eggman6 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night and this chick recently decided it was necessary to let him know. Stupid bitch. He confronted me about it, and of course I have denied it all. I haven't spoken to him since the confrontation and I don't know if he believes me or not. If he knew it was true I would lose so many friends and it would ruin me. There is no way I could ever tell the truth. The confrontation happened over two weeks ago and now I cannot rid myself this guilt...I feel like I'm having a continuous anxiety attack. I'm having trouble sleeping. All I can think about is everything said during the confrontation. Someone help me...
Bejita463 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night and this chick recently decided it was necessary to let him know. Stupid bitch. He confronted me about it, and of course I have denied it all. I haven't spoken to him since the confrontation and I don't know if he believes me or not. If he knew it was true I would lose so many friends and it would ruin me. There is no way I could ever tell the truth. The confrontation happened over two weeks ago and now I cannot rid myself this guilt...I feel like I'm having a continuous anxiety attack. I'm having trouble sleeping. All I can think about is everything said during the confrontation. Pertinent parts as I see them are in bold. Someone help me... Stop making excuses and try telling the truth. Being drunk is not an excuse, and it is not solely the woman's fault that anything happened to tell your friend about. No one held a gun to your head. Your friend might not even care about it as much as you fear. He may simply want to know if what she told him was true, as she is an ex and not a current girlfriend. It is a shady thing to have done whether he cares or not, but lying about it is worse. If you sincerely regret your actions, it should be easy enough to convey those feelings. Whether you regret the sexual encounter or not, you should feel guilty about lying to your friend.
AlektraClementine Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Wow. I don't feel the least bit sorry for you. I can't stand a man who speaks about women that way. What a terrible thing to call her. And all for exposing you for who you are to your friend. Then you proceed to lie. "Obviously I denied it". Why obviously? Obviously, you shouldn't have banged his ex. Isn't there some code among men? If you lose a bunch of friends, it's because you can't be trusted as a friend. My only advice to you is to get busy telling the truth. That's the only thing that stands a remote chance of saving you.
Javelin Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night and this chick recently decided it was necessary to let him know. Stupid bitch. He confronted me about it, and of course I have denied it all. I haven't spoken to him since the confrontation and I don't know if he believes me or not. If he knew it was true I would lose so many friends and it would ruin me. There is no way I could ever tell the truth. The confrontation happened over two weeks ago and now I cannot rid myself this guilt...I feel like I'm having a continuous anxiety attack. I'm having trouble sleeping. All I can think about is everything said during the confrontation. I don't understand. Why is she the, 'stupid bitch' for coming clean? At least she can say that she was woman enough to tell the truth and here you are still denying the fact to protect yourself. Geesh, some friend you are. Someone help me... Do you really want to be helped, after this statement? There is no way I could ever tell the truth. You'd feel a lot better if you grew a pair and owned up to your selfishness. You should at least try to recover an ounce of respect. Yes, you're going to lose some friend(s), but that's the risk you were willing to take when you stabbed him in the back in the first place.
lkjh Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 How long have they been broken up? Dude, the best thing you can do is come clean. If you don't you will loose all of your creditability. By the way I think you are messed up for what you did but she sucks too. I don't know why everyone is defending her.
tami-chan Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I think Ikjh meant CREDIBILITY. That said, you got used by an evil woman to get back at her EX-BF...tell friend you were too drunk to remember, but if it was true, that you are profusely sorry. And own up being a crappy friend. Turn this around so your friend (the ex-bf) and the rest of your friends will see her for what she is. Don't get drunk anymore, as you lose self control and good-judgment when you do!
Thaddeus Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Wait a sec, everybody, hold the phone. Everyone's so quick to jump on the OP that they're missing the point. It's the dude's ex. Sure, maybe it wasn't the smartest thing the OP has ever done and yes he should have come clean, but if she's the ex then the original boyfriend has no claim on her whatsoever and she can do as she pleases, sleep with whomever she wants, go out with anyone she wants, etc. As for eggman6, lay off the booze. Obviously it's causing problems. You may have very well lost a friend, and that hurts, no question, but it's time to grow some stones and tell the dude the truth. As it is now, there will always be this cloud of questioned credibility hanging over you. It's up to you to clear it.
