nessa1980 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Ok this is something that has just recently happened to me this week and I am still in shock and can't believe it. Well my and my ex have been off and on for the past two years. Not in a relationship but a more than friends deal. Everytime we stopped talking it was because I cut him off because of things I heard or because my gut was telling me to. But we always ended up talking again. Well this time around it was nothing new. I would checked on him because I wanted to know how he was doing. The next thing I know we are telling each other we love and miss one another and ended up spending time together a few times. Even messing around. Before he came around, I basically told him if he was dealing with someone that he needs to keep his distance. He never said anything. Then there was one day where we were supposed to have wine together, upon his request, but he cancelled. He did drop off the wine and told me to contact him. I did but he ignored me. So the next morning I made a joke about him being around another woman but he ignored my message and never said anything. We even had a converstation about being honest. For some reason I had this gut feeling that there was something wrong. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I decide to go to his MySpace page bc I had not been in a while. I go and look at his photo albums. I eventually run across one titled "My Lady and I" At this point I was shocked. I could not believe it. I was livid and felt betrayed at the same time. Not only had he cheated with me twice on his girlfriend but he basically lied to me. I did confront him on it. At first he said I didn't ask. But then I mentioned that I did not once but twice. That I even gave him the chance to clear himself when we were talking about honesty. Then he said because we weren't together and he don't understand why I am upset. I had said if I would have known he would not have been at my place like that. He was wrong period. I asked after the first time we broke up why he couldn't just tell me we were never going to get back together and to tell me that period. He said he can't because he can't predict the future. I also said if he didn't love me or miss me then he shouldn't say it. He said that I need to stop telling him he is lying about that. That he does love and miss me, he can't help how he feels. He assumed that I was "doing my thing". and I told him how as I when I was not over him and he knew that. I said that I need to detach from him to get over him, he said that I was giving ultimatums and why if I couldn't be with him, why couldn't I just be his friend. That he was mine even with me breaking up with him. Before we ended the conversation he stated that he would text me bc he was at his daughters program. I said if he did I would respond and if he didn't he shouldn't expect to hear from me for a while and I hung up on him. 20 min later he texted me telling me he was sorry for upsetting me. I tell him its cool that I am happy for him if he is and I love him that much that I can deal with him being with someone else. That I realize that I need to move on, its cool. That he needs to remember no one loves him more then me. That I love him. Goodbye. He asked why was I saying goodbye?? Are you serious!!??? I told him because my friends are honest with me and he wasn't. That I had given him chances to. That he basically played off of my emotions and played me. That in order for me to get other him I have to say goodbye because he is not making it easy. I couldn't deal with it and when/if I am ready then he will hear from me. That untill then he needs to leave me alone please. That was it. He respected my wish. My brother tells me that he will contact me still because I made him feel bad. Well guess what a few hours later he sends me a bogus email. I guess anything to make some kind of contact with me. I ignore it. But the next day I text him and tell him to delete my email from his list. He responded with "10 4" and I just said thank you and good bye. I forgave him, now I am moving on. What I want to know is why didn't he tell me about her? Since I am his ex, wouldn't he be happy to rub in my face that he is with someone else? Or is it that he is not that into her. I know they have not been together that long. My brother told me that he was not over me because if he was he would have told me about her and kept what we had on a friendship level nothing more, nothing less. My brother and everyone else is also telling me that he will be back. He is gonna give me time to cool down and then he will contact me again. That he knows I am a good woman and is not gonna let me walk away that easy. I just feel betrayed and hurt because I thought we were better then that. Any opinions anyone???????
dxb Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 What I want to know is why didn't he tell me about her? Since I am his ex, wouldn't he be happy to rub in my face that he is with someone else? Or is it that he is not that into her. No, it's probably because he's not so petty or childish to want to torment someone he cares about with his new happiness. On the other hand, he's also a cheat and a liar and he probably recognises the fact that if he didn't lie to you, you wouldn't have fooled around with him again. Move on. He's obviously a bit of a tit and you're better off without him. Take heart from the fact that although technically you became the OW you were deceived into it and there's no need to feel guilty or worry about it. His relationship with this other girl isn't going to last, so make sure than when it does crash and burn and inevitably he comes looking to you for some pity sex, you're out of his league and with someone who makes you happy and treats you right.
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