V.Vixen Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I am beginning to think that the males that I attract have a lot to do with my thought process and what I am sending out into the universe. I don't know if any of you believe in the law of attraction and the physics behind it all. All I know is that I attract losers, and I think I have more to offer than that. I attract the guys who only want to sleep with me, and once they do, they are gone. I am feeling low, and I know that this negative thought process is probably only encouraging more of the same. For some reason i can't seem to change my thought process, and start thinking about what I DO want as opposed to what I don't want. It seems this process has manifested itself in more aspects of life than just relationships, too. Do you believe in the law of attraction? Do you have advice on maybe attracting a GOOD guy who genuinely cares about me? I am getting frustrated and feeling more and more desperate. I don't want to feel desperate. I am just tired of being disappointed and want something real.
kizik Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I remember that that's you in the avatar, so first of all, you can prob. get most guys you want - you're cute! Secondly, pay attention to the guys you feel most comfortable around. Learn to trust your gut. Bail when a guy's a loser (which is a lot of the time), but stick around for the ones that really listen to you and seem to care about you as a person.
Bayern Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Off-topic, I'd like to say that I am glad to see a "loser" as someone who has nothing on his mind but trying to get in bed with women.
Author V.Vixen Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 The last guy I dated seemed to be ok, and then he said some offensive things WHILE we were in bed together, right after having sex. I won't go into details, but let's just say that I am not happy that I slept with him! lol I just keep thinking I am finding normal guys... and keep finding that I am doing something wrong when picking them.
Island Girl Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 All I know is that I attract losers, and I think I have more to offer than that. I attract the guys who only want to sleep with me, and once they do, they are gone. My guess is you don't put in enough time in the evaluation process to figure it if sex IS all they want. When you start dating someone there are certainly signs one way or the other. If you are going back to their place and hanging out - you shouldn't sleep with him and it is a red flag that he just wants sex. Any guy that you have sex with you ought to know pretty well. That means you've met friends or family members, you've been around in his life and can see the way he treats others and most importantly YOU. There is no rush to have sex. And it is true that some people have sex right away and end up in a wonderful lasting relationship. But that isn't YOUR history. So quit expecting that outcome. Expect the outcome you have been experiencing and adjust your decisions based on that. Don't start dating someone and then do the exact same things you always do. Start thinking first. You look back at these guys and was it worth it to sleep with them? No. Would you make the same decision to sleep with them knowing now what you do about them? No. So start having a real examination process BEFORE you jump into bed with a guy. Then if you see things you don't like - he lies to his friends, is relatively shadey, is cruel to animals, whatever it is -- YOU WALK. And you move on to someone else. Bottom line is you should be VERY PICKY about who you sleep with.
Sam Spade Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I am inclined to believe in this. I'm hardcore old school, paternalistic, overbearing, and just endearing enough to not be too annoying with all of the above; as a consequence, the women I tend to attract are cute, demure, modest, and submissive. I think it's great.
boldjack Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Vixie, First off, if tha't your pic in your avatar, everybody south of Albany would want to have sex with you, not just losers. You are hot!! Now, having dealt with the men, the only thing you have to fix is your ability to make good judgements regarding who to sleep with and who not to. Be more selective and patient, wait till you have a better handle on their character, and intentions. Don't worry about any "laws of attraction", they repealed those long ago.:)
boogieboy Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I am beginning to think that the males that I attract have a lot to do with my thought process and what I am sending out into the universe. I don't know if any of you believe in the law of attraction and the physics behind it all. All I know is that I attract losers, and I think I have more to offer than that. I attract the guys who only want to sleep with me, and once they do, they are gone. I am feeling low, and I know that this negative thought process is probably only encouraging more of the same. For some reason i can't seem to change my thought process, and start thinking about what I DO want as opposed to what I don't want. It seems this process has manifested itself in more aspects of life than just relationships, too. Do you believe in the law of attraction? Do you have advice on maybe attracting a GOOD guy who genuinely cares about me? I am getting frustrated and feeling more and more desperate. I don't want to feel desperate. I am just tired of being disappointed and want something real. I dont think you only attract losers, I think the good guys just dont approach you for some reason. The losers get to you fastest, its what they do best. So if you dont go after the ones you want, your pick will only be of losers. Vixen I'd like to see some background on your process, and what kind of guys you deem as "losers". Yknow, stuff like: (and i expect answers for all of these) Are they well employed Are they good looking do they seem like players where do you meet them do they seem interested in who you are when you first meet them, like do they ask you deep questions about your goals and dreams how long -or how many dates till you jump in the bed with them Do you see red flags before you get in bed with them I guess i can stop there for now The "how many dates" question will be very telling, then I can ask more.
Cora Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I agree that we tend to attract well I wont call them losers because I don't believe anyone is a loser.....but the wrong kinds of guys when we are feeling pretty low about ourselves. Your attitude about yourself sends off signals to these guys apparently. They usually can pick up on these things. Also, when you are feeling low you tend to just want to feel loved by anyone.....well in my experience anyway. You get lonely and even though you know you deserve sooo much better you settle for less. You are beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you so start believing that. Say it over and over to yourself if you have to. You know you deserve better so change the attitude and better will come along. I should probably start practicing what I preach. It's tough though...I know.
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