't compete and hurt each other.

 

Ha HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! :lmao:

 

Where the hell have YOU been?! Do you even read some of the threads on this site?