ruggy Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Okay, a few months ago, some will remember, I started attempting to date this woman. The one who's in Columbia and working for her masters in edu. Canceled three or four dates and I said thanks but no thanks. Anyways, fast forward three months and she called me out of the blue. We hung out and I think we hit it off pretty good. We've since been talking daily, going out weekly and she comes over my condo once a week, not staying over, just coming over and spending time getting to know me. She did admit to me she has a bit of trust issues cause she had problems with men in the past. So I am playing it bit by bit. No intimacy yet either. Not trying to push anything, cause we do get along well, but she says these things, which are confusing to me at times. How do you know a woman you are seeing is actually interested in you as someone for an eventual relationship and not just a friend? Confused as usual.
Thaddeus Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Well, since she's already confided in you that she's got trust issues, I think that's a good step in the right direction. That said, you might be teetering on the edge of the friend zone if she's using you simply as her therapist. So while I admire the fact that you're taking it "bit by bit," I'd be careful of going too slow. Once friend-zoned, you're done and there's no chance. Have you kissed her?
carhill Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Yep, filler material for therapy between bad boys That's the cynical viewpoint, anyway. IMO, limit sponge time and focus on positive interactions between you two. If you find she turns to venting, dump her.
Author ruggy Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Amazingly, not yet. She called this morning and she wants to come over an hang out tonight. Then again, she did call me out of the blue on Memorial day and invite me out with her. At the end of the night, we hug good bye. Not a short hug thought, its a pretty long tight hug. When initially did not hug her goodbye last night, she says you are not going to hug me goodnight? So I did, again, she hugged me long and and held me pretty tight. She doesn't talk about her past relationships much. Wants to get to know more about me though. Still, she's pretty private about her life. Though, she did open up about her relationship with her mom and dad once. Don't know. On one hand, it drives me crazy she does not open up to me on simple things. On the other hand, its hard to know what she's thinking. I mean, she called me when she got home twice, I did not answer and this morning twice, and left a message on the second call this morning. I called her back when I was done with my morning stuff. But, very confusing. Even the last woman I went out with I kissed on the third date. Then again, I did not attempt to kiss her yet. Possibly because she is so tight lipped about common stuff. And I understand her trust issues, and that is why I am attempting to take it slow; like molasses slow. But, am I wasting time. She jokes and says we're like a married couple. I then say, yea perfect example with no sex. She laughs.
Thaddeus Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 She jokes and says we're like a married couple. I then say, yea perfect example with no sex. She laughs. There's your opening. Give her a kiss, dammit!
carhill Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I then say, yea perfect example with no sex. She laughs. "Yeah, laugh now but when I'm sucking your lips like a Hoover....hehe.." OP, actions buddy, actions. Be clear and direct. You tiptoe around long enough and she'll be gone. I used to do what you're doing and I can tell you with authority that it was a perfect method to remaining single and living alone
Recommended Posts