LJ7168 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 OK well, I have been talking to this girl for like the past month or so on and off, on line. She gave me her number so I called, She seamed like a really sweat girl and I was right she was. My issue is with myself. When I was a kid I became sick, and unfortunately my illness left me pretty scard up, my one leg is quite larger then the other. I realize its quite vain, but its just something I have dealt with thought out my life for the past 15 years. I might meet up with her tomorrow for the first time, and i really don't want to freak her out. Should and how should I tell her?
WhyYesThankYou Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 unfortunately my illness left me pretty scard up, my one leg is quite larger then the other. Is it something that's visible/noticeable when you're fully dressed? That is, will she definitely see that something's up with your leg when she meets you? Or is it something that could stay "under wraps"? Will write more once you've answered that...
Author LJ7168 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 When I wear pants you can't tell, I take care of my self and i keep up with it. But when I wear shorts you see my leg is bigger, and its in a stocking so its a differnt color, its very obvious. I'm not one to hide things from people I care about. I was planing to go too the beach with her, maybe do a little fishing, relax, have a nice afternoon. I can't really wear pants to a beach you look kind of silly i think.
Bayern Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Well, you know I would suggest just being honest with her beforehand. I don't think it is a big deal, so you should maybe bring it up like it isn't a big deal. Mention something about your legs and when she inquires what you're talking about, pull the old "I never told you about that?" routine. Make a joke out of it and move on as if it was nothing. The problem with this is (and I have the same problem) you may be more concerned about what you see as a deformity, than what she sees as an inperfection that is part of every human being. You need the confidence to know that you're no less of a person because of it. A sense of humor about it can't hurt either, I would say. Good luck.
WhyYesThankYou Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I'm not one to hide things from people I care about. Excellent attitude. Yeah, it shouldn't really be a big deal. If a physical quirk due to a childhood illness freaks her out, then she's not the girl for you anyway - better to find that out sooner rather than later. I don't think you need to mention it before you meet her, unless you want to. You could just meet her, not mention it straight away, and then a little later on go, "You might be wondering about my leg..." From there you could either tell her simply what happened - just like you've written here, and that you take care of it and it's not a big deal. Or start with a funny story about how last time you were at the beach, you were attacked by a shark etc etc and THEN tell her what really happened... As long as you show her it's not a big deal to you, it probably won't be a big deal to her either. We all have our imperfections; you just happen to have one that's visible. Another thing to note is that as we age, we are going to get more and more physical imperfections. So if you think really long term, you want to know someone's going to stick around with you even if something happens to your leg, arm, stomach, head, etc, right? Consider it a bit of a blessing that you get to weed out superficial, fair-weather friends early with your own built-in litmus test. This is probably of limited consolation when you're taking a chick to the beach and trying to make everything go well. But your attitude is the main thing, and from what I've read, you've got a good one.
Author LJ7168 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Thanks you eased my concerns. I was thinking the same thing, i'f she can't handle it, then that will be a good judge of character. I have nothing to lose but everything to gain so what the hell. I've done that before with some crazy story to complete strangers, they were horrified. I'll try maybe not to be so harsh. Thanks again though.
Confusedalways Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 You'll be fine! I love when guys tell me stuff like that, makes me feel like they trust me enough to know I won't judge them- and I don't
WhyYesThankYou Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I've done that before with some crazy story to complete strangers, they were horrified. I'll try maybe not to be so harsh. What sort of stories are you telling?? I'd recommend something that will make you sound super-cool and romantic. You were rescuing a kitten from a burning building... Or you were carrying war orphans across a piranha-infested river to safety...
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