ME23 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I have gotten to know a man who I work with and I thought we were just friends. One day he put his number in my notebook and would make random comments like "call me." I never did. He gave me his number a few other times and said things like "call me if you ever want to talk." Okay...so I'm thinking he is hitting on me, but of course not sure because 1. He's married, 2. Much older, 3. From Lebanon and I'm thinking there are some cultural differences. Is this what I think it is?
Author ME23 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Hmmm...well crap. How do I handle this? He hasn't made an blatant sexual advances; therefore, I don't know what to say.
jj33 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 You dont say anything. You just ignore it. If he says how come you never called me, you just say you enjoy working with him and you are more comfortable keeping your relationship limited to work. Dont get into he is married - he knows that. Obviously that doesnt matter to him.
sugarmomma Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Hmmm...well crap. How do I handle this? He hasn't made an blatant sexual advances; therefore, I don't know what to say. You don't know what to say? I'll tell you what to say. Tell him "what makes you think that my self esteem is low enough to settle for someone else's husband? Do I look like a fool to you? Does your wife know that you want me to call you? Can I call her too? Go home to your wife. Get away from me before I report you to HR." That's what you tell him. Flippin loser! MM make my ass hurt with their crap! Sorry. I'm on a roll today.
Author ME23 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Bahahaha! Too bad I don't have you around to handle it for me! I was kind of hoping someone would just say, "Oh it's nothing...just friends." That way I don't have to confront anyone and lose a "friend."
Athena Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Bahahaha! Too bad I don't have you around to handle it for me! I was kind of hoping someone would just say, "Oh it's nothing...just friends." That way I don't have to confront anyone and lose a "friend." Nope, it's not 'just friends' -- he is feeling you out, seeing if you might be willing to move to closer intimacy with him.
fooled once Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 You don't have to confront and lose a friend. You just tell him that you don't call married men and you are sure his wife wouldn't appreciate him telling you to call him. Tell him you are a FRIEND, nothing more.
utterer of lies Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Okay...so I'm thinking he is hitting on me, but of course not sure because 1. He's married, 2. Much older, 3. From Lebanon and I'm thinking there are some cultural differences. Is this what I think it is? Yes. Now the question is - are you interested?
Author ME23 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Ummm...nope. Not interested in ruining anyone's life. Now...if he were single...hmmm...
Owl Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Good call. One thought for you on this. Guys don't often take hints. We're not built that way. Your lack of a response to his notes to you may not be taken as a lack of interest...instead, he may take it as a lack of rejection. Ever watch how courting works? Guys gently break "personal space"...at first, in non-threatening, slightly personal ways. They touch your arm, your shoulder. If you don't respond negatively, they PROGRESS. They only stop if you respond NEGATIVELY to their advances. If he doesn't stop very soon, be ready to tell him to stop. It might be the only way to prevent this from continuing. Set a boundary, and enforce it.
Author ME23 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Thanks, Owl. Always good to hear from a guy's prospective. It does make sense about the lack of rejection part. I guess I was/am too scared to say anything because he never made his intentions clear. Thank you for the heads-up on how a guy thinks!
Andy L Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Dear, it seems an easy thing to do (to avoid someone who is not right to you), and i think you even needed to ask here... Check if you're not really interested on him in some way. If so work with your own feeling. All the best:cool:
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