Javelin Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Wait a sec, everybody, hold the phone. Everyone's so quick to jump on the OP that they're missing the point. It's the dude's ex. Currently his Ex, but when he (the OP) slept with her, she was his (the friend) girlfriend. But, whatever... It does not matter what she is now, the fact is that he slept with her while she was dating his friend!
reservoirdog1 Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night I think it's pretty clear that, at the time the OP slept with her, she was already his buddy's ex-GF. Not current GF. Having said that: I agree it's an unwritten code among guys that you don't bang your buddy's ex (at least without getting their OK first). Now, the damage to result in this situation depends, in part, on when they broke up. If it was a few years ago -- and if the good friend is over her and not still hurting over the breakup -- then the damage won't be as bad. If it was a more recent breakup, the consequences for his friendship with his buddy could be much worse. However, the OP needs to grow a pair, tell his friend the truth, and accept the consequences. If he doesn't, he's just treating his friend with disrespect, for purely selfish reasons, and compounding what he's already done.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night and this chick recently decided it was necessary to let him know. so what? she is an X. Is she off limits because he happened to be with her before? Stupid bitch. Ya, well you slept with her. He confronted me about it, and of course I have denied it all. I don't understand why he would really care...she is an X. If one of my friends slept with an X of mine, I'd be telling him, "better you than me". I haven't spoken to him since the confrontation and I don't know if he believes me or not. whats to believe? you lied. If he knew it was true I would lose so many friends and it would ruin me. There is no way I could ever tell the truth. The confrontation happened over two weeks ago and now I cannot rid myself this guilt...I feel like I'm having a continuous anxiety attack. I'm having trouble sleeping. All I can think about is everything said during the confrontation. Someone help me... I still don't get it. Its not like you banged her while she was still going out with him. Or is the break up only like a week old or something?
Els Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Currently his Ex, but when he (the OP) slept with her, she was his (the friend) girlfriend. But, whatever... It does not matter what she is now, the fact is that he slept with her while she was dating his friend! Where did you read that?
lkjh Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Dexter, I usually agree with you but friends ex's are off limits. Maybe if they have been broken up for years and no longer talk but from what I have gathered here that is not the case. It seems like that guy still talks to his "ex". I have hooked up with girls who dated friends of mine but it was years after they dated and moved on. Also, the friends were people I didn't associate with anymore. I still think I was in the wrong
mark982 Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 my rule of thumb is/was must be broke up atleast a years before she's fair game. it's called respect for your friend.---- remember bros before hos
Dexter Morgan Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Dexter, I usually agree with you but friends ex's are off limits. Maybe if they have been broken up for years and no longer talk but from what I have gathered here that is not the case. It seems like that guy still talks to his "ex". I guess it all depends. his friend might have a point in being pissed if his X broke up with him. If his friend didn't want the girl, and broke up with her, then what would he care? He didn't want her right? But I just find this odd. If they are broken up, why would she feel the need to tell her "X"....OP's friend? could it be that they weren't really broken up? Or maybe it hasn't been that long? and if there is this code, and it is perceived as OP screwing his friend over, but oh...she is the "stupid b!tch"....eh?
Javelin Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Where did you read that? Well, technically, I'm assuming; since this is the, 'cheating, flirting, and jealousy' section of the dating forum. Otherwise, I'd like to believe that this would have been posted else where. Also, why would the OP be so hung up over this? Not to mention, Dexter's point: But I just find this odd. If they are broken up, why would she feel the need to tell her "X"....OP's friend? Again, I'm assuming until the OP clears this up. Anyway, if he slept with his buddy's ex-girlfriend, at the time they had sex, then that's really none of his friend's business. Don't get me wrong though; I would not sleep with any of my friend's ex-girlfriends, but that's just me. If my friend did it, I wouldn't hate my friend for it, regardless if it's an unwritten rule, because it's none of my business.
utterer of lies Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 I've done possibly the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I slept with my good friend's ex girlfriend one drunken night and this chick recently decided it was necessary to let him know. Stupid bitch. He confronted me about it, and of course I have denied it all. I haven't spoken to him since the confrontation and I don't know if he believes me or not. If he knew it was true I would lose so many friends and it would ruin me. There is no way I could ever tell the truth. The confrontation happened over two weeks ago and now I cannot rid myself this guilt...I feel like I'm having a continuous anxiety attack. I'm having trouble sleeping. All I can think about is everything said during the confrontation. Someone help me... It's very simple. Tell him the truth, and live with the consequences. Or Keep lying and deceiving him, your _good_ friend, and watch it become a festering wound that will poison your relationship not only with him but with 'so many other friends'. Great fun!
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